Life after the Hunger Games
by gemstone43
Summary: Katniss Everdeen returns back from winning the Hunger Games. Though she believes she has left the arena behind, there is one thing which she'll never be able to lose. Peeta.
1. Chapter 1

I woke up to the faint hissing of Prim's cat, Buttercup, who was hunched beside my sister, protecting her as always.

"Shut up," I hiss back at it. Buttercup simply narrows his eyes into slits before he returns his attention back to Prim. Prim, my precious little sister. I call her 'Little Duck' though the nickname no longer suits the holder. Since I've returned back from the Games, I've noticed a sudden change in my sister. She's more mature, more calmer, more wiser. Prim is no longer the same sister who I witnessed crying the first time I brought home a squirrel as Game. She has now become a girl who is aware of the true realities of life, alongside that of the society.

I try to get back to sleep, though I know my attempts are futile. That stupid cat. I peer down at my left arm to find that I have been scratching it in my sleep again. I can't help it. Every time I shut my eyes I just imagine that I'm back in the arena… that my body is filled with tracker jacker venom, and I no longer know what is real or not. Though I have been given a house in VictorsVillage, I choose not to live there. I am not a victor, I am not a champion or whatever anybody else seems to be calling me now a days. I am simply a girl who was forced to fight for her life. Why should that be celebrated?

"Katniss?" I hear my sister mutter.

"What's up little duck?" I whisper quietly.

"What time is it?"

"Around 4am, go back to sleep little duck," I answer. I watch as Prim falls silently back to her peaceful sleep. How I envy that. I decide to go prepare breakfast for my mother, sister and I. As I walk into the kitchen, I flick on the switch to realise that the power has been cut to our house. Again. I light a candle which barely lights up the dingy kitchen. My eyes flicker to the calendar to notice the date. The 4th of September. Something rings in my head, suggesting to myself that there's something important about this date, but I don't know what. I walk over to the table, pulling out my hunting boots which I left under the table from last night. I put them on quickly, picking up my Game bag whilst hurrying out the door, hoping not to wake anyone.

As soon as the cool breeze hits my face, I feel a sudden relaxation from within me. I take my usual journey towards the fence separating District 12 from the woods. I listen patiently to hear the faint buzz to suggest that the fence is live. It never is. I crawl through the small gap and stroll quickly down to the woods, submerging myself with the trees and bushes, hiding myself from wondering eyes. I pick up my bow and arrow and go hunting in my usual spot.

Whilst walking I notice a fairly decent size rabbit hanging up by its back feet. Gale's snares never fail to work. I take down the rabbit placing it inside my bag. I reset the snare in hope of catching another one. Ten minutes of hunting and I have already caught three squirrels and a wild turkey. I always find it best to hunt when Game are likely to be sleeping.

"You're up early," I hear someone say from behind me. I turn around to find my best friend, Gale, smiling at me.

"Same could be said to you," I reply. I notice Gale's smile widening slightly before he directs the conversation to the snares.

"I notice that you've reset my snare, did we catch anything good?"

"How do you always know when I reset it? And yes, we got a rabbit."

"I can just tell a Catnip snare from mine," Gale shrugs.

The two of us begin walking back towards District 12, back to our form of prison. Since I've come back from the Games, I feel that Gale has become more distant with me. Well, who can blame him? I don't know if I would be able to look at him in the same way if I witnessed him killing people. But me and Gale used to be able to speak about anything, now we only talk about hunting or Prim. He doesn't question me on the Games, which I'm grateful for.

"Are you ready to go back to school?" Gale asks.

"What do you mean?" I reply in confusion.

"Well, today's the first day of school isn't it? My brother has been dreading it."

"Is that today? I knew there was something about today's date which rang a bell!" I exclaim, "I need to go home and make myself look presentable."

"You look fine to me," Gale smiles. I smile back, though I feel slightly awkward by his comment.

As we near the fence, I feel Gale grab onto my arm, he turns me to look at him before speaking.

"Ignore everything negative which people say to you today, Catnip. I mean it. No one knows what you have had to go through, so no one has the right to judge you." I stare at Gale, absorbing his words. What does he mean? I didn't assume anyone would say anything to me at school… but he's right. A school full of gossip queens, my name will be on everyone's lips. Judging me. I simply nod my head to Gale before I return home to Prim, mother and Buttercup.

As soon as I get home, I go up to the bathroom and run a bath. There is no hot water in this house and I haven't the time to heat it by gas, so a cold bath it is. I edge myself slowly and carefully into the tub. The water piercing my skin. As I sit in the bath, I can't help but remember the first time when I arrived in the Capitol and was practically hosed down by my prep team. Like I was an animal. But, I was practically was an animal. The lives of those in District 12 and that in the Capitol are unbelievably different. After an hour in the bath, I decide it's time to get out since I hear Prim waking up from our room.

"Katniss?" I hear her shout.

"I'm in the bath, Prim." I reply. That is one thing I have noticed with Prim, how anxious she has become when she does not know where I am. My poor sister. I get changed, wearing only a plain top and jeans before I braid my wet hair back. I walk downstairs to find my mother cooking up some squirrel which I had caught earlier this morning.

"Gale must have came round and dropped us off some food," my mother states when she sees me.

"That was nice of him," Prim adds whilst feeding Buttercup some of the squirrels intestines. I simply smile before sitting down opposite my sister at the table. I hadn't even noticed how much I had been fidgeting until my sister points it out.

"Katniss, are you okay? You're moving your hands around a lot."

"Of course I am, little duck. I'm just nervous for my first day at school."

"You? Nervous? You sound almost like I used too!" Prim laughs. I laugh too, before walking over to Prim and giving her a false stern look.

"What do you mean used too?" I question before tickling my sister.

"Katniss! Stop it-" Prim squeals whilst Buttercup tries to attack my hand.

"Alright you two," my mother comments. She hands us each some squirrel stew before putting away the rest for later.


	2. Chapter 2

As I walk up to school, I feel myself become more and more nervous. I feel like a child leaving home for the first time.

"It'll be okay," my sister says, comforting me.

"I know it will," I smile. As we near the school, I notice more and more people glancing at me. It's okay though. People are allowed to glance. Prim and I have to go our separate ways being as I am in the senior stage of school whilst she is still in junior.

"I'll meet you here when it's home time," I tell Prim before hugging her goodbye. District 12's school is like everything else here, poorly built. According to the Capitol, education wasn't a strong factor which they needed to be concerned about, providing hardly any funding at all for it. Gale would always tell me that the reason why was because the Capitol doesn't want us becoming too smart. The school is split into two sections, one for juniors and one for seniors. It practically looks like the school is ready to collapse at any given second, with cracked concrete and rotten wood supporting the frame of the school.

"Hi Katniss," I hear a sweet spoken girl say to me. I turn my attention to Madge. I always thought of Madge as an acquaintance, but before I was sent to the Capitol for the Hunger Games she came to see me and gave me my 'iconic' Mockingjay pin. You can't not be friends after that.

"Hi Madge, do you know where we're suppose to go first thing? I've forgotten."

"We need to go collect our timetables from our tutors," Madge replies to me. The two of us begin walking towards our tute, Madge leading the way as I seem to have forgotten. The rest of the journey we spend together remains in silence. No questions asked. Just how I like it.

As I enter my tute I notice a sudden hush, I look awkwardly at those in the classroom then back to the ground.

"Katniss, I wasn't expecting you this year," Mr Shorney, my tutor, says. What does he mean he wasn't expecting me this year? Did he think I was going to die in that arena? Surely he must have watched it. He probably thought I'd be too mentally unstable to return, that I'd be afraid of what everyone would say or think about me. Well I haven't for the past 16 years.

"Well here I am," I reply. Mr Shorney gives a brief smile before handing me my timetable. My eyes flick over it quickly to see what I have first. Maths.

"What do you have?" I ask Madge.

"Science," Madge replies with a tone of disappointment in her voice, "I hate Science." I smile, emphasising with her. I hate Math's too.

The bell rings and I'm the first one to leave the classroom. I walk quickly down the hall in hope of not bumping into anyone, or over hearing anyone's conversations. I'm positive that as soon as I left that classroom, it erupted into talk over my mental state and my actions within the Games. I feel someone poke my shoulder before speaking,

"Nice seeing you Katniss." I turn around to see Daniel Hockridge, one of the most popular boys in the school. Well, that's what people think, I've never seen anything appealing about him. He reminds me slightly of Gale; apart from he doesn't have the olive tone skin which many District 12 people have. He's much paler, though his eyes and hair are just as dark as that of Gale's. I give Daniel a quick nod before I carry on walking towards my lesson.

"What's wrong Katniss, Capitol got your tongue?" Daniel states in a rather arrogant tone.

"What did you say?" I ask. A wide smirk spreads across Daniel's face.

"Nothing, just after that little berry stunt I'm surprised that they even let you return to District 12, let alone school." I go to reply, though my mouth fails to make any noise. Daniel gives a short laugh before lifting my chin up slightly with his finger.

"Poor little Mockingjay has lost her voice."

Daniel walks off, leaving me standing frozen in the corridor. I feel physically sickened by what he has said. Gale has never mentioned anything about what happened in the arena to me. I naturally believed that no one was aware of the trouble I was in with President Snow. Well, this hasn't been the first time I've been wrong. I walk into Maths to find that I am the last student to arrive. A large looking lady looks up at me, her name is Miss Partridge,

"Miss Everdeen, please take the spare seat at the back." I do as I have been told quickly, trying to avoid praying eyes which are feasting upon my presence. As I sit down, I allow my eyes to flicker quickly around the classroom, instantly regretting my decision.

As my eyes flicker diagonally across they are met by striking blue eyes which are looking at me with so much intensity. These eyes can only belong to one person. Peeta Mellark. I instantly force myself to look back to the front of the classroom, trying to take in whatever Miss Partridge is saying. I'm failing though to do so. I can feel my insides squirming at the sight of Peeta, my heart rate increasing. I hadn't seen him since the moment we got off the train after leaving the Capitol where I practically confessed to just using him to survive. We haven't spoken since. I blink rapidly to see that Miss Partridge's mouth is moving, her eyes focused on me.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I reply. Miss Partridge gives a loud, unimpressed sigh before repeating,

"At least pretend your listening, Miss Everdeen. Manners are free." I can't help but smiling at Miss Partridge, for a second there she sounded exactly like that of Effie and her obsession with manners. I try to focus in class though my attempts are futile, I can feel Peeta's eyes burning into my skin. What is his problem? I know he hates me, who wouldn't? I used him in that arena to gain sponsors, but I saved his life. I know he was just playing to the cameras too. Peeta's always been better with words compared to me, that's why whatever he says sounds so believable. I hear the bell ring and stare down at my blank piece of paper. I haven't written anything.

I quickly leave the classroom, though I hear Peeta calling my name. I ignore him; I don't want to talk to him, not right now. Not in front of everyone. I know what he'll say, he'll judge me, shout at me, hate me. And he deserves too. The rest of the day seems to go rather quickly up too lunch. I walk into the cafeteria and pick up a tray and stand in a queue.

"Has she really come back to school?" I hear one girl ask her friend in front of me. I feel my body stiffen and my ears prickle at the sound of the sentence, they must be talking about me.

"Yeah, I'm surprised. I thought they were keeping her in lock down or something." Yes, I'm positive it's about me.

"I know what you mean. You know what my dad told me? That it was her who killed that little girl from District 11 but it was too brutal, so they blamed it on someone else. June was her name, wasn't it?" I feel my mouth go dry, my body become limp. I have to say something, anything.

"No, it was Rue," I reply loudly. The two girls turn to face me, their faces mirroring that of the emotion horrified. I slam my tray down hard on the counter and storm out of the cafeteria.

I run quickly out of the school onto the field outside, I can feel the tears prickling my eyes. But I mustn't cry, I won't cry. The school field is rather small; no one tends to go on it, only for Physical Education. I walk down to the bottom and sit under a crowd of trees. No one is around, no one can see me, and so I decide to allow a few tears to fall free. When Gale told me to ignore what people say, I never expected anyone to say something as horrible as that. They didn't even know Rue's name, little Rue. I try not to think about her, because every time I do I can't help but remember the final moment she died.

_"Deep in the meadow, under the willow  
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow  
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes  
And when again they open, the sun will rise." _

I feel more tears prickle my eyes; I allow them to fall once again, covering my face with my hands. After a few minutes I remove them to find Peeta walking towards me. I feel myself chock slightly, I can't run away like I want too, I can't give him another reason why he should hate me.

"Katniss, why are you crying?" Peeta asks me softly. He sits down next to me, handing me a cupcake.

"What is this?" I ask.

"A cupcake. I saw you run out without any lunch. So, why are you crying?"

"It doesn't matter," I reply, "Thanks for the cake." Peeta eyes me suspiciously before shaking his head.

"You'd think after all we've been through you'd trust me." Trust him? After all I've done to Peeta I just want to forget him so in hope I can forgive myself for the pain I may have inflicted on him.

"It's honestly nothing, Peeta."

"Then why are you crying? This has been hard for me too, coming back. Do you know what I heard someone mutter about me earlier?" I shake my head. "That they wished I had eaten the berries because at least that way District 12 would have a proper, respected Victor." I gasp,

"Peeta, that's horrible!"

"I know. Now tell me what's happened."

I give a heavy sigh before telling Peeta about what happened with Daniel Hockridge earlier and also what I overheard whilst in the queue. All Peeta did was put his arm around me and made me feel safe. Like he did when I was in the arena, he made me feel like there's still hope.

"Allow them to listen to vicious rumours, they don't know you."

"Why are you doing this?" I ask.

"Doing what?"

"Helping me. After all I've done to you Peeta, I really don't deserve you." Peeta smiles softly at me, his blue eyes sparkling.

"You really don't know the effect you have on people, Katniss."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"It doesn't matter. I wasn't expecting you to like me let alone love me. Especially with Gale-"

"There's nothing between me and Gale." Peeta gives a small smile before continuing,

"Well the only good thing which came from the Hunger Games is that I was able to form a friendship with you. I'm not going to throw that away because of my own selfish feelings."

I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder spending the rest of lunch in silence, with the odd conversation thrown in. I can't help feel a sense of guilt; did my actions in the arena lead to Peeta forming a stronger sense of attachment towards me? And if so, am I just leading him on? By needing a form of emotional support? As soon as I'm strong enough to support myself I'll just toss him aside and try to forget that he was ever part of my life? I hope not.

**A/N- Please could you leave me a review? :) I'd like to know what you guys think. (This is my first Hunger Games fanfiction ever) **


	3. Chapter 3

I wait by the school gates for my sister, Prim. I feel so relieved that today is finally over. I can't wait to just leave the sight of school and go see Gale once he has finished in the mines, well if he has time to see me. As I look towards the school wondering where my sister is, I notice her walking hand in hand with a boy! My little sister Prim, who's only thirteen years old. Prim catches sight of me and smiles; she seems somewhat amused by my reaction. She kisses this boy on the cheek quickly, they're already kissing! and walks over towards me.

"Hi Katniss," Prim smiles.

"Who was that?" I ask straight away.

"Who?" Prim replies, she's actually trying to play dumb with me!

"That boy obviously. How come you've never mentioned him before?"

"Well I haven't had a chance," Prim answers, "You were away for two months and when you returned-"

"-You felt like you couldn't trust me enough to tell me?"

"No Katniss," Prim exclaims, close to tears, "I didn't want you thinking that I didn't care that you had gone by meeting Sam." I feel a twinge of guilt plunge inside of me; I have just accused my own baby sister of not trusting me just because she hadn't told me about some boy. I hadn't told Prim about Gale till at least 3 months after meeting him.

"I'm sorry Little Duck. So, his name is Sam? How did you two meet?"

Prim smiles at me and we begin walking home. She met Sam whilst I was 'away'; he was in her classes at school and after the reaping offered support to Prim. He had lost his older sister to the games just three years before. Prim tells me that at first it was just nice to have somebody to speak too, being as she knew she couldn't with mother.

"You'll have to bring him around for dinner one night," I suggest.

"No, we hardly have enough food for the three of us," Prim answers. I roll my eyes,

"I can always catch more food, Little Duck. And I'm sure I could chip into my winnings." Although I am technically rich from the earnings which I have received from the Hunger Games, I choose not to use the money. I save my money and give it to those who need it most in District 12. That is one of the only good things which came from the Games, being able to give those who are on the brink of starvation food, money and support.

"How was school?" Prim asks me.

"Terrible," I admit, "I didn't expect for people to be talking about me so much."

"Well you're like a celebrity," Prim states, "When you were away the District was literally split into two. Team Peeta and Team Katniss." I'm surprised by what Prim tells me, we haven't really discussed life during the time I was 'away'. I've been so focussed on the reaction of other Districts towards me being in the Games, I've forgotten to consider what my own District's reaction was.

"What did people do when Peeta and me did the berry stunt?"

"Shocked," Prim answers, "Some thought it was brave, the majority of us didn't. We all knew you didn't like Peeta in that way, well I thought you did."

"What made you think that?" I reply in confusion. Prim gives a small laugh.

"It was when they said that people from the same District could both win and you pretty much shouted Peeta. You seemed like you genuinely felt relieved that he could be safe."

"Of course I felt relieved, Peeta is my friend," I mention.

"It seemed more than friendship," Prim replies unconvinced.

After dinner, I walk over to Gale's house to tell him how my day at school went. It's weird thinking that I'm still at school whilst he is now working at the mines. Gale's house isn't nothing much, it's slightly larger than mine but that is because his family is larger than mine. I see Hazelle, Gale's mother, washing up in the kitchen through the window. She catches a glimpse of me and smiles widely, she opens the door too me and allows me inside.

"Katniss, how lovely to see you. Gale is upstairs; he's just gotten home from work. You can go up if you like?" I smile and nod my head and go up to Gale's room.

I knock on the door faintly, before a tired looking Gale opens it. His eyes widen in surprise and delight when he sees me.

"Catnip, what are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd come see you and tell you how my first day back went," I reply. I walk into Gale's room to find his two younger brothers, Rory and Vick sitting in there.

"We'll leave," Rory states, leaving the room with Vick.

"I haven't much space to breathe anymore," Gale admits once his brothers leave the room, shutting the door, "If I'm not enclosed in those cramped tunnels in the mines, I'm enclosed in this cramped place I call a home." I notice a look of sadness in Gale's eyes as he focuses on the floor, his eyes then flick up at me and a smile spreads across his face, "I just miss being able to go hunting whenever I wanted."

"Me too," I reply, unsure of what else to say. I sit on the end of Gale's bed, looking around the cramped bedroom. Those in the Capitol would be disgusted and shocked to learn that Gale and his two brothers all sleep in the same room.

"So, how was school?"

"Terrible," I reply. Before I know it, I'm telling Gale everything what had happened, but I don't allow myself to cry… I also avoid telling him what happened with Peeta.

"Daniel Hockridge? I know him; he lives near the Blacksmiths doesn't he?"

"I'm not sure-"

"I'll make sure he pays for what he said-"

"-No Gale, please leave it," I reply frantically. I feel slightly sick, I don't need or want Gale fighting my own battles, and it will only create more talk about me. Something which I do not want. Gale looks at me, noticing how concerned I look and agrees to leave it.

"Did you see Peeta today?" Gale then asks me.

"He was in my Maths lesson, why?"

"I'm just wondering," Gale replies. I look at him curiously; Gale doesn't just 'wonder' that's one thing I know for certain. Gale's mind works in complex ways; he is forever asking questions to help him assess a situation in more detail. "Did Peeta speak to you?"

"Not really, he looked at me. That's all."

"How did he look at you?" Gale questions.

"Why does it matter?" I reply with frustration, "He's the only friend I have at that school." Gale and Peeta have never gotten on, there seems to be this underlying jealousy between the two of them, and I'm stuck in the middle. I think Gale can tell how frustrated I am becoming because he changes the subject.

"Will I be seeing you in the woods tomorrow morning for an early hunting session?"

"I don't think I have the actual energy too," I admit to Gale. I notice the disappointment in his eyes, "Fine, but if I fall asleep at school I'm blaming you." Gale smiles widely at me, a smile so beautiful which I can't help but smile just as wide back at him. That's one thing I love about Gale, just his presence makes me happy.

I begin to walk home from Gale's house but before doing so I decide to visit Haymitch in VictorsVillage. I've only seen Haymitch once since the Games have finished, and even then he was probably too drunk to remember. As I walk into the village, I feel an eerie sensation overcome me. All the houses which have been built are deserted, apart from two. Peeta's and Haymitch's. I walk up the paved path to Haymitch's house and knock on the front door. I hear a smash of a plate and a few curse words muttered before the door opens.

"Hello Sweetheart, finally decided to visit?" Haymitch slurs from the doorway once he realises who I am. He's not too drunk which surprises me. He invites me inside, where the stench of stale alcohol and filth feels my nostrils. I try to prevent a gag as not to seem too rude.

"It was your first day of school today, wasn't it?" Haymitch asks me whilst he locks the door.

"Yeah, it was really stressful… wait, how do you know?" I question. I hear a noise come from the kitchen, I walk in that direction to find Peeta sitting there with a tray of cupcakes. I feel my stomach squirm under the sight of him, why do I always feel like this when around him?

"Unlike you Katniss, Peeta actually bothers to visit me once a week. You think you would too after I basically saved your life," Haymitch states. I feel my stomach twist into a knot at what Haymitch says; now I remember why I don't visit him. He's so arrogant.

"I only visit you to make sure you actually bathe," Peeta comments. I grin at his comment before sitting down next to him.

Haymitch comes and sits on the opposite side of the table, looking at both of us intensely before speaking,

"You two don't look very in love." I feel uncomfortable with this conversation, especially with Peeta sitting right next to me.

"We don't need to pretend anymore," Peeta answers, "The Hunger Games are over." Haymitch rolls his eyes,

"And I thought you two were actually smart. I told you that the Capitol wasn't happy with you two, do you really think Snow would stop watching you once the Games were over?" I wait for Peeta to answer, to say something smart like he normally does, but he falls silent. And I know why, because Haymitch is right.

"Well I've hardly left the house since I've returned," I try to justify, "That's why me and Peeta have hardly seen each other."

"But you have enough time to go hunting with Gale?" Haymitch points out accusingly. I feel my face go slightly red before I narrow my eyes.

"How do you know that?"

"How don't I know that? Sweetheart, you've never been the best at covering up your tracks. You two are openly seen going into The Hob." I feel myself fall sick, the thought that maybe President Snow may have been watching me with Gale. The thought that he may be invading my only place of freedom in the world, my only place and time of happiness.

"Well all I'm going to say, the Stars-crossed Lovers act hasn't ended. If anything, you two are being watched more than ever. I would have thought you two would have been smart enough to realise that for yourself," Haymitch sneers whilst pouring himself a drink. I look over at Peeta in hope of reassurance, but all I see is the same emotion which I must be expressing too. Fear. Haymitch eyes us up suspiciously before gulping back his drink in one go and then pouring himself another glass.

"What happens if we don't play up to this little act?" I ask, rather fearful of the answer. Haymitch gives a small shake of his head, not looking at either I or Peeta in the eye before replying,

"Simple. Snow will kill both your families."

**A/N- Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. Please could you leave me a review on this chapter too? I really enjoy reading your lot responses :)**


	4. Chapter 4

I feel Peeta grab my hand instantly, as if trying to provide a form of support to me. I look at Haymitch before laughing, I don't know why I'm laughing, I know he isn't joking. I stop laughing when noticing the concerned expressions on both Peeta and Haymitch's face.

"Looks like you need a drink, Sweetheart." Haymitch suggests, handing me a glass.

"No, Katniss doesn't drink," Peeta instructs, pushing the glass away.

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do," I glare at Peeta before I take the glass. I take a gulp of the dark liquid and feel the back of my throat burn instantly. I shudder at the taste, how does Haymitch manage to drink this stuff so passively? I take another gulp and that sense of fear with inside of me suddenly starts to change into a warm sensation. Now I know why Haymitch drinks this stuff. It's a miracle healer. Within minutes I have finished my glass and am asking for more. Haymitch simply laughs whilst Peeta is clearly becoming annoyed.

"Why don't you have a glass?" Haymitch asks, noticing Peeta's facial expression of disgust.

"Someone needs to be sober enough to walk her home," Peeta scoffs.

"Good, make sure you two seem in love whilst doing so," Haymitch orders. With that sentence, the sense of brief relief which I had created through alcohol vanishes at the remembrance of what's going on.

"I don't know how to act," I mutter, with a slight slur in my voice. Peeta looks over at me, giving me a pitiful smile.

"You were pretty convincing when we were in the arena," Peeta answers. I feel guilt plummet my stomach once again, I'm growing accustom to this feeling. I take a gulp of the alcohol which Haymitch has topped up, hoping to now get rid of this feeling. Who does Peeta think he is judging me so harshly? I notice Haymitch looking towards the clock, leading to my eyes flickering over it to notice the time. 9:30pm.

"I need to go home," I slur, standing up from the chair but stumbling slightly.

"I'll walk you back," Peeta adds.

"No, I can do it by myself," I reply. Haymitch simply shakes his head,

"Peeta, go with Katniss." Peeta nods his head before taking hold of my hand.

As soon as we walk out into the street, I am slightly glad that Peeta is with me. The streets are already pitch black and no lamps have been lit due to the District trying to save the little electricity which they have.

"I don't appreciate those comments you say about me," I find myself saying to Peeta. He looks at me in slight confusion, well I think it's confusion I can barely see his face, before replying,

"What comments?"

"About how I was acting in the arena."

"I didn't mean to insult you; I was trying to comfort you. Katniss, I totally understand the circumstances you were in… still are in." Peeta replies softly. I can't help but feel stupid for ever thinking that Peeta would purposely try to insult and hurt me. He's too nice, my boy with the bread.

While walking back, I don't even realise that I have been shivering until Peeta puts his arm around me. The contact and contrast of his hot skin against my cold is sensational.

"You're freezing, Katniss" Peeta comments with concern. He pulls me in closer where I find myself resting my head against his chest. I don't know whether Peeta is performing to what Haymitch has instructed us too, it's so hard to know being as there are no cameras around… well I don't think there are.

"Why don't you live in VictorsVillage?" Peeta asks, "We could be neighbours."

"I don't like what the houses stand for," I reply honestly.

"I know what you mean. I don't want to live there, but I just can't stand living with my mother anymore. She seems somewhat disappointed that I came back from the Hunger Games."

"I think your exaggerating, Peeta. I'm sure your mother is delighted that you are alive," I argue. My tone of voice sounds less sincere due to the content of alcohol within my system. Peeta laughs lightly, drawing a pattern on my arm with his finger.

"I wish you'd move into the village, I'd come round every morning for sugar," Peeta smiles.

"Sugar? Out of all the things you could come round for, you'd come round for sugar?" I laugh. Peeta laughs too, still drawing on my arm. I try to focus on what he's drawing, but my body is too cold and numb.

"Are you okay with us having to carry on this act?" Peeta asks me after a brief silence.

"I don't really have a choice," I reply. It's true; I don't want to have to act like I love Peeta because I know that it hurts him because he actually has genuine feelings towards me. "I'm glad I have to pretend with you though, you're not the worse," I admit. Peeta smiles softly,

"Thanks, I think there's a compliment in there somewhere."

"You're better with words than I am," I argue.

"I just speak truthfully," Peeta answers. I roll my eyes. The rest of the walk remains in silence, though Peeta consists to keep drawing a pattern on my arm. I'm able to make out the letter 'I'.

As we arrive at my house, I sense that Peeta is disappointed; I think he enjoyed our walk.

"Thanks for walking me back," I say. I feel awkward; I don't know what I am supposed to say.

"My pleasure," Peeta smiles. He embraces me in a warm hug, where I find myself burying my face into his chest. Whilst doing so I feel Peeta drawing the same pattern on my back with his finger, though this time I am able to make out what he has written.

_I love you_.

I walk into my house, not saying anything else to Peeta, to find my little sister sitting at the table. Tears in her eyes.

"What's up Prim?" I ask urgently, I feel my stomach twisting into a knot.

"Where have you been, Katniss? It's gone past ten. I've been worried about you," Prim cries. I kneel down in front of her, wiping away her falling tears with my thumb.

"Don't cry. I went and visited Haymitch after seeing Gale. I'm sorry; I should have let you known first. I didn't expect to be there for so long." Prim nods her head before giving me a quick hug and going to bed. I soon follow, I haven't realised how tired I am until arriving home. As soon as my head hits the pillow I fall asleep. Though not into a peaceful dream.

_In my dream I find myself walking into the woods with Gale, we're laughing, smiling. Next minute I know Gale is gone. I'm all alone. I find that I am no longer in District 12 woods; I'm in the arena once again. I'm running, but I don't know what from. I feel my heart rate increasing, my breath shortening, and my mind losing. I keep sprinting and sprinting until I come to an edge of the cliff. I look down to see choppy waves crashing against it._

_"Katniss." I hear a voice whisper. I snap my head back to see Peeta standing behind me, his face is bleeding._

_"Peeta, what's wrong?" He doesn't reply. "Peeta, talk to me!" I cry, desperation is clear in my tone of voice. Still no reply. All Peeta does is slowly, and carefully, raise a white rose into my view of vision. The same white rose which I have seen one man wear far too many times. That one man being President Snow. I feel my throat go dry. I see the desperation in Peeta's eyes. Why can't he speak? I grab his wrist, though his body is cold to touch. Like he is dead. I grab the rose and throw it onto the ground, I then try to pull him, I don't know why. I want to get Peeta as far away from that rose as possible. _

_Suddenly the arena crumbles under my feet and I'm back in the studio with Peeta, Caesar Flickman and a live audience._

_"So the love is still strong 9 months after the Hunger Games?" Caesar asks._

_"Very," I hear Peeta reply, though his voice sounds different, "I don't think anyone has ever said this before but the Hunger Games is the best thing to ever have happened to me." I hear the audience sigh in admiration at Peeta. The camera is then flickered onto me, alongside the entire eyes of the Capitol._

_"How do you feel about the Hunger Games, Katniss?" Caesar smiles. I look to Peeta then to Caesar, about to reply, before I notice someone watching down on me from a private box. President Snow. I stare at him; he stares at me, his eyes etching into my skin. And that's when I see it, President Snow slitting the throat of Prim._

I wake up sweating, my temperature high, I dart my eyes to across the room to find Prim curled up next to our mother. I give a sigh of relief though my heart race is still forever increasing. I try to fall asleep; though I am afraid of what horrors my dreams may posses. When I next wake up, it is to the feeling of my mother nudging me slightly.

"Breakfast is ready," she mutters before leaving the room. I rub my eyes until I feel my stomach drop, it's 7am. I have forgotten to meet Gale in the woods! The common feeling of guilt again washes over every inch of my body. I'll explain to him after school that I was much too tired and that it was nothing personal. I hope he believes me. I have a quick breakfast before I hear a knock at the door. I open it to find Peeta standing there with a loaf of bread.

"This is for your mother," Peeta smiles.

"What are you doing here?" I ask straight away.

"Walking you to school, we need to seem in love remember?" He whispers. I nod my head to show I remember before taking the bread off Peeta and placing it in the kitchen.

"Prim I'm leaving now, are you walking to school with me?" I ask my sister who is still eating her breakfast. From the presence of the bread, Prim is aware that Peeta is here.

"No it's okay, I'll go walk with Sam," she replies. I nod my head before walking out the door.

"Sleep well?" Peeta asks me as we begin walking towards school.

"Not really," I mutter.

"I haven't been able to since the Hunger Games either," Peeta adds. I look up at him and feel a sense of relief, a sense of hope that I am not the only person who has to experience the dreams which I have every night.

"It's just like I can never escape that arena," I whisper.

"You can't," Peeta comments, "But I won't let it harm you." I feel a smile spread across my face before I take Peeta's hand in my own. Not out of force for having to 'act' in love but because I want too. Peeta simply smiles before tightening his grip on my hand. I know it sounds crazy because it's only holding his hand, but by being connected to Peeta I feel somewhat safe and protected. Both from the Capitol and those at school.

As we enter the school, I notice more people taking double glances at us. Shocked to see us together, let alone hand in hand.

"Are you okay?" Peeta whispers to me.

"I'm fine, are you?" I whisper backs. Peeta nods his head,

"Remember, _we_'_re_ madly in _love_, _so_ it's all right to _kiss me anytime you_ feel _like_ it." This comment actually makes me laugh; I hit Peeta lightly on the arm before the bell rings.

"Do you want me to walk you to tute?" Peeta asks sincerely.

"I don't want you being late," I reply. Peeta shakes his head before walking in the direction of where my tute is. Once outside the classroom, I notice members of my tute staring at us through the window in the door.

"Should we put on a show?" I whisper to Peeta. He smiles widely before pulling me into a loving hug. I feel his arms tighten around me whilst mine wrap themselves around his waist. Peeta then pulls away slightly, lifting my chin up with his finger. I stare into his bright blue eyes and I see nothing but warmth in them. I can sense that my tute must be on the edge of the seat, trying to guess what'll happen next, because I'm doing the exact same. Peeta then kisses me lightly on the lips before walking away to his tute. I find myself feeling slightly disappointed, but I don't know why. I walk into the classroom to find everyone staring at me, but this is different to how it was yesterday. They're not judging me. I take a seat next to Madge who seems to have paid no attention to either Peeta or I. I glance down at my timetable to see what I have first. Art. Peeta's favourite subject.

**A/N- Please could you leave me a review? :) I promise that more 'fluff' will happen in the next chapter :D I hope you've enjoyed this one x**


	5. Chapter 5

I walk into my art classroom, scanning the class for striking blue eyes, but I don't see any. I give a small sigh of disappointment before taking a seat at the back of the class. Five minutes into the lesson, the door opens and my boy with bread enters. I feel my heart flip with joy at the sight of him; I think I'm just relieved to have a friend with me. I notice Peeta looking around the class and when his eyes meet mine a warm smile spreads across his face. I return the smile, making space for him to come sit down next too me.

"Why are you late?" I ask.

"I walked to your tute first to see if you were there," Peeta replies. He looks around the classroom before turning his attention back to me, "So what are we doing in today's lesson?"

"Painting what we did this summer," I answer, "I have no idea what to paint."

"Why not paint us talking?" Peeta suggests.

"But I haven't seen you all summer."

"They don't need to know that," Peeta winks. I smile at him before standing up to collect my paints.

The problem is that I am no good with creativity and I cannot paint. So even if I do paint me and Peeta, it won't look anything remotely like us. Ten minutes into painting and I have already had to restart three times. I try to avoid looking at Peeta's painting as I know instantly that it'll look like a master piece, they always do.

"Katniss, do you want some help?" I hear Peeta ask me.

"Is it really that rubbish?" I reply, with a harsh tone in my voice. It must be terrible if Peeta has even noticed!

"No, you just look like you're getting frustrated," Peeta answers. He takes a pencil and draws the outline of two people. "Paint this in, and then begin to add detail." I do as I have been instructed too, trying to allow as little paint to go past the drawn lines. I feel my hands shaking from the pure concentration which I am trying to create, though every time I go to brush the paint against the canvas I hear Peeta laugh.

"Do you mind?" I glare after my fifth attempt.

"I'm sorry, I've never seen you focus so hard before," Peeta replies laughing. I roll my eyes before returning back to my painting.

After half an hour I have finally finished my painting, though it isn't very good. The Art teacher, Miss Wigley, gives a simple smile whilst examining my painting.

"This is an improvement from the work which you created for me last year," Miss Wigley states. I give a small sincere smile, unsure of how to reply. Miss Wigley has never liked me, and to be quite honest, I've never liked her. She doesn't have time for anybody who is useless at art and basically speaks to those people like trash. Miss Wigley then turns her attention to Peeta's painting, a gasp of shock escaping her mouth.

"Peeta, I'm not sure that a young boy of your age should be painting such things of this content." I look over at Peeta's work and my eyes widen in surprise. I was expecting to find a painting of me and Peeta cooking, chatting, laughing, but what I find is much different. It's a painting of me and Peeta, yes, but it is us in the Capitol. Vivid colours are splashed all around us, garish looking creatures peering down at us; I assume they're the people of the Capitol. Yet, with all these colours going on, me and Peeta are simply grey. There is no colour to our body. There is no life. As I examine the painting more, I notice that at the very top of the canvas are a pair of hands holding the strings too a puppet which seems to have become detached. Detached from Peeta and I.

"You told us to paint something which we did this summer," Peeta replies calmly. Miss Wigley looks around her to notice members of the class peeking looks at the painting, masking the same expression which she portrayed when she laid eyes upon it.

"Class dismissed!" Miss Wigley exclaims taking away Peeta's painting.

"Why did you do that?" I ask as soon as I and Peeta are away from praying eyes.

"I don't know," Peeta admits, "I just allow my thoughts to take over me when I'm painting."

"It was a wonderful painting. Horrible images, but wonderful at the same time."

"Thanks," Peeta replies softly, "What do you have now?"

"History. Which means a whole hour of being taught about the Hunger Games," I answer.

"Well I have Science, I'll meet you at break by your locker," Peeta states before giving me a quick kiss and walking to his lesson. History goes quite quickly. I slightly enjoy the awkward eye contact which the teacher and I have every so often whilst he discusses the Hunger Games. I wait by my locker at break for Peeta, though he never shows. I feel slightly disheartened but try to put it to the back of my mind; Peeta wouldn't purposely blow me off, would he? Especially not now when we need to act more in love than ever. But maybe Peeta doesn't care about his family? Sure he loves his father, but his mother? He even admitted to me that he couldn't bear to live with her. And Peeta has never really been close with his brothers. I shake my head of these ill thoughts and walk into the cafeteria in hope of spotting Peeta there. I don't. But I do see Madge sitting by herself in the corner, reading a leaflet.

"Hi Madge," I smile while I sit down next too.

"Hello," she replies not looking up from her leaflet, "Where is Peeta?"

"I don't know. He was supposed to meet me by my locker. What are you reading?"

"This? Just something which my dad gave me." Madge flashes the leaflet towards me where I see in bold writing _'HOW TO PREVENT A REBELLION in five easy steps'_. I feel slightly sick; of course Madge would have this. Her father being the Major of District 12 and knowing full well who his daughter is best friends with, the Mockingjay. "It's stupid," Madge smiles once noticing the look in my eye, "Listen to step four, '_If a friend or family member are showing signs of rebelling against the Capitol, sing the National Anthem of Panem and retell the history of the Dark Days.' _I somehow don't see that being effective." I laugh at Madge's comment,

"I'll have to try that with Gale next time he goes on a rant about the Capitol."

"Oh, do you still see Gale?" Madge asks innocently.

"Sometimes, he's my best friend," I answer. I notice Madge giving me a funny look before returning her attention back to the leaflet. I can't help but wonder whether Madge has feeling for Gale. I remember when we went around hers before the reaping to sell strawberries; she acted rather weird with Gale. Gale also acted weird with her.

The next two lessons till lunch go rather slow, I find that I am unable to pay any attention to the teachers due to all the questions which are flying around my brain. The majority asking where Peeta was at break. These questions are soon answered at lunch when I find Peeta in the cafeteria sitting by himself.

"I'm so sorry about not meeting you at break like I said I would," Peeta says instantly. I smile softly before kissing him on the cheek,

"It's fine. Where were you?"

"Speaking with Miss Wigley and our principle," Peeta sighs, "They think I'm mentally disturbed after what I painted."

"Really?" I gasp, "I thought your work was quite creative." Peeta smiles softly before taking hold of my hand and stroking it,

"They said if I'm to paint anything like that again they'll have to give me a 'mental evaluation'."

"That sounds like fun," I reply. Peeta simply nods his head whilst staring at the table. I can tell that the whole thing is bothering him; I wish I could make him feel better. But I don't know how. I feel like how I did when I was in that cave with him. Useless. It's easier to heal a physical wound, you can see where the damage is, but when it's a mental wound it is so much harder.

"I missed you at break," I admit.

"Did you?" Peeta asks.

"Yes. I didn't know what to do with myself." A warm smile spreads across Peeta's face before he wraps an arm around me, pulling me close into him.

"I promise I'll never get in trouble again so I can spend every free moment I have with you," Peeta whispers. I feel my heart grow ten times in size by the words which Peeta has just spoken. I look into his wonderful, striking blue eyes and kiss him. I think I caught him by surprise because he doesn't instantly react, but when he finally does it's better than anything I could ever have imagined. Unlike the kisses we shared in the arena, this one only makes me hungrier for more. This kiss only makes me hungrier for Peeta. I can't help but smile whilst kissing Peeta, other than when I'm with Gale, this is the only time I've felt truly happy. Where my worries and thoughts about the Capitol are gone. The only thing which matters in this moment of time is Peeta and I. And the entire cafeteria which is watching us. I pull away from Peeta rather awkwardly, blushing slightly in the cheeks. Peeta looks at me simply confused. That's when I remember we're supposed to be acting like we're in love.

**A/N- What do you guys think of this so far? :) Please leave me a review, I really enjoy reading what you lot have to say. And thanks for everyone who has read my fanfic so far! I hope you're all enjoying it! Will update soon x**


	6. Chapter 6

Once school has finished I walk home with my sister Prim and Peeta. Peeta goes to hold my hand and I, though reluctantly, hold it back.

"What's wrong?" Peeta asks me whilst Prim is further ahead trying to pick some plants for mother's medicine supplies.

"Nothing, I'm just tired," I reply. Peeta shakes his head in an unconvinced way before letting go of my hand to help Prim. My eyes follow the movement of Peeta and Prim, though my thoughts drift elsewhere. I'm unsure of why I am acting slightly hostile towards Peeta; I think it was after the kiss at lunch. I don't want to develop any form of feelings for Peeta for I know he will only get hurt. That I too will only get hurt. I could love Peeta but I don't know whether I could ever be in love with him. Especially not where we live. We'd never be happy in District 12.

"Katniss look what Peeta's found!" my sister Prim exclaims, breaking me free from my thoughts. I look down into my sister's petite little hands to see a mouldy, soggy biscuit.

"Lovely," I reply. I don't know what Peeta thinks of me and my family but we aren't that desperate for food.

"No, look at it closer," Prim exasperates in frustration, as if reading my thoughts. I take a closer look at the biscuit to notice that there is a design burnt into the biscuit. Not just any design. My Mockingjay pin design. I gasp, snatching the biscuit out of Prim's hands instantly, leading to the biscuit to crumble.

"Where did you find this?!" I exclaim at Peeta.

"Over by the hole in the fence which leads onto the woods," Peeta replies calmly. I feel a shudder inside of me, what if President Snow placed the biscuit there for me to find? I'm sure he knows that I go out hunting, all of District 12 does. I think that Peeta can sense my worry because he takes my hand and pulls my attention to focus entirely on him.

"You're safe Katniss; I won't let anybody hurt you. Ever." I know it's only words but I do feel slightly more secure, just with the knowledge that someone is aware of what I am going through and that they are willing to protect me. I know that in reality Peeta would be useless if President Snow was to ever attack my family.

"I'll call for you same time tomorrow to walk to school?" Peeta asks me once we have finally gotten home.

"Okay," I smile, "I'm going to visit Haymitch later. Will you be there?"

"I doubt it," Peeta replies, "I never visit Haymitch on Tuesday's. The Hob normally has a fresh batch of liquor and he enjoys intoxicating himself too much."

"Well I could visit you?" I ask. I notice Peeta's eyes suddenly brighten in delight; I can't help but smile at his reaction. I only want someone to talk too; I _need_ someone to talk too. Someone who will understand. Peeta gives me a brief kiss on the cheek before walking home himself.

I decide to go visit Gale after I have finished dinner. I tell Prim that I am going to visit Peeta after as well so I am likely to be late. I don't want her worrying like she did yesterday. I take the normal route to Gale's and just like yesterday I see Hazel in the kitchen washing. When Hazel notices me she gives me a small smile, allowing me into the house.

"Gale is upstairs," Hazel comments, "He seems upset about something so I'm glad you're here." My mind starts to race at why Gale could be upset whilst I walk up the stairs. I knock on his door and after a brief second I am met by the dark grey eyes which I adore.

"What are you doing here?" I hear Gale ask me in a hostile tone.

"I just thought I'd visit you," I reply.

"You could have come seen me this morning in the woods, remember?" I feel my stomach plummet. Of course Gale is upset! I forgot to meet him in the woods this morning like I told him I would.

"I am so sorry, Gale. I had a nightmare and by the time I woke up I had to get ready for school. I honestly didn't mean too forget. It wasn't deliberate," I plea. I feel like I have to beg for forgiveness based entirely on the look which Gale is giving me.

"I don't even care about that, Katniss." Gale replies harshly. I know he's mad at me; he only ever calls me Katniss when he's annoyed.

"Well what's wrong then?"

"You really don't know?"

"Of course not!" I exclaim. I feel slightly annoyed by his question; does Gale actually think I'm playing dumb with him? Gale takes one final disgusted look at me before turning his attention to a crack in the wall.

"My brother told me something interesting today," He mentions. I don't choose to ask what that was because I am pretty certain Gale is going to tell me. "He said at lunch he saw you and Peeta…_kissing_." The way in which Gale says the word 'kissing' makes my stomach twist into a knot, like he is purely disgusted in me.

"I-I can explain," I stutter slightly.

"What's to explain Katniss? You like Peeta, it's fine. I wish you would have told me though instead of pretending you never wanted to see him again."

"No, it's not like that. I do like Peeta but as a friend-"

"-You like me as a friend but you've never kissed me?" Gale questions. I look at him in confusion; I don't know how to respond.

"I have to act like I love Peeta, you know that. Just because I'm not longer in the arena doesn't mean that the Capitol hasn't stopped watching me." There's a brief silence between me and Gale, where neither one of us makes direct eye contact. Finally Gale speaks, though I wish he never said anything at all.

_"I love you Catnip."_

I don't know how to respond, I never knew Gale felt this way about me before. Sure, I've thought that maybe he likes me more as a friend at times, but never love me. "Are you going to say anything?" Gale adds after my extended silence.

"I don't know what to say," I admit. I notice Gale's eyes dimming slightly with disappointment.

"That maybe you love me too?"

"You're my best friend Gale. I love you but I don't know if I love you in that way." Gale simply stands up, opening the door for me to leave, avoiding eye contact.

"Well come find me when you know." I walk out of Gale's room and quickly out of his house in hope of avoiding conversation with Hazel. I walk out quickly onto the deserted streets of District 12, tears stinging my eyes.

My mind is racing from the face of Gale to the face of Peeta. My heart is torn in two. I love Gale, yes, but am I in love with him? Honestly, I don't know. I know I always feel happier around Gale, regardless of what mood I could be in. Gale and I are so alike; there's been a basic chemistry from the start. But Peeta and I? That's a different story. We're forced to act like we're in love, and maybe through this act I am becoming confused between what is true and what is false. My own selfish need for support and protection is what drives me to Peeta, the emotional stability which he is able to provide me. But Gale provides me with a burning passion of confidence, of independence. As I stand there thinking of the reasons for why I love both Gale and Peeta, I begin to become more and more disgusted with myself. For every reason I state isn't based on their personalities but it is based solely upon how Gale or Peeta benefit me in one way or another. I make myself sick.

**A/N- Thank you for all the reviews so far :) Please could you leave me one for this chapter, letting me know what you think/ where I could improve/ what you like? :) I promise that there will be more fluff in the next chapter! x**


	7. Chapter 7

I begin to run towards the fence separating District 12 from the meadows. I listen closely to see if I can hear the faint buzz, I don't. I crawl through the gap and sprint towards the overcrowded trees which I see in front of me. I don't care if any Peace Keepers see me; I don't care if I'm out here till past curfew. I feel like I'm running towards my freedom. As soon as I submerged by the over grown bushes and branches of trees, I allow myself to pause for breath. Once I stop breathing heavy I collect my bow and arrows and run my fingers over it. Over each groove and chip. I decide to walk deeper into the woods today, towards the lake where my father used to take me when I was younger. I've never taken Gale there, I'm unsure of why. I just feel like it's a private place where only my father and I shall ever know of. Once I finally reach the lake I take off my boots and dip my toes into the, not so crystal clear, water. But I don't care, it's perfect to me. Whilst my toes are in the water I allow my mind to wander through old memories between my father and me. There's one in particular which I can't help but laugh out loud at when I remember it. When I first shot an arrow.

It was my seventh birthday, Prim was only young and so stayed at home with my mother. My father and I went out hunting like we normally do; though this time he decided that I was old enough to try using a bow an arrow. Normally I just watch my father in awe, so I jumped at the chance. I remember holding my father's bow in my little hands, his was much bigger than the one I have now, and I was shaking. I was really nervous that I would end up breaking it. I shot the arrow, hoping to aim at the tree like father had told me too, but instead it completely missed. I almost started crying, I felt like I had disappointed my father. That was until we discovered that the arrow I had shot had hit a deer! The look on mother's face when we dragged that home.

I feel my eyes begin to droop, heavy from the lack of sleep which I have had over the past few days, months even. But I'm not ready to return to that District, not just yet. I know that slightly ahead of me is an old abandoned house. Well, it's not really a house because it's just one room, but whatever it is, it will do for the night. I hope Prim doesn't worry about me too much. I push open the door into the 'house' and find myself greeted by unexpected hosts.

"I'm sorry I thought this was abandoned!" I exclaim straight away as my eyes register two figures. My heart suddenly drops when I realise that these figures which I am looking at are Peacekeepers. Their guns have suddenly shot up at me, aiming at my chest and brain. I feel my mouth go dry.

"Are you Katniss Everdeen?" I hear the smaller Peacekeeper say, their voice sounds so informal.

"Y-yes," I stutter. The two Peacekeepers drop their guns to the floor. I'm confused as to why. The two Peacekeepers then begin to remove their uniforms, revealing the faces of a young girl around my age and an adult woman.

"We've been running for days," the older woman states, "We've escaped from District 8."

"What do you mean _escaped_?" I question straight away.

"Don't you know what's been happening?" the younger girl gasps. I look at them both in confusion, am I suppose to know? The older woman pulls out from her pocket an old biscuit and offers it to me. I go to reject her offering before I notice the marking on her biscuit. My Mockingjay.

I learn that the older woman's name is Twill and the girl my age is Bonnie. They escaped from District 8 in risk of the uprising rebellion which has occurred since Peeta and I had left the Hunger Games arena. People from District 8 believe that these two individuals are dead.

"We've been running for days, we're so tired," Twill states, "We're hoping to get to District 13 soon."

"District 13? That doesn't exist anymore," I mention in confusion.

"Of course it does. It was destroyed during the Dark Days but they've built a new, safer district underground," Bonnie chimes in. I look from both Twill and Bonnie, slightly unsure of how to respond.

"Even watch footage of District 13 if you don't believe us," Twill adds rather frustrated with my silence. "In the corner of every peice of footage which the Capitol shows us you see the same Mockingjay flying by. It's obvious isn't it? It's the same piece of footage being used. The Capitol is too scared to go there." As I sit here, listening to the tales of 'District 13' I can't help but sense that the pure desperation for hope is what has driven Twill and Bonnie to believe in such a far fetched idea. After what seems like hours of speaking I say my final goodbyes to the two and wish them luck on their travels. Meeting them had made me forget entirely of how tired I was. That is until I begin walking on my own once more.

As I journey through the woods my mind keeps replaying the encounter with Twill and Bonnie, the looks of hope and desperation scrawled across their innocent faces. And it's my fault. I'm the main cause of this uprising which is happening in District 8, and what am I doing about it? Nothing. I've been too focused on everything going on between me, Gale and Peeta…_Peeta! _I begin running now, instantly forgetting how worn I am. I barely pause long enough to check whether the fence is live or not, luckily it's not. I run quickly towards VictorsVillage, slipping every so often on the ice which is beginning to develop on the ground. I run up the path leading to Peeta's house and begin thumping on the door.

"Peeta!" I shout a tone of desperation is hidden in my voice, "Peeta please open up!" Almost instantly the door is opened to reveal the alert, striking eyes of Peeta.

"Katniss what's wrong? What's happened? Are you hurt?" He asks urgently.

"I'm fine, can I come in? I need to tell you something," I reply. Peeta nods his head, allowing me inside his house before locking the door. I have never stepped foot in Peeta's house before. I am hit instantly by the warmth of the house. I never realised how cold I was. Although it has the same layout as Haymitch's house, Peeta's is much cleaner. The only aroma which lures the air is that of freshly cooked bread. No stale alcohol, thank God. I glance over at a clock to see the time. _12a.m._ Prim must be worried sick.

"So, what do you need to tell me?" Peeta asks, offering me a chair which I take.

"I've just been in the woods and I bumped into two people. They're from District 8."

"What are they doing here?"

"They're running away to District 13, they believe that some secret city exists underground there."

"I've heard that before," Peeta replies calmly. I look at him in disbelief, how can Peeta not be worried sick right now? Unless he doesn't realise what this means.

"Peeta, there's been an uprising in District 8."

"I know."

I feel slightly disgusted by Peeta's depth of knowledge, he knows about the uprising? How? For how long? Why hasn't he ever told me?!

"Haymitch has told me," Peeta states, as if answering my questions which are drifting around within my brain.

"Why hasn't he told me?"

"You never visit."

"Why haven't you told me?"

"Haymitch told me not too. He doesn't want you doing something stupid-"

"-What worse could come from what I do, Peeta?!" I shout, "I've already created an uprising!"

"You haven't created anything. You sparked people to take control of their own lives," Peeta replies. I glare at him, I feel suffocated by his presence. I feel like Peeta has been disloyal to me. We're in this together, he should have at least told me.

"I wanted to tell you, Katniss. It was Haymitch; he made me promise not to tell you. He said that you'd be more likely to get hurt if you knew. That biscuit I had found earlier, I had actually made myself. Haymitch told me that those willing to rebel were using stuff like that as a symbol. I was trying to give you hints."

"I thought Snow had left it for me," I admit. Peeta let's out a small laugh which makes me smile slightly. I do feel slightly relieved to know that it was Peeta who had left the biscuit.

"I couldn't imagine President Snow in a chef's hat now, could you?" I give a small laugh before leaving the two of us to fall silence once more. Peeta looks at me rather awkwardly before he repeatedly glances over to the door then back to me. I bet he wishes I'd just leave.

"Do you want to stay the night?" Peeta asks rather quietly.

"What?" I question. I'm confused, I'm positive that he was hinting at me to leave.

"Well it's late; I don't want you walking back in the dark. We'll leave early in the morning to beg for Prim's forgiveness."

"Yeah sure," I reply. Peeta gives me a sweet smile which makes my cheeks feel warm. I'm still mad at him though, but his smile makes it so hard to do so. Peeta shows me to the bedroom where I can sleep. It's so big. Well, everything about each house in VictorsVillage is big.

"You'll be fine by yourself, right?" Peeta asks me as he tucks me into bed.

"Yes," I reply slightly amused. He reminds me of a concerned parent.

"Okay, I'm just next door if you need me. Night Katniss," Peeta smiles before kissing me lightly on the forehead.

"Night," I croak because I'm too tired to speak properly. As soon as Peeta turns out the lights my eyes full shut, allowing me to drift away into my dreams.

"Katniss, wake up!" I hear Peeta shout at me. My eyes shoot open to reveal the face of an exhausted Peeta. As soon as I am awake I can feel the hot temperature in my face, my sweaty forehead, my racing heartbeat.

"You were screaming, I didn't know what to do," Peeta comments, answering my confused facial expression. I look at Peeta; I sense how hopeless he must have felt watching me be in pain. I felt the same with him when we were in the cave.

"I must have been having a nightmare, thank you for waking me," I reply. Peeta lies down next to me in the bed, wrapping his arm around me, pulling me in closer to him. He would always do this for me when we were on the train heading from district to district. It would always comfort me.

"Make sure you're here when I wake up," I mutter, resting my head on Peeta's chest.

"I promise," Peeta comments whilst untying my braided hair and running each loose strand through his fingers. There's something relaxing about somebody playing with your hair whilst you're trying to fall asleep. You just feel safer, more protected; like that somebody is watching over you. Like Peeta is always watching over me. I fall asleep to the feeling and contact of Peeta's flesh of his chest against my cheek. I fall asleep to the striking blue eyes of Peeta looking down on me, smiling. I fall asleep to the overall image of Peeta. And that night I have the most peaceful sleep I've had in months.

**A/N- Please could you leave me a review? :) I promise to update soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you awake?" I hear Peeta whisper. My eyes flutter open to see the sight of Peeta's striking blue eyes.

"I am now," I smile, "What time is it?"

"Six," Peeta replies, "I don't think school will be on. There's practically a blizzard outside." I get out of bed and pull back the curtains to check whether what Peeta is saying is true or not. It is true. The ground looks like an untouched white sheet. The site which is District 12 has been transformed, for a brief time, to a winter wonderland.

"What's that?" Peeta asks, peering out the window too. I feel him wrap an arm around my waist, slightly pulling me in closer towards him.

"Where?" I reply.

"There," Peeta points, drawing my attention to a black object drawing imperfection to the once pure white snow, "It's moving." I stare closely at the object before both I and Peeta gasp at the same time.

"Haymitch."

We run outside, Peeta slightly quicker than I, to be greeted by the drunken mess which is Haymitch.

"Haymitch, what's wrong?" I ask, crouching down next to him.

"He's unconscious, Katniss." Peeta replied, lifting Haymitch into his arms like a baby. I feel sickened by the sight. I know that Haymitch enjoys drinking but this is ridiculous. Peeta carries Haymitch inside his house, placing him into the kitchen. I notice that Peeta starts taking away Haymitch's damp clothes and I feel slightly awkward by the sight.

"Nothing new here," Peeta smiles, "I've had to bathe him before."

"Lovely," I reply trying not to look, "Why are you taking away his clothes?"

"To make sure he hasn't frost bite," Peeta answers simply. I feel slightly stupid for asking these naive questions, my mother is a healer so I should know.

After ten minutes Haymitch begins to wake, though he isn't very happy when greeted by the sight of us.

"You could have answered the door last night!" Haymitch spits.

"A good morning to you too," I reply sarcastically.

"Shut it sweetheart," Haymitch glares. I glare back at him, neither of us saying a word.

"Why were you passed out, outside?" Peeta asks. Haymitch draws his attention away from me to Peeta.

"Fetch me a drink, something strong." Peeta does as he is told, fetching Haymitch a bottle of spirit which he keeps stashed away in case Haymitch ever runs out. We both do. Haymitch opens the bottle with ease, drinking straight from the bottle. "Effie phoned me yesterday."

"What's wrong with that?" I ask. I know Haymitch and Effie never see eye to eye but I wouldn't have expected to find him passed out because of it.

"If you'd have let me finished," Haymitch spits, as if reading my thoughts, "She's heard news from the Capitol. They're going to be holding the Hunger Games sooner this year."

"So some kids gets sent to their death quicker, what's wrong with that?" Peeta questions.

"It's the Quarter Quell." Both I and Peeta's mouths fall open at the same time. The Quarter Quell is what happens every 25 years. The founders of the game have written various cards for hundreds of games, each card involving a certain twist to provide more 'interest' and 'excitement' to the games. My mother told me that the last Quarter Quell, each district had to send two boys and two girls to the arena.

"Well why are you so worried?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady. I'm afraid of Haymitch's reply.

"Don't try play dumb, sweetheart. You know as well as I that the Capitol are mad at you two. I wouldn't put it past Snow to make it so this Quarter Quell affects you two the most."

"What do you mean?" Peeta asks straight away.

"Let's just say don't be saying goodbye to the Hunger Games just quite yet."

I'm unable to sit still that entire day. I'm not 100% certain whether school is on or not. I don't care. I have bigger things on my mind. Haymitch has said that there will be a special announcement from the Capitol tonight. Guarantee it'll be declaring what the Quarter Quell is this year. Peeta has left me alone in the house, he has gone to fetch Mother and Prim so they are able to watch the announcement on his television. I know that Prim must have been worried sick for me; I hope that when I see her, her eyes will not be bloodshot from crying. I stare out the window, looking at the footprints leaving the house which Peeta had created when he left the house. The once tranquil wonderland which District 12 had been hours before has now, easily, been destroyed.

I walk into the kitchen, looking around, trying to find something, anything to do. I know that Peeta enjoys decorating cakes; perhaps I could bake him a cake. He'd like that. I set up the ingredients and begin cooking. I instantly feel a sense of delight from the minute I begin cooking. I love the sound of the egg cracking against the bowl's edge. It isn't long until my mind drifts back to the Quarter Quell and what horrors lie inside the envelope which shall be opened tonight. What if I have to go back into the arena? Or worse. _Prim_. The smell of burning instantly wakens my mind to reality, I race over to the cooker, taking out the black brick which was suppose to be a sponge cake. I leave it on the side to allow it to cool down and go for a quick nap, hoping that when I wake up I will be greeted by the sight of Peeta and my family.

"Katniss," I hear someone whisper. My eyes flutter open to see Prim looking at me. Her eyes are bloodshot."

"Hello Little Duck," I smile. Prim instantly wraps her arms around me, burying her face into my torso.

"I thought you were hurt," I hear her say, though it is muffled.

"I'm sorry Prim. I was just so tired and practically fell asleep as soon as I sat down in Peeta's kitchen." I reply. Prim looks up at me, her big beautiful eyes filled with tears again. I wipe one away from her cheek before kissing her gently on the forehead.

"Where's mom?"

"She couldn't come. There have been quite a few injuries due to the snow so she has to stay and look after the patients." I nod my head with understanding before heading downstairs with Prim. We enter the kitchen to find Haymitch slouched in a chair, drinking freely from a bottle of wine. My eyes drift to Peeta whose face shows nothing but pure concentration whilst he decorates a cake. My cake.

"You actually made my cake look respectful," I smile. Peeta glances up at me and smiles, his face brightening up.

"I suppose the 'Girl on Fire' likes to make sure that her food is practically on fire too," Peeta laughs. I can't help but laugh too. A genuine laugh. This is the happiest I've felt all day. I sit down in front of Haymitch, allowing Prim to sit on my lap. I notice how she watches Haymitch in fascination, I must admit, I did too when I first met him. I've never seen anybody drink so much.

"When's the announcement?" I hear Prim ask. Haymitch looks up at her, slightly surprised by her eagerness.

"Six." Both I and Prim's heads dart towards the clock, it's 5:45. 15 minutes.

In the lounge there are only two chairs. Haymitch sits in the one which is the furthest away from the television whilst Prim sits in the other. Peeta, being the guest, insisted on sitting on the floor. I, too, insisted on sitting on the floor. I didn't want Prim sitting on me whilst I find out whether either her or I will be being sent to our deaths. Peeta sets the cake which he has decorated in the middle of the room. It is bright yellow and has been decorated like a dandelion. I have told Prim that she can't eat any of it. Not yet. Not until after the announcement. As soon as the clock strikes twelve, the television flashes on playing the national anthem of Panem. Caesar Flickerman appears, his pearling white smile blinding me. This year Caesar doesn't have his bright blue hair and eyebrows, instead they're a dark shade of red. As if he was on fire.

"Good evening Panem! Tonight we have a special announcement from President Snow declaring the rules for this year's Quarter Quell!" the audience which Caesar speaks in front of erupt into an excited cheer. I feel sickened. "For those of you who don't know, the Quarter Quells marks the anniversary of the districts' defeat by the Capitol, and includes special celebrations." Queue another sickly round of applause alongside a dazzling smile by Caesar. "So Ladies and Gentleman of Panem, may I have the honour of introducing to you President Snow!"

The camera shows a shot of the crowd who are on their feet screaming with joy. I feel my stomach tighten alongside a grip on my hand. I look to my left to see Peeta sitting right next to me, his hand holding onto mine. I turn my attention back to the television to be greeted by the grimacing face which can only belong to one person. President Snow.

"Thank you, thank you. We are here to announce and witness the third Quarter Quell in the history of the Games. I shall not keep you in suspense any longer," President Snow declares. He is then handed a box in which Snow pulls out a yellow card. A lot like the colour of the cake which Peeta has created.

"This year's Quarter Quell shall consist of the latest victors from each district being a tribute alongside having to choose two fellow tributes from their district to enter the arena alongside them. One boy and one girl."

Haymitch turns off the television, silence fills the room. Not even Prim dares to cry. Not yet. I turn to Peeta to see him already looking at me.

"We're fine. You'll be safe. You've won it before."

"But we have to choose two others to come in with us. Send them to their deaths."

"We'll draw names out of a hat. We'll choose the oldest. We'll choose the strongest." I feel a tear prickle my eye but Peeta pulls me into a hug, protecting my tears from the sight of Prim.

"Prim's going to be safe, Katniss. She's going to live. You're both going to live," Peeta whispers to me. A tone of determination in his voice. Peeta wasn't making a promise, he was stating a fact.

**A/N- Sorry for the long update, I've been really busy. Please could you leave me a review? And I promise to update soon :)! Could you let me know what you think of the story so far and how I could improve or what you would like to see happen in the story too? :) Thanks! x**


	9. Chapter 9

"Katniss…?" I hear Prim choke. I am suddenly snapped back into realisation of what has just happened, what is still happening. I feel sick, distraught, weak.

"Let's not waste this cake. Who wants a slice?" I chirp.

"I do," Peeta replies just as happily. I suppose that's how we'll have to cope. By acting like nothing has changed. I notice Prim's face dim with confusion though Haymitch simply gives me a small nod of respect. We eat the cake which Peeta has decorated so magnificently, though it still doesn't draw away from the fact of what a terrible cook I am. The cake literally tastes like burnt ash inside my mouth. Though I suppose anything would taste rancid to me at this period of time. I have, practically, just found out I'm being sent to my death.

Whilst washing the dishes there's a knock at the door, Peeta goes to answer it whilst I focus my attention on cleaning. I'm pretty certain of who it is anyway.

"Catnip." I hear someone whisper to me. I'm wrong; I thought it was my mother.

"Gale, how did you know I was here?" I ask straight away, turning around to face him. My eyes focus entirely on Gale, though I can see the shape of Peeta lingering in the background.

"I went to your mother's first before finding out you were here. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I reply.

"Katniss, you can talk to me."

"Can I?" I question rather irrationally. I dart my attention away from gale for a split second to Peeta who, sheepishly, looks away. Peeta leaves me and Gale alone in the kitchen.

"You don't understand, Gale. You haven't been in that arena. You don't know what it feels like-"

"-To what? To know that you could die at any second? I live like that every single day, every single second I am in those mines, Katniss. Your case is more extreme, yes but I had to live every day whilst you were in the Hunger Games, fearing for your life. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep." Gale's eyes are looking at me with so much intensity I can't help but feel a strand of guilt.

"I didn't think I'd have to go back in," I admit.

"You won't be alone this time."

"I know, I'll have Peeta."

"And you'll have me."

I feel my heart plummet into my stomach, my knees become weak, my eyes prickling with the tears which I have been holding in for far too long.

"You're not going in there, Gale. I won't let you. I'm not going to offer you to the Captiol, you'll die!"

"I know I will but I want to protect you, Catnip. That's what was so terrible about last time that I could only watch. That I was helpless to help you. Even if you don't pick me, I'll get Peeta too."

"Gale, you can't protect me. I told you that the Capitol is watching me… well it's more serious than that. I wouldn't be surprised if they want me dead and that's why I'm going back into the arena. I'm not going to sacrifice you. It's me they want dead, not you." I'm determined not to let Gale go into that arena. Nobody that I love or care for. Especially not Gale. Not my Gale. Though the problem with Gale is that he is just as stubborn as I am… but this isn't some petty argument about who gets to have the left over of a kill… this is life or death. Gale looks at me, his dark eyes showing only one emotion. Sadness.

"Katniss, I'm entering the Hunger Games. I don't care what you say. If you die I want to die. My life is nothing without you."

"You have a family to support. You can't just throw your life away for me!" I exclaim, I'm slightly shocked. Gale has always based his life around his family, yet here he is in Peeta's kitchen, declaring to give his life up with me.

"They'll survive. They can have yours and Peeta's winnings which you've received so far, put it in your Will," Gale smiles. I smile too, though I don't know why. Perhaps out of confusion. Out of emotional fatigue. Or maybe out of simple amusement.

There isn't really much left to say between Gale and me, I know there's no changing his mind. I look up at Gale and give him a kiss, _our first kiss_. I don't know why. It's spontaneous. I don't care for Gale, not in that way, I don't think. But I just know that a kiss would be a greater way of thanking him than actually saying the words themselves. Gale reacts naturally, cupping my face in his rough, miner hands. We both hear a cough come from the door, leading to us pushing away from one another. Standing there is Peeta; he can't make eye contact with either of us.

"It's getting late, are you staying the night or are you going home?" Peeta questions.

"I best be going," Gale replies. Peeta nods his head; I sense his question was more directed at me. Gale and Peeta have never really gotten on.

"I need to take Prim home but would I be able to stop the night?" I ask. I want to explain to Peeta what he had just witnessed and I need to talk to somebody who will understand my pain. I also know that tonight my nightmares shall reoccur in more vivid detail and it's only Peeta who can't stop them. Again, Peeta simply nods his head before leaving the room.

"I'll take Prim home for you," Gale offers.

"Thank you," I smile. Gale returns my smile before giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead and leaving the room. I lean over the kitchen sink before turning on the tap and throwing some cold water in my face. In hope of finding out that this is all a dream. But, my attempts are forever futile.

I say a goodbye to Prim; I'm surprised that she hasn't cried. Well, not in front of me. My Little Duck has certainly matured over the space of 10 months. She hugs me tightly before leaving, as if thinking this is our final goodbye, which it's not. For now. Haymitch leaves with Gale and Prim, taking his aroma of stale alcohol along with him. The door closes between the trios, leaving the house to fall silent.  
"I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed," Peeta announces. I feel confused, lost as his hostility towards me. I don't know why. Am I selfish for constantly needing the support of either Peeta or Gale? Am I just exploiting the feelings of the two boys closest to me for my own selfish gain? Maybe. But who cares? I'll be dead in a month. All of us will.

"Peeta, let me explain what you witnessed," I hear these words escape my lips. Peeta stops in his tracks and turns around to face me.

"You don't need to explain anything, Katniss. I know that we're just an act and that you care for Gale. You don't need to apologise for that."

"But I don't care for Gale… I mean I do, but not in the way that you're thinking." Peeta gives me an unconvinced smile.

"He's volunteered to go into the arena with us. I kissed him as a form of gratitude," I state. I feel like I am pleading with Peeta to believe in my reasoning, for him to care for me as much as he did before he saw Gale kiss me.

"Gale's coming into the arena?" Peeta questions. I nod my head. "But that's suicide."

"I know, I've told Gale this but he seems set on his decision." Peeta looks at me, there's not as much sadness in his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I reply rather coldly.

"Well all we need to choose now is a girl to go in the arena with us and we're set," Peeta states.

I don't understand how Peeta can be so calm about this. He hasn't shown any signs of anxiety or fear about re-entering the arena. He's just so calm. I feel slightly mad at Peeta, jealous almost. My mind is racing from the thoughts of never seeing Prim grow up to the thoughts of me perhaps witnessing the death of both Gale and Peeta.

"How can you be so relaxed about this?!" I exclaim rather hysterically. Peeta looks up at me before shaking his head,

"Because then there'd be nobody to reassure you that everything will be fine."

"But everything isn't fine!" I reply without really thinking. Perhaps I should have created a false idea of hope for Peeta, the same way in which he is for me.

"You'll be fine. Gale is coming into the arena with us. That's two people who will do anything to keep you alive."

"I don't want to be kept alive, Peeta. Especially if by keeping me alive, both you and Gale sacrifice your life. I'm not allowing it," I reply. I walk past Peeta, not making eye contact and walk up the stairs to the bedroom before slamming the door. I don't know why I am mad, all is Peeta wants to do is keep me alive. Perhaps that's why I am mad because Peeta is just too nice. He's even willing to sacrifice his life in the hope of that I'll live. A girl in which he has, supposedly, been in love with his entire life. But why? I've never gone out my way to be overly nice to him. I haven't done nay grand gesture which deserves me this mass amount of support and protection. I haven't given Peeta the correct treatment for him to give up his own life for me.

I take off my clothing from the day, placing them on the floor. I look out the window at the 'winter wonderland'. The snow has melted, the white and purity has been transformed into grey slush. I suppose I should go to school tomorrow but I don't really want too. What's the point? I'm going to die. I won't need education where I'm going. I shut the curtains and lie on my bed. Staring up at the ceiling. Imagining I was somewhere else, anywhere else. And then my thoughts fall to the previous encounter of the two runaways of who I met yesterday. Telling tales of District 13 and how they hope to start a new life there. I envy them. It's too late for me to run away to some place without 100% certainty of whether it exists or not. It's too late for the childish innocence of which Gale and I used to share when we would joke about running away together in the woods.

It's too late to have any shred of hope. I, Katniss Everdeen from District 12, am going back into the Hunger Games. And I, Katniss Everdeen from District 12, will die.

**A/N- Sorry for the late update. I promise the next will be sooner! I've been busy :) I'm loving your guys reviews, please could you leave me some more? :D **


	10. Chapter 10

The next few days pass me by in a blur. I don't know what is real or not anymore. I feel as if my whole entire body is filled with tracker jacker venom. My dreams are distorted by my fears, my reality is distorted by my fears, my fears are distorted by the Hunger Games. It's Monday morning and today is the Reaping for the Hunger Games. Peeta and I haven't seen each other since the night we knew we were going to die. Gale has come around a couple of times but I simply get Prim to answer, telling him that I am too ill to talk or that I am out in the woods. I don't want to see his face, neither of their faces because I know that in a short time, they'll be dead. And so will I. I get mother to braid my hair like she did last year for the Reaping. I remember how much Cinna loved it. Both mother and I remain quiet. Her hands are trembling whilst doing the final braid; I wonder if she knows my fate just as well I do?

"Where's Prim?" I ask.

"She's gone around Sam's house. Prim would just get upset so I've told her she could see you at the Reaping." I nod my head to show that I understand before falling silently back into my thoughts.

It's 12 o'clock already, I check my reflection in the mirror one final time before kissing my mother on the cheek. Prim still isn't home yet; I assume that she'll be waiting for me in the crowd at the Reaping. I step out of my house to the hush silence of District 12, the whole district is walking, marching almost, to the town square. The children don't look as presentable as normally, perhaps because they're aware that I wouldn't choose them. Especially not the young. I feel somewhat sick, as if the collar of my dress is slowly suffocating me. The thought that I will be sending two individuals to their deaths, it's horrible. How the Capitol could do it for entertainment I'll never know. As I walk towards the town square, I notice more and more people avoiding my eye contact. Perhaps they are afraid that if they acknowledge me I will decide to volunteer them as tribute.

I register once I arrive at the Reaping, allowing the Peace Keeper to abstract some of my blood from my index finger. I am too numb from emotion to even acknowledge the little prick on my finger. It is only until a Peace Guard physically moves me that I am aware. I stand my place in the crowd, scanning for a little duck tail, for a little duck, for a little sister. But I can't see her. The national anthem of Panem suddenly begins to play, vibrating the fragile ground of the town square under our feet. A burst of colour suddenly appears within my visual field and I can't help but smile. Standing on stage, bright neon orange wig, is Effie. She looks out onto the crowd, somehow spotting me and giving a small smile.

"Welcome! Welcome! Happy 75th, Quarter Quell Hunger Games and _may the Odds be ever in your favour_! Now, before we begin, we have a special message brought to you all the way from the Capitol!" Effie exclaims in delight, one of her eyelashes is slowly falling off her left eye. The flat screen suddenly lights up, showing the traditional propaganda video. Whilst everyone watches the screen my eyes once more glance around the crowd, hoping to see my little sister. I don't.

A small cough given by Effie draws my attention back to the stage where she stands proudly.

"I just love that! Now I would like District 12 to give a loud round of applause to your Hunger Games winners and, once again, tributes Miss Katniss Everdeen and Mr Peeta Mellark!" The applause given is faint, half-hearted, yet I still seem to struggle to hear. Blood is pounding in my head and I am unable to focus properly, yet it seems that my legs have been automatically programmed to walk towards Effie. To walk towards the neon orange. I meet Peeta mid journey and he grabs onto my hand. I'm unsure of whether he is acting; we do still need to act like we're in love or, whether, he needs just as much support as I do. Once we are on stage the applause stops all together and Effie gives both Peeta and I a hug. The smell of Effie fills my nostrils; it is as if she has bathed in cheap, lingering perfume. Effie gives us each a Capitol smile, though her eyes resemble the emotion of sadness. Effie returns to speaking to the crowd,

"For the Quarter Quell this year your District Winners have been given the fantastic opportunity on choosing who of you will also be able to represent District 12 in the Hunger Games!" Effie chirps. Fantastic opportunity? This has been the worst decision of my life. Effie pulls out two small pieces of paper from her pocket, each having a name written on it. I look to Peeta in confusion; we haven't told anybody who we were volunteering. Not even Haymitch. I suddenly feel the presence of three Peace Keepers next to Peeta and I.

"I think we shall have gentlemen first this year," Effie declares unfolding the piece of paper, "The tribute which Miss Everdeen and Mr Mellark have volunteered as tribute is Gale Hawthorn." The doors to the JusticeBuilding open and a Peace Guard walks Gale out. Gale gives a small smile to me before walking towards Effie.

"Your District tribute, Gale Hawthorn!" Effie exclaims, guiding Gale over towards Peeta and I. Again, the applause given by the audience is faint. Effie begins to unforld the next piece of paper,

"The tribute which Miss Everdeen and Mr Mellark have volunteered as tribute is…"

**"Madge Undersee"**, I say out loud within my head, filling in the pause which Effie has created.

"_Primrose Everdeen_!" Effie announces, her voice no longer as full of enthusiasm as it was for Gale. The whole crowd turns silent. I haven't registered what's been said until I feel someone's hands holding me tightly and Peeta yelling. I have flash backs of the Reaping from last year, the protective, family instinct swelling with inside of me.

"THIS HAS BEEN FIXED! WE NEVER CHOSE PRIM!" Peeta yells. I'm suddenly back in reality, I feel a form of rage fill up inside of me, I'm aware that there is a Peace Guard holding me firmly back.

"PRIM!" I scream out, "NO!" I start pulling away from the Peace Guard, Peeta's shouting words which I didn't even know existed and the ones I did know, I'd be punished for saying. The JusticeBuilding's doors are opened and my little sister walks out, my little duck, my little Prim. The whole crowd begins shouting, noticing the look of disbelief within my eyes and Prim's.

"PRIM," I scream, my voice breaking slightly. She's crying. I'm meant to protect her! I push even harder, trying to break free from the Peace Keeper. Peeta gets pulled off stage as he becomes more and more aggressive. Gale, he remains silent, shocked by the whole outcome. I feel disgusted by the sight of him. I bite down on the hand of the Peace Keeper, breaking free from his clasp and running towards my sister.

"I didn't volunteer her!" I shouted at Effie, "Madge Undersee, Madge Undersee, you're this year's tribute. You've been volunteered! Well done! Come up! Claim your prize!" I scream at the crowd. My eyes lock with Madge and she mouths sorry to me. Peace Keepers pull both me and Prim off stage, leaving Effie to try calm the distressed crowd.

"GET OFF ME!" I scream as I get carried into the JusticeBuilding. The Peace Keepers simply ignore my screams as I am separated from my sister once more. I am thrown into a room where Peeta is waiting for me.

"Peeta! Peeta we have to do something, we have to save her!" I cry, my words breaking up. Peeta simply engulfs me into a hugging, allowing me to cry silently into his chest.

"I know Katniss, I know. What they have done is… is exactly what someone like President Snow would do," Peeta replies, kissing the top of my head. I can sense the anger in his voice, the anger which I wish I could show instead of crying. "They wont hurt her," Peeta adds.

"You can't promise that, Peeta."

"Yes I can," Peeta replies with forcefulness. I look up at Peeta, his eyes are just as watery as mine, though he won't allow any tears to escape.

"Thank you," I whisper.

At that exact moment the doors open to where Effie enters, her mascara running, false eye lash from the left eye missing.

"How dare they?!" Effie shouts, "How dare they speak to me in such way, as if I was to know that-"

"-Where's Prim?" I interrupt.

"Primrose? She's in the room next door, with that _'Gale'_ is it?"

"I need to see her," I reply.

"You will. They're just explaining to her and Gale what shall happen from here forward. This will be a wonderful opportunity for Primrose, Katniss. She'll get to see the Capitol! Be given such beautiful dresses. And, best of all she'll-"

"-Get to die in the Hunger Games, in front of the eyes of thousands of people, all for their entertainment," Peeta interrupts bitterly. Both I and Effie are taken back by Peeta's outburst, Effie gives a small cough,

"Not necessarily, you two both survived, didn't you? We'll be leaving in five minutes."

"Don't I get to say goodbye to my Mother?" I question in confusion.

"Oh no, there isn't anytime for that," Effie replies before leaving the room.

My mouth goes dry. I won't be given chance to explain to Mother that I never volunteered Prim as tribute. Worst of all, Prim won't be able to say her goodbyes to Mother.

"We're going to be okay," Peeta comments, placing his hands on my shoulders, turning my attention to him, "We're going to live."

"We can't all live Peeta!" I reply in disgust.

"You and Prim will live," Peeta corrects.

"I'm not letting you risk your life for me, not again," I state, "Peeta. I don't want you dying for me… just, _please_; promise me that you'll keep Prim alive."

"I promise," Peeta whispers, placing his forehead against mine.

The doors open once more, where two Peace Keepers enter, guiding both Peeta and I out of the room, out of the building. Into the back of a vehicle where Effie and Haymitch are waiting for us. But no Prim or Gale.

"They're arriving within another vehicle," Effie states, noticing both Peeta and mine's questioning eyes. The door to the vehicle is shut and we begin to move.

"Listen sweetheart, I know what has happened is terrible but you can't be entirely surprised this has happened?" Haymitch says to me. He's right. When I heard Prim's name being called out I felt shocked. But not surprised.

"Can't something be done? It's been fixed," Peeta questions, anger rising within his voice.

"Because the Hunger Games have always been fair, haven't they?" Haymitch states.

"They are fair," Effie interrupts, "The reason for why the Hunger Games is set out the way which it is, is because-"

"-Cram it, pumpkin." Haymitch snarls. Both Peeta and I smile slightly by Haymitch's comment, he turns his attention back to me. "Now here's what you do. You've got to act like that you aren't bothered by this. That this…_hatred_ you are feeling will only fuel you to perform even better within the arena."

"I don't want to act, I'm going to die anyway," I reply.

"Just do as I say. We'll discuss tactics later… when we're in a more private place," Haymitch says, raising his eyebrows at both Peeta and I.

I don't understand what Haymitch means, but I don't understand a lot of stuff at this current moment of time. I'm surprised by how calm I must seem to the world, I think I am still in a state of shock. I convinced myself that Prim would be safe, that she would be kept alive. To know that I was wrong is devastating. I am also disgusted at the reaction which Gale presented at the Reaping. Gale has always cared for Prim, often in the same way which a brother would for a sister. He knows how much I love her. Yet, when her name was announced, Gale remained silent. He must have thought that I did volunteer Prim as tribute, that I obviously wanted her in the arena, that I wanted her to die.

But Peeta, Peeta was different. Peeta was speaking the words which I wish I could have shouted. Peeta showed the anger which I wish I could have presented. Peeta revealed the love he had for Prim which I wish Gale would have.

**A/N- I'm really liking the direction of where this story is going, I didn't originally plan for this to happen when I first started writing. That's what's so great about FanFics, anything can happen! Thank you for all the reviews so far, please could you leave me another one, letting me know what you think of this story and what you would like to see happen? :) Thanks for reading! Don't forget to 'follow' this story if you haven't already x**


	11. Chapter 11

Peeta and I board the train which shall take us to the Capitol, I feel as if I am reliving last year all over again. We go into a room where we find both Prim and Gale.

"Katniss!" Prim exclaims, her eyes bloodshot from tears. She runs over too me and I engulf her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry," I cry, constantly kissing the top of Prim's head, "I'm so sorry. This was never supposed to happen." We remain silent for two minutes, simply hugging one another and crying quietly. I give Prim one final kiss on the head before letting go of her.

"What have they told you?" I ask whilst Peeta sits down in a chair. I sit down next to him, placing Prim on my lap. Gale remains standing. Silent. He hasn't even said hello to me.

"We're going to go to the Capitol where we shall train for two weeks. Katniss, I can't do anything, what am I going to do?" Prim questions in upset.

"We'll find something you're good at, Little Duck." I reply, trying to hold back my tears. Prim is right. She's not very good with anything physical such as hunting or running. That is why it was always father and me who went out hunting, never Prim.

"You're a good healer," Gale states. I look up at Gale, I haven't heard his actual voice in what seems like years. It sounds hollow compared to the voice which was so full of life only days ago.

"Yes, you're an excellent healer," I add, "You've kept Lady alive for all this time."

"But how will that help me in the arena?" Prim cries.

"You'll be a valuable ally to anyone," Gale answers, "And you've got all us three looking after you."

"Really?" Prim chokes, trying to stop her tears.

"Yes," Peeta replies, holding onto Prim's hand. Prim gives a small, faint, smile.

I send Prim to bed early that night; she was both emotionally and physically exhausted from the day. I walk into the lounge where both Peeta and Gale are sitting, talking. They haven't noticed me.

"I have to protect Katniss," Gale replies to Peeta.

"She doesn't need protecting. It's Prim who needs it," Peeta states rather harshly.

"I'll protect them both, I won't let anyone hurt them. Katniss and Prim are my life," Gale says. I feel my heart warm slightly towards Gale, at the words which he is saying, the passion in his voice.

"Then why didn't you say anything earlier at the Reaping?" Peeta scoffs. The exact question which I have been thinking when not thinking about Prim.

"What was I going to say Peeta? Do you think they'd really have done anything? And fair enough you might not care for your family and they might not care for you, but I love my family. If I was on that stage, running my mouth, do you really think they wouldn't have harmed my family as a form of punishment?"

Gale's right. How could I be so naïve? Peeta and I, we're losing nothing. The only things I care for have been brought with me to the Hunger Games. But Gale, Gale still has a life outside of the Games, he has a family.

"They'll punish your family anyway, it's the Capitol. Do you really think that they'll send some tributes into the arena and just let us decide who will live or die? The winner has already been chosen," Peeta states harshly.

"I never thought that. I know exactly what the Capitol is like," Gale replies just as harshly. A silence develops between the two and I decide to make my presence known, to make it seem as if I had just entered the room.

"Prim fell fast asleep," I state, sitting down in between Peeta and Gale on the sofa.

"She's had a hard day," Gale replies.

"I remember when it was you last year who fell fast asleep the first night," Peeta says softly. I give a small smile towards him before looking out of the window. Watching the trees flash by. How I wish it was I who was in those woods. Hunting. Running. Living.

Haymitch and Effie enter the room, Effie is now fashioning a neon blue wig, neon must be the latest craze in the Capitol. Effie was smiling, like normal, though her lips were somewhat pursed. Haymitch, on the other hand, looked more stone faced than usual.

"We've found out who the other tributes are," Effie declares, it is only then that I notice she is holding a clipboard in her hands. I assume that on it contains the list of tributes.

"Who are they?" Gale asks eagerly, sitting up right.

"Why does it matter? You're going to have to kill them either way," Haymitch replies, sitting opposite us in a chair. He pulls out a flask from his jacket pocket and unscrews the lid. He notices the peculiar looks which both Peeta and I must be giving him as he lifts up his flask, as if saying _'Cheers'_, before taking a heavy swig.

"I think District 12 has a really good chance in winning this year," Effie interrupts, "Not very strong tributes have been chosen."

"Well they must be strong. At least half the tributes have won it before?" Peeta questions.

"Yes, but none of them won it as cleverly as you two did," Effie replies. I have to hold in my need to laugh at Effie's futile attempts to try bringing false hope to Peeta and I. There will only be one winner this year and it will be Prim.

"From District One, Cashmere, a not very pretty girl, and Gloss, hasn't nice hair, were the winning tributes chosen. Mid twenties, you're much quicker and smarter than they are. They then chose two seventeen year olds to join them. Diamond and Joshua." Effie stated. Haymitch snorted at her comments before taking another swig out his flask.

For an hour Effie listed each and every tribute from each and every district, picking out flaws with each and everyone. Ranging from their physical physique, _"Brutus from District 2 is strong but he can't move as fast in his age," _to the tributes actual mental physique, _"Finnick from District 4 is attractive, very attractive, but he's gone in the head. He'll be weak."_ That night I struggle to get to sleep, my brain is analysing every little detail which Effie has told me. Trying to imagine the faces which belong to the 20 names which I learnt today. I also can't help imagine what other mentors have told the tributes about me. _"Katniss from District 12 is weak, aim for her sister." "Katniss from District 12, she can use a bow and arrow well but I doubt she'll be given one this time round." "Katniss from District 12-"_

"-Katniss?" I hear a little voice squeak, breaking me free from my distressing thoughts.

"Hello Little Duck," I smile to Prim. Even in the dark I can see that Prim's face is wet from crying. Prim crawls into my bed, curling up like a ball. I wrap an arm around her, wiping lose strands of hair away from her face.

"I'm scared," Prim says. This is the first time me and Prim have had a chance to speak properly about the situation which we are in. This is the first time me and Prim have had the chance to speak properly to one another in months.

"I am too," I admit. Prim grabs onto my arm which is holding her.

"You won't lose me will you? In the Hunger Games? You'll make sure you're always with me? Promise?"

"I promise. You don't even need to doubt such a thing," I reply. I'm somewhat disheartened that Prim would even need me to promise that I won't leave her. The grip on my arm loosens slightly, though Prim doesn't entirely let go.

"You can sleep in my bed tonight," I whisper, giving Prim a gentle little kiss on the head. Prim doesn't reply, she simply nods her head before falling silently asleep. I decide to stay awake that night, I know that tomorrow we shall arrive in the Capitol and I shall be both emotionally and physically exhausted anyway. I'm also afraid that if I go to sleep I will awake Prim to the sound of my screams. So I stay away, convincing myself that I will protect Prim away from the dangers which lurk in the nigh time like I used too when she was younger.

"Peeta's nice," I hear Prim whisper after a brief silence.

"What?" I question.

"Peeta. He's nice," Prim repeats.

"I know, he's a good friend," I smile.

"How about Gale?"

"What about him?"

"Do you like him?"

"Of course I do. Gale is…well Gale's, Gale," I reply.

"But do you like, like him?"

"I don't really think now is the perfect time for me to work out my love life," I answer. I feel Prim laugh lightly at my comment before saying,

"Now is the perfect time because you may never get another chance." I absorb every word which Prim says and I suppose she is right. Prim, she will live, I know she will. She'll be able to go back to Sam and spend the rest of her life with him if she wanted too. But me? I'll be dead by the end of this month. I won't have the chance to ever experience true love. My little sister has really matured over the past 9 months.

Prim once again falls back asleep. I feel slightly empty without her company. I know that Prim is right next to me but her mind isn't. Her mind is in the land of dreams, exploring the depths of some wonderful world which can bring her internal happiness. And here I am. Awake. In the land of reality. The land of fear. The land of death. After half an hour of feeling like this I decided to get out of bed. I wonder the empty corridors of the train, though we are travelling 200mph, the train runs silently and smoothly. I walk into the lounge to find that someone else is also awake. Gale.

"Can't sleep?" I question as I walk in. Gale looks up, I think I awoke him from deep thought as he looks confused.

"I'm not tired. Can't you sleep?" Gale replies.

"I'm not tired," I answer. I sit down next to Gale, looking at the blank wall which he was previously looking at. Neither of us says anything. We allow the silence to wash over us. We haven't spoken properly in days. I miss Gale. I miss his voice, his touch, his love. I just miss Gale. Does he miss me?

"Prim's being so brave," I mention, breaking the silence.

"She must take after you," Gale replies.

"She must take after you more like. Prim has always looked up too you, you've been like a father figure to Prim these past few years."

"No I haven't."

"Yes you have. You've always been there for Prim whenever she's been upset or hurt. You've been amazing to her."

"Katniss, please be quiet-"

"-Why? It's true."

"Because I've let Prim down, that's why!" Gale shouts.

I stare at Gale, shocked. I think he is also shocked by the sudden outburst of emotion which he has just portrayed. Gale's eyes, his tired, hollow eyes, look away from me and focus back onto the blank wall. Guilt completely fills my body, all the negative judgments which I've created about Gale. Gone.

"You haven't let Prim down, you never could," I reply.

"I should have said something. Anything. I was in shock. I didn't know what was going on, my mind just went blank. I'm an idiot. I thought that by coming into the Hunger Games I'd be able to keep you alive but when I saw Prim step out, my mind exploded. How am I meant to keep you alive when there's now Prim to keep alive?" The tone in Gale's voice almost makes it seem as if he is pleading. Not just with me but with himself. Trying to convince himself that the reason for why he didn't say is reasonable. Which it is. I rest my head on Gale's shoulder, allowing him to wrap his arm around me.

"I think Prim was in shock too, she wouldn't have noticed you not saying anything." Gale gives me an unconvinced smile before turning his attention back to the blank wall.

"What are you looking at?" I question, pulling myself in closer towards Gale.

"The wall," Gale simply replies.

"I know that but why? There's nothing too it."

"Exactly. I can create my own world, my own destiny on that wall," Gale answers." I look at the wall before looking back to Gale and laughing. "What's so funny?"

"You. I think you've lost your mind," I smile. Gale smiles back. A genuine smile. My stomach summersaults, my heart sings out in joy all because of his smile. And before I know it, I lean in and kiss him. I kiss Gale. Not out of gratitude, not out of pity, but out of spontaneous desire.

But when I kiss Gale, I don't feel the same type of feelings which I do with Peeta. I don't feel the warmth, the protection, the love. I just feel Gale. We pull away at the same time and a smile spreads across Gale's face. I smile back before going to bed. As I walk into my room, Prim is still sound asleep. I crawl in next to her, wrapping my arm around my little sister, protecting her. My mind then falls back to what just happened. Yes, Prim thinks it would be a good idea for me to figure out my love life, but I don't. I'm naïve to even consider that was a good option. Gale will die soon, Peeta will die soon, I can't allow myself to get that close too them. Prim gives a little snort in her sleep, fidgeting slightly. I begin stroking Prim's forehead, making soothing sounds to calm her. I'm still amazed at how calm I am being over the whole outcome of the reaping. I think I am still in a state of shock because my body just feels numb. I have mentally shut away the thoughts of the arena, protecting both I and Prim from the realistic thoughts of what may happen in there. I have accepted the fate of both Peeta, Gale and I but I haven't accepted that of Prim. I am convinced that she will survive. But there's still a doubt, a horrible, soul destroying doubt, which is telling me to stop thinking like such an idiot. The Capitol has sent me into this arena. The Capitol has sent Prim into this arena.

My doubts are telling me that the reason for this is, is so I can watch Prim, my little duck, die before my very eyes. And then the Capitol will kill me.

**A/N- I didn't want to bore you guys with all Katniss's emotions so I threw in some Gale. Is that okay? Unless you'd like a chapter where I focus entirely on Katniss's thoughts? (Which I think the next chapter will be). Anyway, I really enjoyed the reviews which I gained from the last chapter so I was really excited to write this one (and the nexts ones after!) So please could you leave me another review, telling me what you like/dislike? Thanks :) x**


	12. Chapter 12

I don't fall asleep, well not properly. I think there's a period of time where your body naturally takes short sleeps, even if you're not aware of it. Either way, I don't knowingly allow myself to sleep. There's a constant battle going on within my mind to keep my eyes open, to not allow them to drop. I'm somewhat grateful to have this sort of mindless activity to keep my mind at ease; otherwise I think I would have broken down by now due to the circumstances which I am in. Every minute, every second I am on this train the realisation that I won't be coming back is hitting me. The realisation that Prim may not be coming back is killing me. My little sister is curled up in a ball next to me; I don't know whether she is actually asleep. I hope she is. Every so often I'll hear a whimper then a sudden spasm of her body movements. That's when I know she must be asleep. Her dreams must be full of her darkest fears, darkest horrors which link to the Hunger Games, and I can't protect her. I promised myself that I would protect Prim from the Hunger Games the moment she was born. And I have failed.

For it is my own selfish needs, acts, to survive that has gotten me into this circumstance in the first place. I should have allowed those savage dogs to rip me apart when I had the chance. If I had then Prim, Peeta and Gale would be mourning my death, not on this train being sent to theirs. I have never felt these emotions before, the last time I felt this uncontrollably numb was when farther died. When he died it felt as if a massive part of my life had been ripped out of me. I felt like that for all the time farther had been with us I walked around without a care in the world. Then the moment he was gone, my whole world crumbled, innocence was gone. I didn't have a chance to mourn as my mother fell into extreme depression. She barely spoke, she barely ate, she barely breathed. Mother would just sit in the kitchen, looking out the window. Waiting. Waiting for farther to return. He never would. I had to take control, Prim was only young; someone needed to hold the family together. So I became the 'man' of the house you could say. I didn't cry, I didn't have time too.

Now here I am, protecting my sister in her sleep. I haven't time to cry, to acknowledge my fears. I was selfish earlier, kissing Gale. A moment of pure naïve weakness. I just needed something, anything, to take my mind off the Hunger Games. I remember when I was in the cave with Peeta, I would sometimes forget I was in the Games. I think that's all I wanted, for someone, anyone, to make me forget. I've been considering to resorting to Haymitch's way of dealing with pain, by drowning it through alcohol. It wouldn't be difficult to get my hands on it. It would make the games more interesting, having a raging alcoholic luring around. Trying to shoot an arrow yet end up shooting it at themselves. Brilliant entertainment. Prim gives another body spasm. She is the reason why I can't drown my fears. She is the reason why I can't be weak. Prim, beautiful Prim. I remember when she was first born I hated her. I was jealous. Farther spent more time with Prim than me. Even from a young age I have been selfish. But seventeen years later Prim is now my life, I couldn't live without her. Mother fell into deep depression when farther died, I easily could have done the same if it weren't for Prim. I'm still rather bitter that mother allowed herself to get into that state, not once considering her children. Some said my mother was ill, not physically but mentally. I, on the other hand, just found her selfish. Mother like daughter.

It's 8am and Prim awakes from her sleep. She rubs her eyes before stretching out her hands.

"Good morning Buttercup," Prim smiles, her eyes still shut. The moment her eyes open her smile is wiped off her face. Realisation suddenly dawns on my sister of where we are. Prim begins to cry.

"It's okay Prim," I say, pulling my her into my chest, hugging her protectively.

"But- Buttercup- won't- know- where- I- am!" Prim cries in between fast gasps. Typical. Prim cares more about that cat than she does herself.

"I'm sure mother will tell Buttercup where you are," I reply.

"Do you think so?" Prim sniffles.

"I do. Now come on, let's have some breakfast. We need to fatten this little duck up," I reply, tickling my sister. Prim laughs, though it is forced. But a forced laugh is better than no laugh. The two of us get dressed and enter into the section of the train where food is available; already Peeta, Effie and Haymitch are sat at the table, talking amongst themselves.

"Good morning!" Effie exclaims, giving both Prim and I a Capitol smile. Prim returns the smile and sits down next to Peeta. I think she is slightly scared by the appearance of Effie and to be honest, so am I. Effie's 'neon blue' hair has suddenly changed to a neon green and yellow beehive. To make matters worse, Effie's eyelids are coated in a heavy, tacky, vibrant pink powder. Those from District 12 don't know much about fashion so maybe that is why we will never understand the fashion of the Capitol.

"This must all be very exciting for you, mustn't it Primrose?" I hear Effie ask. My stomach knots at the sound of Effie's over enthusiastic voice. How dare she ask such a thing to my sister? The way in which she addresses Prim by her full name, the same way which she has declared it for the past two years. _"Primrose Everdeen"_. I dig my nails into the table at the thought. Screw her mahogany.

"I don't know," Prim replies innocently, "It's still a shock to me."

"Well, don't go letting your sister have all the glory now," Effie smiles giving a small wink. I go to open my mouth to say something; I can feel that protective instinct overcoming my body once more. The same instinct which a cheetah has when needing to protect its cubs when they are in danger. But before I can say anything, Haymitch has already spoken.

"Yes sweetheart, you should really listen to this…I don't even know how to describe you today. That is quite an ensemble you have on. But, getting to my point, you should definitely listen to this fruit basket. Kill your sister. Don't let her get all the glory."

"Haymitch-!"

"-That's what you were telling her to do, Effie! Or have you forgotten what the rules of the Hunger Games are?"

My mouth falls open slightly, how dare Haymitch speak so bluntly in front of my sister. I look to Prim who's eyes have filled up with tears. She pushes herself away from the table and goes back to her room.

"I know you two hate each other but don't you dare speak in such a way in front of my sister again," I spit.

"Shut it sweetheart. From the start I have always been honest with you and Peeta; I never stepped on eggshells, did I? And look where that got you. You won the Hunger Games." I don't bother replying to Haymitch, I push myself away from the table and go find my sister.

It takes an hour before I am able to calm Prim down. Or at least stop her from crying anymore.

"We're going to be arriving soon; you don't want your face to be all puffy from the tears do you?" I ask whilst braiding Prim's hair. She shakes her head like a little child. But that's all Prim is really. A little child. A little child being forced to play a big kid's game. A knock comes from the door, I'm paranoid about whether I should open it or not.

"Who is it?" I call. If it is Haymitch or Effie I'm not opening.

"Peeta." I give a small sigh of relief, so small that even Prim wouldn't be able to hear it. I walk over to the door and open it slightly, just so I am able to make sure that neither Effie nor Haymitch are with Peeta. As I look through the small crack I have created in the door, my eyes are met by the startling blue which belong to Peeta.

"They're not with me," Peeta states, "Can I come in?" I open the door, allowing Peeta to come in before shutting the door quickly.

"I should hire you as security," Peeta smiles. I laugh slightly at Peeta's comment. Since Peeta and I won the Hunger Games, it wasn't unusual for Peeta to have love letters, parcels or even fans end up at his house.

"You look very pretty Prim. People will be fighting over you to sponsor you," Peeta comments.

"What's sponsoring?" Prim asks with naivety, whilst blushing slightly at Peeta's compliment. Peeta looks towards me, slightly shocked.

"Haven't you been explained the rules?" Prim shakes her head.

"She doesn't need to know, Peeta. She's only 13! We'll protect her; all she has to do is stay with us."

"But Katniss-"

"-No but's!"

I know I am coming across irrational but I don't want to have to intoxicate Prim's mind with the rules which the Capitol have created. There's only one rule which she already knows. You fight till the death. Peeta gives me a look of disapproval before changing the subject abruptly.

"I got you two breakfasts," he says before handing us each some bread and fruit. Prim's face lights up at the sight of the food, I had noticed her stomach rumbling quite a few times. Out of all the food available Peeta gets us bread. It reminds me a lot like the time when Peeta gave me bread when I was practically keeled over in his garden… but this is less extreme. I take the bread with gratitude, though I don't eat much. That is because I know that in only an hour's time we'll be pulling into the Capitol, greeted by humans who look like circus freaks. Yet it will be us who have to put on the show. I sit down cross legged on the floor, carrying on braiding Prim's hair. Peeta sits behind us on the bed and I am able to watch the both of them through the reflection of the mirror. Prim, she looks anxious, though slightly excited. I know she has dreamt of going to the Capitol all her life. I just wish it wasn't for this reason. Peeta is watching my hands, fascinated by the way which they are so coordinated with one another. I can't help but smile at Peeta at times. He's a likable character, no wonder he has hardcore, dedicated fans that will be rooting for him this year. I suppose those same fans will have their fingers crossed that I die, so they get their precious Peeta Mellark all to themselves. I suddenly feel bitter, jealous almost. I don't know why. Perhaps, maybe, it is because Peeta is my boy with the bread, not theirs. He, supposedly, loves me. And yes, I don't love Peeta, but he is still mine. Peeta's eyes look away from my hands to meet my eyes watching his reflection. Peeta gives me a small smile which I return. As I look back to Prim I notice her watching both Peeta and I with such keen interest. An unusual smile spreading across her face.

Once I have finished braiding Prim's hair, Peeta agrees to allow Prim and I to give him a makeover.

"Make him look like Effie, Katniss!" Prim exclaims in delight. I've tied Peeta into a chair so he can't stop me from putting whatever I like on his face. Peeta is laughing along with us, though I sense he is genuinely scared of what the outcome will be. It's strange how immature activities such as these can make you lose track of all time alongside forgetting where you are travelling too.

After an hour or so I hear a high shrill voice. "We're here!" Effie shouts, hitting my door numerous times. Peeta's eyes widen in alarm.

"We've arrived? Katniss get this makeup off of me!"

"I can't! We haven't the time," I reply, trying to suppress my need to laugh. Prim, on the other hand, is unable too and bursts out laughing right in front of Peeta.

"Well at least show me what I look like?" Peeta questions, he hasn't seen his reflection yet. I turn the chair to face the mirror where I can't help but laugh at Peeta's reaction. His face shows disgust alongside slight amusement. With bright neon orange hair which Prim received by sneaking into Effie's room and taking her 'hair paint' as Prim calls it. Thick, black, clumpy eye lashes, framed with neon green eye liner. Peeta's face is pure white, with orange cheeks to match his hair. Finishing with dark red lips, to bring out his seductive side.

"What have you made me look like?" Peeta questions, rather lost for words.

"Neon is in this year," Prim giggles.

"HURRY UP! WE ARE RUNNING LATE!" Effie practically screams from outside the door.


	13. Chapter 13

I open the door, walking past Effie with Prim close behind me.

"Finally. Now where's Peeta?"

"Here I am," Peeta comments, stepping out of my room. Effie let's out a small high pitch shriek when she sees Peeta. But not out of disgust, out of delight.

"Peeta! You look wonderful! You've really pulled out all the stops this year! The Capitol is going to love you. Neon is in this year!" Both Prim and I turn to one another, letting out a small laugh.

"I did this only for you Effie," Peeta smiles, fluttering his eyelashes slightly. We walk into the main compartment of the train where Gale and Haymitch are waiting for us. My stomach begins to tighten and twist. I'm unsure of whether this is because this is the first time I have seen Gale since our kiss, or to the realisation of that in a few minutes I will be bombarded by cameras, screaming people and the presence of President Snow. But before I can allow my mind to decide which factor is making me feel such a way, I notice the sudden look of shock on Haymitch's face.

"Effie, what have you done to the boy?!" Haymitch shouts, grabbing Peeta by the shoulders to get a better look. Gale bursts into absolute hysterics, setting both Prim and I off.

"Nothing. He wanted to fit in with the Capitol fashion life. I don't blame him."

"He'll be a laughing stock! Peeta, wipe that crap off your face right now."

"We haven't any time, Haymitch!" Effie screeches. All of us fall silent, even Haymitch. Effie's eyes flare in such a way which I didn't even know was possible.

Before we are lead off the train, Effie arranges us into a certain formation. Peeta and I stand in the middle whilst Prim stands next to my side and Gale next to Peeta's.

"Now remember, you two are in love." Haymitch replies, forcing me and Peeta to hold hands. I can't look at Peeta, not properly, or else I burst out laughing. The train door opens and we are all instantly blinded by light and deafened by screams. Prim squeezes my hand tightly, afraid to let go. I don't want her to let go anyway, I don't want her to become engulfed in the crowd. She's only little, she can be lost easily.

"PEETA! PEETA!" I hear a group of girls scream. Peeta gives them a salute, leading to one girl, ironically dressed in neon orange too, to faint. The crowd is going crazy for Peeta's appearance, cameras flashing from everywhere. Effie was correct, neon is in this year. Peeta leans in and gives me a kiss; although I close my eyes I can still the brightness of the flashes through my eyelids. The crowd goes crazy, happy to know that the love isn't dead. We pull away from each other at the same time, when I open my eyes I find Peeta and I surrounded by cameras and television crew. They all want to get a snap of us.

As we are getting pushed through the crowd, I notice quite a few girls screaming Gale's name and getting hysterical when he waves at them.

"HE WAVED AT ME!" I hear one girl exclaim.

"NO HE WAVED AT ME!" The other shouted. Prim remains tightly by my side, dazed by the flashing lights and screaming 'fans'.

"PRIMROSE! PRIMROSE EVERDEEN!" shouts one reporter. Prim stops, turning her attention to the woman. The reporter is wearing a neon yellow pencil suit, with frills literally bursting out of every seam. Her eye lashes are like centipede legs, if I didn't know any better I would say they were.

"Primrose, tell me how are you feeling?" The woman asks, lowering herself to Prim's height and putting the microphone directly under Prim's mouth to catch every little whimper or gasp.

"S-Surprised." Prim stutters.

"Surprised? Surprised at how your sister volunteered you or?" I feel anger rise inside of me. Last year we were warned before hand not to direct our attention to reporters, why didn't I warn Prim?

"Just surprised. The Capitol is so clean," Prim replies innocently, giving a small smile. The reporter laughs in an over exaggerated way.

"Yes, it would be clean compared to District 12."

"Peeta, we need to get her away from them," I whisper to Peeta, watching Prim out the corner of my eye.

"I've got it," Peeta replies before giving me a kiss on the cheek and then walking over to the reporter.

"Prim, there you are!" Peeta exclaims, lifting Prim up in his arm, "This little one keeps disappearing." The reporter looks slightly startled by Peeta but soon regains her composure.

"Ah, Peeta Mellark, what a lovely new look you have."

"Why thank you. I thought I would get into the spirit of the games," Peeta smiles before walking off with Prim. I can't help but laugh slightly at Peeta and his new found 'Capitol' style.

"Neon is in this year," Gale smirks at me. I look back at Gale and can't help laugh.

"You seem to be enjoying this new fame," I reply as we try to make our way through the crowd.

"Well, might as well enjoy the perks," Gale replies, almost mirroring the words which Effie said to Peeta and I last year. He looks over at a couple of screaming girls and gives a wink, making one girl scream even louder. I'm surprised at how well Gale is fitting into the role of a tribute, all those words he said about the Capitol when in the woods. Gone. Perhaps they were all just lies, trying to make himself seem more rebellious? Trying to impress me? Suddenly I feel a tight grip on my arm; I turn my attention to see Haymitch next to me.

"You and I need a talk, sweetheart," Haymitch whispers. Stale alcohol, once again, invades my nostrils. I don't reply, I allow Haymitch to pull me through the crowd into the hotel where we shall be spending the next week training.

Once we step inside the clear crystal lobby, Haymitch takes me up to my room. We remain in silence until we reach it.

"So what do you need to talk to me about?" I ask, looking out the window down on all the people below.

"Prim," Haymitch replies.

"What about her?" I question. My stomach churns slightly at the sound of Prim's name.

"You can't keep her in the dark. You need to explain to her properly what is going to happen. Not given rough outlines. I heard she didn't know what a sponsor was-?"

"-Neither did I this time last year."

"No you didn't so I explained it too you. I taught you how to survive. Yes Prim will have the protection of you, Peeta and Gale but there's going to be times when she's going to have to react quickly. Where you three might not be there for her."

"I won't leave her," I reply sharply. I don't take any time or consideration to bother listening to what Haymitch is actually saying to me. Though I know, deep down, that he is correct.

"You would have thought you'd become less stubborn knowing that we're all just trying to protect your sister as much as you are," Haymitch simply replies before leaving me alone, slamming the door on the way out. I look out the window, down on the people of the Capitol. They all look like ants. Tiny, neon coloured, ants.

I give a heavy sigh, resting my forehead against the cold glass window, allowing my breath to fog against it. Perhaps I am over looking the fact that Prim will be entering the Hunger Games. I just keep assuming that when we enter that arena, it'll be like last time. Peeta and I will run off in the opposite direction, away from the weapons. Prim won't know that. There may be something which appeals to her where the bloodbaths occur. She may take pity on another tribute, stopping to help them. That is the problem with Prim. She is too young. Too naïve. Too kind. Whenever I kill game, she cries, lifting it up in her arms and trying to run home in hope of being able to save it. That's with a worthless, nameless piece of meat. How will she be able to cope with a human?

I hear the door open then being shut into District 12's quarters. I see Gale's reflection in the window, looking at me. It's as if he almost pities me.

"Peeta is giving Prim a tour of the building," Gale states before looking around the place. "Half of District 12 could live here."

"Slight exaggeration," I reply, turning around to face him.

"Well, half of the Seam could," Gale corrects. My eyes fall from Gale's face to his ripped sleeve. "The people in the Capitol are crazy," Gale laughs lightly, fiddling with a frayed strand of string.

"Did they do that to you?"

"A couple of girls did," Gale answers. There's that occurring feeling in my stomach again. Jealousy? The same which I feel with Peeta when I hear girls scream his name.

"You're like a piece of meat to them," I spit rather harshly. Gale seems to be enjoying the life in the Capitol far too much. What happened to the Gale I know? The one willing to run away with me? The one hoping to start a rebellion?

"I am a piece of meat, Catnip. I'm just a face, they don't actually know me." I feel a sense of relief run through my system to the knowledge that Gale hasn't completely lost who he is. He is still aware of how false the people of the Capitol are. How oblivious they are to the true matters which are at hand.

Gale must sense that I am upset as he opens up his arms, allowing me to walk into them and to be engulfed by his body. I rest my head in Gale's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It's faster than normal, his body is more tensed. Even Gale must be scared by what is happening. I feel selfish. Yes, what has happened to me is terrible. To find out that Prim has been forced to enter the Hunger Games. Not out of pure chance but out of punishment for me. But Gale, not once has he complained. He left his family to come to the Hunger Games with me, leaving his sister, brothers and mother behind. They may starve or worse. But he doesn't complain. He remains to be by my side, to be my support. It's sickening to know how much I have ruined Gale's life. If we never met in the woods all those years ago, he wouldn't be here with me now. Just counting down the days until we'll be sent to our deaths. Gale kisses me gently on the head before letting go of me to look around the place which we shall call 'home' for the next 3 to 4 days.

"Want to give me a guided tour? Or else I'll get lost," Gale asks. I smile, agreeing to show Gale each and every room. He's impressed by the layout of the place, contrasting how different it is to the life in the District. It takes me an hour to show Gale around the place, alongside trying to explain to him how to use the gadgets which those in the Capitol have.

We are soon greeted by Effie, Peeta and Prim. Peeta still has his makeup on, though his mascara is beginning to flake off. As soon as he arrives he walks straight to the bathroom to wash away his makeup. Prim looks rather excited to tell me all the things which Peeta had shown her, I can't help but smile.

"I got to have a hot chocolate, Katniss! It was so delicious! Buttercup would have loved some!" Prim exclaimed in delight.

"Buttercup has enough of our food as it is. I hope you're not planning on trying to steal food from the Capitol to give to him Little Duck?" I ask, prodding my sister lightly in the stomach. Prim simply smiles before deciding to look around the rooms.

"You four will need to meet the prep team in an hour's time at the remake centre so they are able to make you look presentable for tonight's Opening Ceremony," Effie says to me. My eyes widen in realisation, I forgot entirely about the opening ceremony. I simply nod my head before going to follow Prim, until Effie calls my attention.

"Katniss, I'm aware that this year's Hunger Games will be especially hard for you-" yes, because last years was a walk in a park, "-I am only trying to bring light to the situation; I am sorry if I offended you or Primrose earlier." I think this is the first time I have ever heard Effie apologise, become aware of how her Capitol attitude can be interpreted differently by others. I give Effie a smile, letting her know that I forgive her. She doesn't know any better.

Sometimes it is me who feels sorry for those who live in the Capitol; they're just so blinded by this constructed society they live in that they aren't aware of reality.

**A/N- Please could you leave me a review? :) I find it really interesting reading what you guys think. Also, i would love any suggestions/ideas on what could happen in the next couple of chapters? Or, if anyone has any suggestions for some tribute names that'd be cool! :) **


	14. Chapter 14

I don't think I'll ever get used to the unnatural sensation of having hairs pulled out of the skin. Though in the Capitol this seems completely normal.  
"We would have thought you'd at least have tried to maintain keeping the appearance which we worked so hard to create," Octavia comments. I don't reply. What am I supposed to say? Sorry for not pulling out hairs on my legs whilst providing for my family? Though through the questions asked and the hollow small talk, I sense a form of emotion subdued in every sentence, every look. Sadness. Mourning. Behind the Capitol masked creatures staring down on me are human beings. Human beings who see the injustice of the situation which I am in.

The only thing which is keeping me from screaming every time they pull the wax from my legs is the fact that I shall be seeing Cinna soon. My prep team hose me down one final time before leaving me in a room where I wait for Cinna. As I wait, I think of Prim. What must she be thinking, feeling? At the age of 16 I had tears in my eyes due to the stinging of my skin, how will Prim cope? Will her prep team be nice like mine? They won't care for Prim like my team care for me. They'll see her as weak.

The door opens and Cinna enters, looking exactly the same as he did last year.  
"I am so sorry for you, Katniss." is the first words which Cinna says. No hello, how are you? Pure, genuine remorse.  
"It's not your fault," I reply. A silence falls briefly before Cinna inspects my body, plucking out odd hairs which have been missed.

"What's the theme this year for District 12?" I ask.  
"The same as every year, coal," Cinna replies whilst still rotating me like I am a mannequin.  
"So should I expect to wear a miner's hat and shovel?" I retort.  
"You leave your outfit to me," Cinna smiles, glancing up at me quickly. The classic gold outlining his eyes.

For three hours I have makeup applied to me. Dark purple lips, smoky black eyes, bronzed cheek bones, outlined eyebrows. The look which I portray is striking. I try to imagine what Prim must look like; I hope that they do not cast her in such heavy makeup. My sister, Prim. I snap out of my thoughts once I am aware that I am to be shown my costume for the first time. Cinna holds in front of me a black all in one, on the hanger it just looks like pure cloth but the minute I take it the weight hints that there is more. I put on the outfit which compliments my figure in all the right ways, showing curves which I didn't even know I had.  
"Take it we're not going for ribbons and bows anymore?" I smile.  
"I think you've outgrown that," Cinna replies. He presses a button on the inside of my sleeve which ignites my outfit into an amber colour which slowly rises to yellow, orange and red. I do not resemble fire; I resemble a spark, the spark which has been left behind from my previous victory.

Cinna turns off my outfit, instantly making the room go dark.  
"We don't want to waste the energy," he states. I am guided to where the carriages await to parade us out to the Capitol. The room seems so much smaller in comparison to last year due to twice as many carriages being needed. I wait by my carriage feeding the horse a sugar cube.

I watch the other tributes and victors interact with one another. They're laughing, of course they are, the majority of victors are friends with one another. One victor catches my eye specifically, Finnick Odair. Famously known for his handsome looks, Finnick has always been one of the favourite victors of all time, winning at the age of 14. Ten years later and he doesn't look a day over 19.

He glances over at me to notice I'm watching him. He gives a small smirk but before he has time to come over I feel arms wrap around my waist. I turn around to see Peeta standing behind me wearing the same identical outfit as I.  
"You look beautiful," Peeta comments, taking in my presence.  
"Same could be said about you," I reply. It sounds strange but it is true. The outfit which Peeta has on defines every muscle on his body and the dark powder used on his face really brings out his blue eyes.

I must be breathing heavy, nervous perhaps, because Peeta takes my hand and makes soothing noises. He rests his forehead against mine. With my false eyelashes, and Peeta's naturally long lashes, it is as if they flutter against each other. I hear a cough. I pull away to see Gale standing there with Prim. She looks beautiful, she always does, but today she looks radiant. Her face has hardly any makeup on, apart from some black eyeliner and a flame pattern etched onto her cheeks in gold, same as what Gale has.

Their outfits seem to be split in two. The bottom half is a metallic gold, it looks almost made of metal. The top half is then black, like the material which Peeta and I are wearing.  
"You look beautiful little duck," I whisper while embracing my sister into a hug.  
"They wanted to dye her skin purple," Gale comments with a hint of amusement. I look up at him, noticing how the gold on his face compliments the greyness of his eyes. Only one word can describe him, handsome. Gale looks the definition of masculine. Gale gives me a small smile which I return.

Before I can reply to him the national anthem of Panem begins to play and we approach our chariots. Gale and Prim will be the first to enter on their chariot, with Peeta and I following behind them. Cinna has informed us to ignore the audience, as if we are above them. Something which I know I'll be good at. One by one the chariots leave the room, with more and more space being created.

"Should we hold hands?" Peeta asks as District 6 leave. I think before I reply, I know that the smart option for Peeta and I would to still pretend that we are in love, but why? We're going to die anyway; I don't want to have to fake my feelings anymore. I'm too tired, too emotionally worn. I know the Capitol is expecting the star-crossed lovers of District 12, but for once I don't think of what the Capitol wants. I shall not perform to them. Still, I take Peeta's hand in my own. Not to show our love, but to show unity. Gale watches my action and does the exact same with Prim, which I am glad. Prim will need both the physical and emotional support.

Our chariots begin to move and within seconds we are exposed to the screaming crowds of the Capitol, our outfits glowing in full glory. The outfits of Gale and Prim look breathtaking, even from the back. The top half of their body ignites, releasing roaring flames, as if they are torches. Peeta and I follow closely behind them, as if sparks which have flickered off from their torches. The crowds scream but we do not acknowledge them, we don't even glance at them. As we pull in to where President Snow is, it is as if everyone is mesmerized by our outfits, even Snow. I feel superior, the knowledge that hardly anyone is taking in the scripted words which Snow are saying but focusing on us instead.

Once back in our suite, Effie exclaims in delight over our jaw dropping outfits, praising Cinna over and over again. Cinna simply smiles to the comments; his mind seems to be somewhere else. Although it is late, Effie still insists that we have dinner, but before this I want to wash the makeup off my face. Streaks of purple and orange stain the porcelain sink basin after I have finished, my eyes resembling that of pandas. I make sure to scrub my face raw, to make sure that every inch of makeup is removed from my skin completely. At dinner, Prim is full of conversation, excited by the night.

"Did you hear all those people screaming my name?" she keeps repeating.

"Yes, you're very big with those in the Capitol," Effie smiles. Haymitch on the other hand just ignores her, trying his hardest not to drink. It must be hard for Haymitch, knowing that he will be watching the people he loves most die. I don't mean me and Peeta, though I like to believe he does have some form of affection towards us, but the victors who are always entering the arena. Every year for the Hunger Games he has shared drinks, tales and laughs with each and everyone. But this year, he has to watch them die all so some little girl from District 12 can go home to her mom and cat.

I push away these terrible thoughts away from my mind, the thought that Haymitch may resent sweet Prim and that he may resent me too. My eyes flicker across the table to Gale who is inspecting a chicken leg on his plate.

"It's not poisoned," I smile.

"I'd have to trade 3 squirrels to get a piece of meat this good," Gale replies in disbelief. That simple statement which Gale says reminds me exactly of what I said last year, the first time I saw all the food which the Capitol had to offer. The disbelief I felt of how easy they could throw food away.

"Well that's the benefit of being a tribute," Effie answers whilst handing her almost full plate back to the attendant.

"It's just strange to think…" Gale mutters under his breath.

"What's strange, my dear?" Effie asks.

"Oh, just to think that my family are probably starving to death and you've just given a whole plate of food to throw away," Gale answers.

An awkward silence brews whilst Effie tries to think of a fit response, guaranteed to involve the lack of manners which Gale has shown. The simple sentence though which Gale has said, makes me sick to the stomach. I keep thinking of Prim, of course I do, she's my sister, so it's only natural that Gale must keep thinking of his brothers, sister and mother. How will they cope without him? Gale has always been the man of the house since the accident within the mines. I feel myself choke slightly at the thought, at the pain which Gale must feel. My eyes fill up, but I blink back the tears.

"What's wrong, Katniss?" I hear Prim ask faintly.

"I ate something too spicy," I reply.

Gale is the first to excuse himself from the table before Effie is able to tell him off for the behaviour which he has shown. Shortly after I excuse myself, going straight to Gale's room. I knock on his door quietly, just to prevent the others from hearings. Gale's opens it, seeming rather confused to find me there.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine," Gale smiles, allowing me into his room. His room isn't much different from mine, apart from scattered clothes thrown around it.

"It's weird to think that this room is bigger than the one which I have at home," Gale comments, looking out the window.

"The one where you and your two brothers sleep?" I add.

"I'm sure Rory and Vick are enjoying the extra space," Gale answers, not looking away from the window.

"You don't need to do this around me, Gale."

"Do what Catnip?"

"Pretend that you're not scared."

Gale turns around from the window, his eyes meeting mine, it's only then I realise how bloodshot they are.

"But I do, Catnip. The last time I was scared, shocked, you were disgusted in me."

"I wasn't disgusted-"

"You were. You froze me out. I could tell by the way you looked at me that I was dirt to you." I feel absolutely terrible, is this really what Gale thinks I am? Someone who judges him on his emotions, seeing him as lesser a person? But then, part of me agrees with Gale. I was disgusted in his reaction, but not because he showed emotion, but because he didn't show the emotion which Peeta showed. He didn't show anger; he didn't show protection for Prim. But then I think he doesn't need too. As Gale looked out on the crowd he would have seen his family looking up at him, his mother crying.

"I'm sorry Gale," I reply, my voice breaking slightly. Gale walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.

"You don't have to be, Katniss. I love you. I just don't think you're the right person for me to talk too about my worries," he whispers, kissing the top of my head lightly.

"Well who is the right person?" I reply, trying to hold back my tears falling from my eyes.

"I don't know, maybe Effie?" Gale laughs. I laugh too, though I don't know why. I'm hurt my Gale's comments though I understand his decision to not share his feelings with me.

I really have lost my best friends and it's all because of the Hunger Games.

**A/N Sorry for the really late update. I have been SUPER busy with work and stuff but I promise to update really quickly as long as you guys promise to leave me a review? :) (Because I genuinly love reading what you guys have to say about my stuff!) And, you guys can choose who can have some fluff with Katniss in the next chapter! Peeta, Gale or Haymitch? Just joking about Haymitch, I don't ship that stuff i'm afraid. Just say in your review who you would like to see some fluff with :) Whoever has the most requests wins (I like to bring a form of excitement to my fanfiction, haha) xx**


	15. Chapter 15

Breakfast the next morning is quiet and dull; no one speaks; only the sound of eating and drinking fill the silence. Not even Effie tries to fill in the gap. Although her wig is neon pink today I can't help but sense that Effie is feeling blue. Prim walks into us, sitting down next to me. She looks pale.

"What's wrong little duck?" I ask. I don't know why, I already know the answer. Prim remains silent, staring at her plate.

"What's wrong Prim?" Peeta asks. Prim's eyes slowly fill up with tears and before I know it she's crying. I've never been good with emotion. Ever. I don't know why, my brain just freezes and my body tenses up. Before I am able to react to Prim's sudden outburst of emotion, Peeta has already responded, cradling my sister in his arms making soothing sounds.

"It'll be okay Prim," Peeta comments, stroking her hair.

"Yes, everything will be perfectly fine! You know, no one thought that someone from District 12 would ever win the Hunger Games again after Haymitch. But Peeta and Katniss proved them wrong," Effie smiles. Prim hiccups slightly, wiping a tear away from her face.

"But Katniss can hunt, I can't."

"I can't hunt either but I still won. All I did was pretend that I was a rock," Peeta laughs. This makes a few of us at the table laugh too, apart from Haymitch. He just scowls at his food, not making eye contact with anyone.

Gale enters the room, joining us at the table, taking no notice of how upset Prim is. Or, if he is, he's choosing to ignore this fact.

"Everyone is here, fantastic," Effie pronounces before pulling out her little book of dates. Effie is an utter control freak, but I suppose that's a good thing to have somebody like that on your team. She informs us that due to the vast number of tributes this year, the training shall be split into two. All previous victors shall train amongst one another, whilst the other tributes shall train amongst each other in another centre. I'm sceptical at this idea at first. I still am if I think too much into it. I don't want to leave Prim alone. Not with the Capitol. I know Gale will be there for her, but he won't be emotionally there. I know that. He knows that. We all know that. Prim will be presented as weak, vulnerable, an easy target.

Being previous victors, Peeta and I are seen as mature enough to take ourselves to the training centre whilst Effie escorts Gale and Prim. I give Prim one final hug and a kiss before the doors of the lift close, separating me from my little duck.

"She'll be fine," Peeta comments, "She's brave just like you."

"I just hope she doesn't get too emotional," I reply. I don't need to explain why for Peeta knows my exact reasoning. That's the good thing about Peeta; he's been part of the careers pack. He's fully aware of the way in which their minds work, singling out the weakest first. We can't let Prim be seen as the weakest. As we enter the training centre, we are the first there. In fact, it seems that the majority of the victors aren't turning up for training this year.

"It's never good to be cocky," Peeta whispers to me. I don't reply I'm too occupied on Prim. But I can't help but think the words which Peeta says are false, he's just saying it in hope to reassure me. The victors aren't being cocky, they've won it before. They don't need training because they already know how the Hunger Games works. They know their strengths and, guaranteed, have learnt their opponent's weaknesses.

Two hours into training and I seem to be repeating the exact same routine as I was last year. At the snare station, my fingers fumble over the thin pieces of wire and rope. I don't understand how Gale's mind allows him to set a snare within the time space of ten seconds. I feel somewhat at ease being by myself, I don't need to pretend that I want to talk to anybody here. All these victors are friends. Talking, smiling, and laughing amongst each other. Even Peeta seems to becoming friends with some of the victors. I feel slightly relieved being back in the arena. Not because I love the Hunger Games which the people of the Capitol think I probably do. But more to the fact that I no longer need to pretend to be madly in love with Peeta.

I am snapped back to reality when I see a pair of hands come over me to pull the snare out from under my fingers. I turn my head to meet the eyes of Finnick Odair.

"Hello Katniss," Finnick smirks. His voice is deep, husky; I can see why people fall for him so easy. Not me though, I don't like pretty boys.

"Hello Finnick," I reply. This is the first time I have ever spoken to him yet we are already on first name bases.

"If you ever need help with this stuff, you can always count on me," Finnick whispers giving a small wink. I feel confused. I know Finnick Odair is famous for capturing women's hearts, but now really isn't the time to be flirting.

"Thanks but I think I'll be okay," I answer before standing up and leaving the station. Finnick follows closely behind me so I head to the camouflage station.

"How's your love life?" Finnick questions me whilst I dip my brush into some mixture.

"Good. How's yours?" Finnick lets out a small, arrogant laugh.

"Katniss, Katniss, Katniss. My entire life is just a love life, jumping from one woman to another."

"Wow, your District must be so proud."

"They are. Just like District 12 must be proud of you and Peeta. Tell me this, how is a girl as pretty as you able to outsmart the competition?" Finnick asks. Though he doesn't say it, I know what Finnick is suggesting through his comment. How was a girl from District 12 able to outsmart the Capitol, leading to uprisings in Districts such as 8?

"I don't know, I just guess that the odds were in my favour," I answer. Finnick gives me a wide smile, his eyes sparkling slightly before walking away. Within seconds of Finnick leaving, Peeta comes over to me.

"How come Finnick Odair was talking to you?" He asks whilst taking the brush from my hand and painting my skin.

"I don't know he was just being friendly. Have you made any friends?"

"Well Chaff from District 11 seems okay. He's good friends with Haymitch," Peeta replies. I glance over to where Peeta is looking to see an aged man with only one hand trying to work a bow and arrow. It's almost pitiful.

At dinner Prim is overjoyed at the fact that she learnt how quickly what her special skill was.

"I can climb, Katniss. I was the fastest to climb up and down the frame. They say that tomorrow they'll teach me how to jump from one high area to another. Like from one tree to another!" Prim exclaims. I feel a lump form in my throat. That was the exact same skill which Rue had.

"That's great Prim," Peeta replies, "That'll really benefit you in the arena." Prim smiles widely.

"Have you found anything which you are good at Gale?" Effie asks politely, while dabbing down her lips with a handkerchief.

"No." Gale replies. I know this is a lie; Gale is the fastest person I have ever seen set a snare. He's even better than the instructors. "I was too busy making sure she over there didn't fall," Gale smiles. I feel slightly relieved. It's reassuring to know that Gale is looking out for Prim.

"I feel like a bird when I'm climbing, Katniss," Prim says to me. I look at her and smile. I feel myself crumbling inside. Like a bird. Rue was like a bird. Taking flight in the trees. Even just the way she would stand was like she was taking flight. Even when Rue died she looked like a tiny little bird.

_Deep in the meadow, under the Willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow…_

Suddenly all the memories come flooding back. The moment I'd seen Rue I thought of Prim. Now when I see Prim, I think of Rue. I can see peoples mouths moving at me, but I cant hear any sound. I look at Peeta, he's not speaking. He's just watching me. Does he know what's wrong? I can see Prim become more anxious, her eyes wide like saucers. Rue had such big eyes. I go to reply. My voice chokes. I don't know what noise is released, but whatever it is, it is the sound of pure agony. I push myself away from the table and shut myself in my room.

Tears trickle down my face as I remember Rue. Why am I so upset? When I watched Rue die it was agonising because it was like watching Prim die… Prim. Now I know why I am in so much pain. Prim is reliving the life of District 11 tribute Rue. They are the same age. They have the same skill. The same traits. I feel myself choke again. The tears flood out my eyes. The ones I have been holding back so long. I can't allow Prim to die. I won't let her die. But if President Snow wants her to die, she will. I scream silently into my pillow. I am wrong. This is exactly what President Snow wants me to think. I hear the door open. It's not even knocked.

"Katniss," I hear someone whisper whilst sitting on the bed.

"I'm fine," I reply, wiping away my tears. I sit up to find Peeta looking at me, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Prim's gone to bed and Gale's gone to his room. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I answer. My voice sounds hoarse from the silent screaming and crying I have just been doing. Peeta moves up next to me, putting his arm around me. Pulling me in closer to him.

"It's Rue isn't it?" Peeta asks quietly, as if saying her name was disrespectful.

"I don't want Prim to go the same way as Rue," I practically whisper. I feel tears escape my eyes. I feel my voice break. Peeta's grip on me tightens, he allows me to cry into his chest while he strokes my hair.

"She won't. There was no justice in the way which Rue's life was taken. But Prim isn't Rue-"

"But they're so similar Peeta!" I exclaim, my words muffled by Peeta's clothes.

"They're similar, yes, but they're not the same Katniss. You keep forgetting that fact. Rue could have been called Prim and have had a goat called Lady and an older sister called Katniss but she wouldn't have been your Prim. Rue was never your sister. Prim is your sister and she will survive."

"How can you be so certain?" I question, lifting my head up to look at Peeta.

"Because she's an Everdeen," Peeta replies.

I look at Peeta with such admiration and gratitude. I haven't felt pain like this since my father had died but somehow Peeta has restored a form of faith. I must look an absolute wreck, crying into his chest. I can tell my eyes are puffy from how sore they feel but I can't cry no more. I physically can't. There are no more tears left.

"I must look absolutely terrible," I laugh. I don't know why I'm laughing. I must be emotionally unstable.

"You look beautiful. You always do," Peeta whispers, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

"You're too kind to me Peeta," I comment. This thought has always been on my mind from the moment he and I had left the Hunger Games last year. I cause nothing but pain or damage to him.

"It's because I love you," Peeta smiles.

"But you could find someone better, someone who'd give you the amount of love you need," I state. I don't know what's brought on this sudden need for honesty between Peeta and me. Perhaps it's because I know that in a couple of days we shall both be dead and I want to know how he truly feels about me. Or perhaps I just need something to take my mind off Rue and Prim. Peeta turns his attention directly to me, his eyes look at me with such seriousness and content.

"There is nobody better than you Katniss, nobody. You don't think I've tried to move on? Your name is imprinted on my heart and that's something which shall never fade away. My life is nothing without you. I don't want to be with someone who will give me the love that I need. I want to be with you, Katniss, who will give me the love that I want."

Before I can ask anymore questions Peeta leans in and kisses me. Tears run down my face while we kiss. But not because of sadness but because of happiness. Peeta. My boy with the bread. My boy with my heart.

**A/N- What do you guys think? Please leave me a review xx**


	16. Chapter 16

We don't sleep that night; we just sit and talk in each others arms. I don't want to fall asleep. Not yet. I'm afraid of what horrors may meet me in my dreams. I hate the silences which fall between Peeta and I, I can sense that he is become tired. For when each silence develops, thoughts which I try so hard to keep away occur within my mind. I have accepted my death; I know that I won't live to see the end of the month, maybe not even the end of the week. That's the weird thing about death; once you accept it you do not fear it. If anything it is frustrating having to wait for the day you die. That seems to be what my thoughts consist of, my imagination runs into overdrive of all the ways in which I could die.

"Go to sleep," I hear Peeta whisper to me.

"I'm not tired," I reply. I'm lying. I can feel my eyes growing heavy. My thoughts drifting in and out of reality. I can't allow myself to fall asleep because in my dreams Peeta won't be there to protect me.

"What's your biggest regret?" I ask Peeta. He looks at me with deep thought, his finger stroking my arm ever so lightly.

"My biggest regret? Hmm, I think I'd have to say not telling you sooner how I feel. How about you?" Peeta's comment makes me feel slightly sick, it's these passive comments where Peeta hints at his undying love for me which makes me feel like a horrible person. For I don't love Peeta, not to the same extent which he does me. Because I also love Peeta. Both in different ways you could argue but I'd be lying if I said I never thought what life with Gale would be like.

"Never buying Prim a cupcake from your bakery," I answer. I'm lying once again.

My biggest regret? I couldn't answer, I have so many. Not saving Rue. Saving Peeta. It sounds horrible but it's true. He's going to die anyway, if I had just shot him in the heart in the arena last year Prim and Gale wouldn't be here with me. I might even be here either.

"If we go home I'll make sure to give Prim as many cupcakes as she wishes," Peeta smiles, kissing me gently on the forehead. I give a small smile before closing my eyes and pretending to fall asleep. I can't bare to speak to Peeta anymore, I don't understand what is going on in my mind. Maybe I do love Peeta but now isn't the time to be thinking about this. But why not? I'll be dead soon, I won't have any other time to talk about it. And then I realise why I feel so conflicted. Gale.

During the Hunger Games last year it was so easy to act like I was deeply in love with Peeta but my thoughts would often drift to Gale. How can I honestly continue this 'romance' with Peeta when Gale is only a few rooms away? I make myself sick. I wish I never had met Peeta; life would be so much easier. Especially for him. I often wonder whether Peeta feels the same as I do?

I am woken up by Effie rasping at my door.

"Wake up! You will be late for training!" Effie screams. I rub my eyes raw before opening them to be met by the blue eyes which belong to Peeta.

"I'll miss having our own personal organizer," Peeta laughs. I laugh too before getting changed. We leave without any breakfast; I don't think Effie would actually allow us too, and head towards the training centre. The conversation between Peeta and I is short. I'm not really in the mood for talking to anyone. Two hours into training and I actually find myself wishing that time could hurry up. Ironic. I'm literally wishing away the last few days of life that I have left. I decide to stay away from the snare station today as I don't want to appear to have some form of obsession. My eyes linger around the training centre, briefly meeting those of Peeta. He smiles, his eyes sparkling slightly. He's at the camouflage station with the two morphlings from District 6. I divert his eyes, suddenly becoming transfixed on the edible plant station I am already at. I look at the green leaves I'm holding in my hands, the way which the prickles seem to tickle the skin. The perfect plant for removing Tracker Jacker venom. My eyes scan around the room once more and I notice that the archery station is free. I decide that ten minutes of shooting wont cause any damage. I'm going to die anyway, may as well enjoy myself. The moment I pick up the bow my body suddenly relaxes. The tensions and worries which have been at the back of my mind slowly fade away. As soon as the first arrow leaves my grasp I lose all sense of where I am. My mind goes completely blank and I feel like I am home. Target after target I hit perfectly. Even the advanced ones. After twenty minutes I decide that is enough, placing the bow carefully back. As soon as I turn around I notice that all the victors' eyes are lingering on me. Envy. Jealousy. Hate. Admiration. These are the emotions which I see looking back at me.

The moment which Peeta and I return back to our suite Haymitch swoops on me.

"You've really impressed some people today, sweetheart" he smiles. This is the happiest I have seen Haymitch since the day the Quarter Quell was announced.

"Thanks," I smile. Haymitch gives me the thumbs up before asking Peeta how his training has been going. I notice Gale and Prim in the lounge and I walk towards them. The moment Prim sees me she jumps up, wrapping her arms around my neck. I lift Prim off the floor, hugging her tightly, allowing her blonde hair to brush across my cheek. How I've missed my Little Duck.

"Are you okay Katniss?" I hear Prim say, though her words are muffled by my hair which is in her face.

"I'm fine Little Duck," I reply before placing her back on the ground, "I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday. I was just tired." Prim gives me another hug. No more is needed to be said. It's ironic how it's me who is the emotional wreck and Prim is the one who is so preserved. My eyes flicker to Gale who is watching me with such intensity. As if sensing the sudden change of atmosphere, Prim leaves the room allowing Gale and I to speak in private.

"Hi," I smile, sitting down next to Gale.

"Hi Catniss," he smiles back. A quick silence develops between us; I decide that now is really the only chance I will have to speak to Gale properly.

"Are we okay?" I ask.

"Of course we are, why wouldn't we be?"

"Because you aren't able to tell me how you feel," I admit. It sounds rather pathetic saying it out loud. Like I am some little child longing for Gale's affection. Maybe I am just longing for his affection.

"I don't want to cause more stress and problems for you, Katniss. I know that you've been through enough, you don't need my problems."

"But I want your problems!" I exclaim. Gale looks at me; his grey eyes aren't glistening like they usually do. They look dull. Dead. He takes hold of my hand, staring it my eyes. Stroking it gently with his thumb.

"I know my family are okay, I took Rory hunting with me when you were here last year. He'll provide for the family now. I'm not happy about it but we all have to make sacrifices. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm scared but I know I am going to die. If anything I'm just scared that I will still be alive when you die. I don't have the actual strength to live life without you." I feel slightly numb by Gale's words. Peeta always says he can't live without me, it's like a little greeting we have. But Gale? He's never been this honest with me; I can tell that this is hard for him. It's hard for me. I've been thinking about my own death, yes, but never that of Gale and Peeta. What will I do if I watch Gale die in front of my eyes? Would I have the mental strength to keep my head in the game and keep Prim alive? I honestly don't know.

"You won't have to watch me die. We die together Gale. You, Peeta and I. We'll stay alive, keep Prim safe and then we'll take our own lives," I state. My voice doesn't sound like mine. It sounds hollow yet dominant. I am taking control. I am not letting the Games Makers decide our fate.

Training the next day is cut short as all tributes are to show their special skill to the Games Makers individually. Prim sits on my lap looking at all the others tributes whilst I braid her hair back. I don't want it falling in her face when she climbs. Prim doesn't speak at all, as if intimidated by all the older tributes. It's only then that I notice that Prim is the youngest one here.

"What are you going to do?" I ask Peeta who is staring blankly at the floor.

"I'm not sure, maybe do some camouflage if the morphlings have left me anything to work with. How about you?"

"I don't know, I might shoot some arrows but I did that last year." Peeta simply smiles before the conversation falls silent. I think he is just as nervous as Prim is. Within an hour it is Prim's turn to present her skill to the Games Makers.

"Good Luck little duck," I say whilst hugging my sister. She hugs me tightly, as if not wanting to leave. Gale and Peeta also wish Prim luck, though it is brief and a Peace Keeper pulls her away from us. Ten minutes later and Gale is taken away. He gives me a quick hug and a nod of the head to Peeta.

Now it is only Peeta and I. I feel somewhat suffocated by his presence but I don't know why. Does he feel it too? I open my mouth to say something but it falls silent. The Peace Keeper appears once more calling for myself to enter. I look to Peeta, who has risen with me. He wraps his arms around me, my head resting in its usual place above his heart. I hear his heartbeat. It's irregular. Why is he so nervous?

"Good luck," he whispers, kissing the top of my head gently.

I am lead into the training centre where the Games Makers eye me suspiciously. They must remember me from last year. Of course they do. I am the latest victor after all.

"Katniss Everdeen. District 12." I announce, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I look around the room quickly, trying to think quickly what I could do. My eyes trail to the archery station, I know it's tedious showing the same skill two years running… then again Victors aren't suppose to be re-entered into the Hunger Games. I pick up the bow and arrow and aim it at the targets. Perfect. I aim it at the next target. Perfect. I then decide to improvise, make my presentation a slight bit more interesting. I take a berry from the edible plants station and place it on a pole accurately in the centre of the room. I move 20 metres away and aim my bow and arrow. I glance up at the Games Makers to see them strongly intrigued by my actions. I turn back to my target and with one simple swift movement I shoot the arrow, going straight through the berry. My arrow continues, as I planed, through the air straight into the neck of a dummy, pinning it against the wall. I then get another arrow and shoot it, hitting the dummy directly where the heart would be. I turn quickly to those watching me, I see one of them wince slightly, as if afraid I'll shoot an arrow at them. Impossible. They have a force field protecting them this year.

That night we learn what scores we have received. Prim got a strong 7, Gale a 9, I gained a 9, one point less than last year, but the most shocking score was from Peeta who gained 2.

"What did you do?" Effie asks harshly.

"I painted," Peeta muttered.

"Painted what?" Haymitch snarls. Peeta glances up at me but he does hold my eye contact for long.

"I painted Rue. I just wanted them to know, even if it was for a second, that they killed her."

I go to say something but my voice fades away. I am shocked by what Peeta has done; did he know he was going to do that before I went in? Was that why he was so nervous?

"Are you crazy? You've made yourself a target!" Effie exclaims in disgust.

"I'm going to die anyway, we all know it. There's only one person coming out of that arena alive and it's not going to be," Peeta replies in frustration before walking out of the room.

"The Peeta I knew last year had manners!" Effie screams after him. She tries to regain her composure, looking around at all of us, before walking out quickly.

"Are you okay Katniss?" I hear Prim ask.

"I'm fine, just surprised," I reply. Surprised isn't the word. Effie is right; Peeta isn't the boy we knew last year. He's accepted his death and isn't willing to play by the rules of the Capitol. He's made himself look weak but Peeta is correct. He's going to die, why should he care?

"Why are you surprised, that boy is in love with you? He's still hoping that somehow both you and your sister will come out alive. He's delusional. You don't deserve him," Haymitch comments bitterly. I look over at Haymitch, waiting to see a smirk, or a snarl, something which indicates that he's either joking or too drunk. But I see nothing. He's being serious. I know that Haymitch has always preferred Peeta to me because we clash too much.

"I know I don't deserve him but neither do you," I comment back.

"And what is that suppose to mean?"

"You. You left Peeta to die last year in the arena; you sent him nothing until I arrived. Then when I did you didn't give us anything we actually needed, only soup. I know you don't like me; truth is I'm not too fond of you either, but Peeta, Peeta has always been there for you and don't you deny it. He would visit you at least twice a week, he would bathe you, cook you food. Did you ever say thank you? No. So yes I know I don't deserve him but I give Peeta much more credit than you ever will." The words which I am saying I am unable to stop, I feel as if I am possessed. All these emotions, thoughts, anxieties which I have had since the Quarter Quell was announced have suddenly turned into venomous hatred for Haymitch. Yet he does nothing. He doesn't raise his voice. Hit me. Nothing. He just looks at me with an emotion which I don't recognise before saying,

"You're absolutely right Sweetheart, like always. But just remember that both you and Peeta came out alive and it wasn't because the odds were in your favour."

Haymitch gives me one final look before leaving the room. I finally register what the emotion I could see in his eyes was. Pure disgust.

**A/N- Sorry if this chapter seemed rushed, I really just want to get them into the arena! (I have such a good idea for it you see!) Please leave me a review :) **


	17. Chapter 17

I awake in the morning to find a note that has been slid under my door. It's from Effie informing me that Gale and Prim are being prepared for tonight's interviews with Caesar Flickerman. Being as Peeta and I have already been prepped before, we don't need any form of training or advice and therefore have the 'day off'. I don't like the phrase 'day off' it creates the common belief that this is my job. It obviously isn't. I have a shower, though I rest my head against the marble tiles whilst the water runs down my back. My thoughts drift from the arena, to Prim, to mother, to Gale, to Peeta, to Haymitch. I feel so guilty. Haymitch and I have always held a love hate relationship, a lot like he holds with Effie. Deep down though I know I care for Haymitch as if he was family and now I fear that our relationship is beyond repair. Perhaps he will understand the pressure that I am under and that is why I acted out so irrationally. At the same time though Haymitch is under the same pressures, he is going to watch his all of his entire friends die just so Prim can live.

"Katniss, are you awake?" I hear Peeta call from outside my room. I turn the shower off quickly and wrap the towel around me. I open the door to see a tired Peeta looking at me.

"I was just having a shower. Why do you look so tired?" I comment.

"I can come back later if you want? And nightmares," Peeta replies. The way that he says nightmares is quick, slightly mumbled, as if he doesn't want to talk about the topic. I understand. One of the worst things about having nightmares is when you have to retell them.

"No, come in. I just need to get changed quickly. What do you want to do with our day off?" I ask whilst going into the bathroom to get changed.

"We could go for a picnic? This will probably be our last day where we can truly relax," Peeta replies. I step out of the bathroom and braid my hair. I agree with what Peeta is saying, though it is a horrible reality to accept. Peeta and I won't have much time for relaxing in the arena. Then again, when we die we'll have all the time we want to relax.

Peeta and I order some food and go to the rooftop to spend the rest of the day in the sun. The moment I step outside my eyes narrow into slits, I haven't seen actual sunlight in days. We lie in the rooftop garden, picking the flowers and pulling the petals off them.

"If only everyday was like this," I say in a hushed voice. I feel the need to whisper, I know that there's no one around but I can't help but feel that the Capitol is still watching us.

"Who says it can't be?" Peeta questions, twirling a strand of my hair around his index finger.

"The Hunger Games?" I reply rather harshly. Is Peeta trying to play dumb? If so it is very frustrating.

"Well after the Games, we'll relax. We'll just roam the meadows, sleeping in the sun," Peeta answers. I look up at him and smile. His blue eyes twinkling when meeting mine.

"Sounds like heaven," I whisper.

The hours soon slip away from our grasp and before I know it I am wearing my dress for tonight's interview with Caesar.

"You look beautiful," Cinna says as I do a small twirl in front of the mirror. I give a light smile, though it feels heavy on my face. My outfit is similar to that of last year's yet instead of red, it is black. Black like coal.

"Do you think tonight will go okay?" I ask Cinna, almost whispering, as if afraid of being overheard by a Peace Keeper.

"Of course. You always manage to get yourself out of any situation. The Capitol already love your sister from what happened last year."

I give a small sigh, I hope Cinna is correct. I really do. But I can't see the Games Keeper going easy on Prim just because the Capitol loves her. That's not the aim of the game. That's not the aim of the Quarter Quell.

Later that night we are lined up waiting to go on stage to have a short period interview with that of Caesar Flickerman. His hair is blood red, almost like fire, which illuminates his pearly white teeth even more. Cinna has given Prim an orange dress to wear, simple but classic. It really captures her innocence, her youth. As I look at Prim I feel tears prickle my eyes. My little sister. This time tomorrow she could be dead. Stuck down within the first seconds of the Hunger Games beginning. Who would do the final blow of Prim's life? I look around, judging each and every individual my eyes lay upon…until I see them of Peeta.

"Katniss you need to calm down," he whispers, holding my hand gently.

"He's right Catnip, you'll end up giving yourself a heart attack," Gale replies, holding my other hand. I look over at Prim, who is looking back at me with concern, and I feel nothing but disgust for myself. I am pathetic. Here I need comfort when it should be Prim who should be receiving it. I pull my hands away from both Gale and Peeta and focus my attention on trying to keep my composure.

"That's a beautiful dress you have on, Prim" Peeta comments. My eyes flicker from the wall to that of the conversation.

"Thank you, I'm not too keen. I feel a bit like a pumpkin," Prim replies quietly.

"No, a pumpkin has a dirty kind of orange colour. You're wearing a more sunset kind of orange. That's my favourite colour."

"Is it? Mine's yellow."

"Oh really, how come?"

"Because buttercups are yellow and my cat is called 'Buttercup'," Prim giggles. I laugh slightly too, just at the sound of Prim's laughter really.

"I wonder what she's doing right now?" Peeta asks, noticing how much happier Prim seems on the topic of her cat.

"If I know Buttercup, she's probably destroying my room," I interrupt.

"Remember when she almost clawed your hand off when she tried to eat our game?" Gale adds. Before we know it, all four of us are bursting into laughter over the stories of Buttercup. At least three times someone has had to come over to tell us to be quiet. However, the other tributes seem to be enjoying our stories, returning us with tales of that from their Districts.

"I was out one day swimming in the sea when I felt something nibble my toes. I thought it was this girl I was with, Annie, so I didn't say anything. I just laughed. That was, until, I noticed Annie was still on the shore taking off her jewellery," Finnick smirks.

"Who was nibbling your toes then?" Prim asks.

"It wasn't who was nibbling my toes, it was what. I looked under the water to find that I had leeches suckled on my toes. It was the first time I had screamed. Annie had to come out into the sea and save me, I felt like a big girl," Finnick replies. We all burst into laughter. The thought of Finnick Odair screaming like a girl actually makes my sides hurt from laughing too much.

Before I know it, my name is called to go on stage. I give Prim a hug before walking out to the audience. My hearing is muffled by the loud cheers and screaming which is being produced by the neon coloured audience. Women, men, children all are screaming my name. I manage to pull my eyes away from the absurd audience to that of Caesar Flickerman who is on his feet to greet me.

"Katniss Everdeen!" he shouts one final time. There is an even louder roar of excitement before finally dying down. I sit down next to Caesar, allowing him to take hold of my hand.

"Katniss. Katniss. Katniss. What a privilege it is to have you brace this stage one more time. Tell me, how are you feeling at the thought of going back into that arena?"

"I'm feeling optimistic, Caesar. I've won it before, who knows; maybe I can win it again?" I reply. The words what I am saying sound scripted but I can't proclaim my pure hate for the Capitol. I have to stay alive to keep Prim alive.

"I love your fighting spirit. Now, here's a question which the entire of Panem have been itching to know… why did you choose Primrose to enter the arena with you?"

I feel my stomach tighten, my mouth go dry. Of course. They don't know the truth. They still think that I chose my sister to go in.

"Personal reasons I'm afraid. Little Prim literally forced me to choose her to go into the arena with me. She doesn't want to lose me," I reply. I hear the audience give a sickly awing sound. As if they really care about me or Prim.

"We could all see from last year how close a bond you and your sister hold…Now, Katniss," Caesar says, placing his hand on my knee. His body temperature is much colder to mine so my body flinches slightly from the contact, "Don't worry, I won't hurt you," he laughs, "So…Katniss. How are you and Peeta?"

"We're good," I reply giving a playful smile. The audience love it. Caesar laughs at my comment, patting my leg with his cold hand.

"Just good?" He winks.

"Really good," I answer. The audience burst into laughter once more. Before I know it my time up has gone and I am giving Caesar one final hug before leaving my adoring fans and retiring to the company of the other tributes.

"You were wonderful," Effie squeaks as soon as she sees me, "Could have perfected your posture better." Haymitch rolls his eyes, expressing the same body language which I wish I could. I smile at him but Haymitch simply avoids my eyes. We haven't spoken since the argument the previous night, I feel so ashamed of myself. I was acting unfairly, irrational, renting my anger at the situation I am in on Haymitch. I want to apologise but I'm too stubborn for that. My eyes flicker to the television screen which is behind Effie's head where Peeta's face is there. Peeta has always been so much better at speaking than I have.

"Peeta Mellark!" Caesar exclaims, hugging him like an old friend.

"Great to see you, Caesar. Still smelling like roses I see," Peeta replies, giving a small little pat on the shoulder before they sit down. The audience is already eating out of the palms of their hands, laughing at a joke that they feel is a 'personal' one between them and Peeta.

"Well I knew I'd be interviewing you so I thought I'd make extra effort," Caesar states, flashing his pearly whites to the camera. Queue the sickly laughter. "So, Peeta, here we are once again, one year since the last Hunger Games. How does it feel, defying all the odds, to win the games and to win the girl?"

"It feels great. I really didn't think though that I would be returning to that arena. I'd be lying to say I don't feel cheated."

"What is he doing?" Effie exclaims at the screen, "Why is he saying this? Katniss, did you tell him to say this?"

"No," I reply, I can feel frustration building inside of me. I just wish Effie would shut up I want to hear what Peeta is saying. No, I need to hear what he is saying. I can tell from Caesar's forced smile that this is not what he was expecting as an answer.

"Yes, well, that's the reality of the Games I suppose. You never know what's around the corner."

"Literally," Peeta scoffs slightly. He turns his attention to the audience, talking to them directly, "I remember last year being in that arena and I was afraid what I would find around every corner. I was constantly expecting the worst. Then the most magnificent thing happened, I found Katniss around the corner. My true love. My, suppose to be, bride. We were going to get married, have kids. We can't now. Those dreams are over. We wanted to get married right here in the Capitol. You would have all been invited. Prim would have been the flower girl. But a couple of days ago I and Katniss decided to call it a day between us. I know she said that we're good, that's because we are. We're still friends. But we're not together. She lied because she knows how much you care about us and she didn't want to upset you. But I don't care. I don't care if you sponsor me. I don't care if I win the Hunger Games. The reason why is because I'm already dead. I don't want to leave that arena without her."

I'm not even near the stage and I can hear the cries and howls that have erupted from the audience. They're like children. It's like we have punished them for doing this, took away their entertainment. I don't care though because the only words I hear are those just said by Peeta.

_"I don't want to leave that arena without her."_

"What do you think you're doing?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?" I hear Effie screech. I pull my eyes away from the screen to see Peeta staring at the floor whilst Effie yells. I walk past her, embracing Peeta into my eyes, kissing him multiple times on the head. He has always been there for me when I needed emotional support, now I will be here for you.

"I'm sorry if I've messed up. I just couldn't keep my feelings in," I hear Peeta say.

"You haven't messed up, not at all Peeta," I reply, kissing him on the back of the head, tightening my embrace, "I love you Peeta. I love you. You're so brave. You've said the words that I wish I had." After three minutes we pull apart, though we still hold onto one another's hands. Afraid to let go.

"There's not point in yelling at them, Effie. What's been done has been done," Haymitch comments. Effie narrows her eyes at Peeta and I before walking away from us.

"I think it's best you two go back to your room," Haymitch adds.

"But I want to watch Prim-"

"It wasn't an option. Go."

Peeta and I walk away, leaving the tension that has been created behind. I instantly feel more relaxed when I'm just with Peeta, though I wish I could be there to see Prim.

"She'll do fine, she's your sister," Peeta says, as if reading my thoughts.

"I know but I'm her older sister. I need to be there for her."

"She's not the same girl you knew last year, Katniss. She's stronger, braver, and more independent. She'll be okay. Gale will look after her," he smiles. I return the smile, feeling slightly better. Peeta is right, Prim isn't the same girl I know from last year. She no longer cries over the littlest things. She's stronger. Braver.

I go to my room and take off the dress and makeup which I was forced to wear whilst the Capitol paraded me on television. As I watch the mascara run down my cheeks my thoughts flick back to what Peeta was saying. He's accepted his death, just like I have. I can't help feel somewhat guilty though. If Peeta had just killed me last year when he was with the Careers then he may be safely at home right now. I have to say may, I'm unsure of whether he would have been able to win the games single handily on his own. My mind is brought back to reality when I hear someone knock at my door. I open it to find Prim standing there in her orange dress.

"Prim," I smile, embracing my sister into a tight hug. She buries her face into my chest before I close the door. Prim sits on the end of my bed and her eyes begin to droop. I can see already she's tired.

"They found me funny," Prim comments quietly.

"Did they? What were you saying?" I ask, sitting down next to her and brushing her hair. Prim tells me that she went into a story about her and Buttercup.

"They seemed surprised that I would have a cat as a pet," Prim states rather confused.

"I bet everyone will be getting a cat now," I smile brushing some hair out of her face. Prim smiles and shuts her eyes. I allow her to fall asleep, tomorrow will be a big day and she'll need her energy.

I tuck Prim into my bed; I don't want her leaving my sight. She is my responsibility. I watch her sleep. She looks like an angel. It sickens me to think that in a few hours time she will have to fight until the death. She is too young. My darling Prim. I kiss her on the forehead whilst stroking her hair. I remember watching Rue die last year and the agonising pain which I felt because of it. The reason why it hurt so much was because it was like watching Prim die. The fact that that could be a circumstance crushes me on the inside. I don't think I'd be able to physically cope if Prim was to die in front of my very eyes. I know that Peeta and Gale, if they are still alive, would make it their goal to make me win the Games if Prim was to die. But I wouldn't want too. I wouldn't have anything left if Prim died. I've never been close with my mother and Prim is the only form of innocence I have left in my life. If Prim wasn't around when my father died, I do not think I would be here today. Prim is my life. If she dies I shall die with her.

The next morning I awake to find myself already on the carrier which shall take us to the arena. I look around urgently to find Prim two seats down from me. Her face is pale. Anxious. Scared. How long has she been awake? I look around to find Gale opposite me. He looks tired. How much sleep has he had?

"Alright Catnip," he smiles.

"You look tired," I comment.

"I haven't had much sleep, I was up all night thinking," Gale replies. "I'll be fine though." He tries to give me a reassuring smile but I'm able to see through it. I reach out my hand which he takes gratefully. He squeezes it tightly. It's only a simple gesture but that one squeeze says all the words which we need to say.

The journey isn't long and before I know it a Peace Keeper is pulling me away.

"Just look for me Prim!" I scream as I get pulled the opposite direction away from her. Her eyes are alert. She reminds me of a deer I once hunted when in the woods with Gale. I try to get rid of that thought. Because that's all Prim will be when in that arena. Somebody else's prey.

I am taken to a room where Cinna awaits for me. He hands me my outfit for the arena. The material is thin; it won't provide much protection from cold exposures. Cinna doesn't say many words to me. He's aware that this will be our last meeting.

"How do I look?" I ask whilst attaching my mockingjay pin to my outfit.

"Beautiful," Cinna replies whilst pinning back a strand of hair from my face. Our eyes meet and I feel tears prickle my eyes. Not because of fear but because of sadness.

"Thank you- for everything," I whisper.

"No, thank you," he comments. A sound rings to indicate that it is time for me to enter the capsule which shall place me within the arena. I begin to shake. My actions reflect that of last year once more. This time though I am certain that I shall not return. I walk over to the capsule with Cinna holding my hand. I don't know what to say to him.

"Don't go down without a fight," Cinna says before kissing me on the forehead.

"I wont," I smile. The capsule shuts around me and I place a hand on the glass which Cinna imitates.

"Good bye," I say, though the glass between us mutes my voice.

"Goodbye. I wont forget you," Cinna mouths. The capsule begins to rise and I watch a single tear fall from Cinna's eyes before he vanishes from my vision.

I am suddenly exposed to a bright light which temporary blinds my vision. As it restores I become accustom to my surroundings. The sun is brightest I have ever seen it. My attention is suddenly drawn to the beige coloured ground. Sand. I rotate my view to notice that brightly coloured trees are surrounding us. Like a forest. The countdown begins and my heart jumps to my mouth. I begin to look around urgently. Looking for Prim. I see her. She's 7 podiums away. I hope she runs to the forests. The countdown reaches the final ten seconds.

I notice a bow and arrow.

_6 seconds._

I contemplate whether I should get it.

_5 seconds._

Is it worth it?

_4 seconds._

It'll protect Prim.

_3 seconds._

I'm ready to run.

_2 seconds._

I'm going to get it.

_1 second. _

_The an alarm rings. _

**_The 75th Hunger Games Quarter Quell has officially begun._**

**A/N- I am SO sorry about how late this update is. I've been really busy with school, exams etc. I'm so so sorry. But i'm back now. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter :( I will update more and the story has finally kicked into action now! I've got some really good ideas so please keep reading my story. So sorry for how late and delayed my update has been :( Please leave me a review and thanks for reading x**


	18. Chapter 18

I feel myself running though I do not feel as if I am part of my own body. My heart is beating so fast that i have become numb. There is so much blood pumping to my brain that I can not focus on more than one thing. I see someone get struck down in front of me. I think I hear a cannon. I begin to run diagonly, away from whatever or whoever just killed a person with their bare hands. I begin to focus on my legs. Making sure that I do not trip over them. I feel as if I am back in the woods with Gale. Racing him to get to the game first. Slightly ironic for the circumstances I'm in.

I hear a noise from the left side of me. I turn my head sharply to see Brutus from District 2. He hasn't seemed to notice me. Was it he who has just killed that tribute? He's too focused on reaching the Cornucopia before anyone else. I turn my view back to the bow and arrows. Still lying on the ground, just metres away from me. Just a few more metres of sand. That's when I notice it. I stop suddenly. I feel my feet skid in the delicate sand. I stumble. But I manage to stop.

Maybe it's because i'm a natural hunter and you need to be able to pick up on the tiny details. Or maybe it's because of the circumstances I am in and you can never be too careful. My eye picks up on the sudden colour change around the Cornucopia. It's only a simple colour shift but you can never be too careful in The Hunger Games. My eyes flicker up with alert to find Agnis, the seventeen year old volunteered girl from District 9, running at me. I begin running towards the Cornucopia, hoping that some other tribute shall take her out for me. As I begin running I can feel Agnis closing in on me. I suddenly have an idea.

I crouch down to the ground, catching Agnis off guard. She hits my body full impact but the momentum forces her to travel through the air over me. Her impact winds me temporarily. I look up slightly from the ground to watch it happen. I watch as her face collides with that of the sand which circles the Cornucopia. The sand which I noticed to have a colour change from the rest. And that's when it happens. Quick sand. I watch as Agnis gets sucked into the ground. Her screams are muffled yet they still can be heard. I get up quickly and do a running jump over the sand. I hear the sound of the cannon go off. I feel somewhat sick. Agnis was my first kill. I notice one of the morphlings from District 6 are stuck in the sand. They're not dead. Not yet. Though they will be. His eyes meet mine. I wish I could help but Prim is my priority. _Prim._

I collect the bow and arrows quickly, thankful that Prim is nowhere in sight. I'm about to do another running jump until I feel something collide with the back of my head. I fall to the ground, my face only centimetres away from that of the quick sand. I can't think properly. My vision is blurred. I think I have concusion. I wait for another blow, the one that will kill me. But nothing. I hear the sickly sound of the cannon. I turn over quickly to find Brutus dead on the floor, holding a form of hammer in his hand. That's what he must have hit me with. I look up properly to find the person who saved my life. Or, shall soon end it. Finnick Odair. He holds a trident in his hand, wiping the blood off it.

"I knew they wouldn't be able to resist giving me a trident," Finnick smiles at me.

"Same about my bow," I reply. I get up off the ground and feel the back of my head. It's bleeding but not heavy.

"Which way are you going?" He asks me whilst collecting some more weapons from the Cornicpuia.

"I need to find Prim," I reply rather bluntly. He looks up at me holding two backpacks. He throws one to me and puts the other over his shoulder. I go to catch the bag but my reactions are delayed.

"Your sister. Right."

"Well, thanks for saving me from Brutus back there but i've got to go," I add. I find it surreal that me and Finnick are just having a casual chat at the Cornucopia. This is where the bloodbath should be. So where is the blood? Very disappointing entertainment, I must say.

Finnick begins to walk towards me, saying how we should stick together. But I dont listen to what he says as I notice an emergance of the volunteered girl from District 2, Diamond. We're not suppose to reveal our hidden talents but tributes who are part of the Careers have a habit of bragging. I remember Diamond, her's is stealth. The reason for why I remember is because that was also Rue's. I load an arrow into my bow and notice that Finnick instantly raises his trident at me. Animals. That's all we are. We'll pretend we're friends but when it comes too it, he wouldn't put a second thought into sending that weapon through my heart. I release the arrow, having it glide over Finnicks shoulder.

"I thought you was suppose to be good with your aim," Finnick scoffs, ready to release the trident at me in any minute. He's right. I am suppose to be good with my aim. Maybe it's because of the fear of having Finnick aiming his trident at me, or maybe it's because of my concusion, but my arrow barely touches Diamond. It skims accross her arm, ripping the sleeve of the outfit slightly.

Finnick notices that my eyes are not on him and turns round to find Diamond. She pulls out a knife and throws it at him. He turns swiftly, missing it by a milimetre. Finnick then gets the back of his trident and hits it into her face. I reload an arrow into my bow, ready to shoot. Blood escapes from Diamond's cheek.

"I would have thought that precious Annie would have told you that it's wrong to hit women. Or is she too much of a nutcase to even know how to speak anymore?" Diamond sneers. I don't know why but Finnick just stops. I can't see his face but he just stands there. I notice a sinister smile spread across Diamond's face. She reaches to the ground to pick up a weapon but before she has a chance my arrow goes gliding into her shoulder. I don't want to kill her. I just want to find Prim and keep her safe. Diamond releases a high pitch scream, pulling the arrow out from her shoulder. I've injured the arm which she uses for her weapons. Perfect. Diamond's eyes meet mine. A sense of pure hate is transfered from her. She then jumps over the quick sand in one quick glide and runs off from our sights.

"Finnick, are you okay?" I ask, walking slowly towards him.

"I'm fine," he mutters. It is as if he is ashamed of what has just happened. I want to ask who Annie is but I know now isn't the time. I can't leave him alone, not in this state.

"I'm going this way," I say, pointing north to the brightly coloured trees.

"What a coincidence. So am I," Finnick smirks. We collect the remainding weapons before heading towards the trees.

"Where is everybody?" I ask. It just seems unusual the lack of people at the Cornucopia.

"Most Victors sent their chosen tributes in to get supplies. A few died within seconds because of the quick sand. The more you struggle the faster you sink. I watched Chaff from District 11 die in a space of a minute. It's a shame, I liked Chaff. He'd always get drunk with Haymitch." I feel my stomach plummet. Haymitch. I never got to apologise. I try not to think of him. The pain he must be feeling right now. His best friend dying within a space of five minutes of the Games beginning. It's sickening.

"Where are the people from your District?" I ask, trying to take my mind away from the unsaid words which I wish I could have said to Haymitch. The reoccurring one being sorry.

"They're in the trees here," Finnick says. Suddenly three people emerge to greet us. One of them I recognise instantly. Mags. The other two though I only know their faces, not their names.

One is a blonde haired boy. He looks old, twenty i'd say. The more I look at him the more he looks like-

"This is my brother, Sam," Finnick comments. Sam flashes me the signature smile which I see drawn on Finnick's face. The similarties between the two are uncanny.

"I'm Katniss, District 12," I reply.

"I know who you are. Girl on Fire," Sam winks. I feel awkward. Now really isn't time for the cheery chats.

"And this is Apple," Finnick adds. My attention is drawn to a petite, quiet looking girl. She has long brown hair, I remember her from training. She's pretty in an unusual way.

"It's nice to meet you all but I have to find my sister," I state.

"She went this way," Apple comments quietly.

"What? With who? Was anyone chasing her? Was she by herself? Did she look safe? She she look hurt?" I feel the questions running out my mouth. I need to find Prim. I need her to be physically in front of me.

"S-She was with the two boys from your District," Apple stutters. I feel a sense of relief. She's safe. If she has Gale and Peeta protecting her, Prim will be safe. I hear a cannon go off. I suddenly feel sick. What if that was Prim. What if she isn't safe?

"It'll be the morphling from District 6, Katniss. I told him to struggle so he'd sink quicker but he just wouldn't," Finnick comments, "Which way did Prim go, Apple?"

"I think that way," Apple replies, pointing down a steep slope.

"They're probably trying to find water," Finnick says to me. I agree. That is the logical explanation.

I begin to walk in that direction before Finnick catches hold of my arm.

"We'll come with you."

"No. I don't mean to be rude but I haven't got time for this. I need to find my sister," I state. It's true. I haven't got time to walk the pace of which an 80 year old woman will be able to keep up with. As if reading my mind, Finnick allows Mags to climb onto his back and lifts her like she weighs nothing.

"Sam, carry my trident for me," he instructs as he begins to walk ahead. Sam does as he is told, with Apple following closely behind. I roll my eyes and feel frustrated.

I need to find Prim. The fact that she is with Gale and Peeta reassures me but they haven't got any weapons. They haven't any protection. It could be too late by the time I reach them.

**A/N- I hope you liked this chapter. Please leave me a review :) And don't forget to 'follow' the story. Thanks for reading x**


	19. Chapter 19

It feels as if we have been walking for hours, and although the trees cover us, the heat from the sun cooks our backs. The thin material clothing that we have been given to wear suffocates our skin, allowing no air to reach it. Though none of us say anything, I can feel fatigue over coming each and every one of us. Alongside dehydration.

"Prim!" I shout for the 100th time. My throat is so parched. It hurts to speak.

"Maybe we should look for water?" Sam proposes.

"No. I need to find Prim," I reply bluntly.

"Well if we keep walking downwards we should find water in the end," Finnick states, still guiding the group. He hasn't complained once and he is the one doing the most work.

"Maybe we could take a five minute rest at least," I say. I don't want to rest but I know Finnick needs one.

We lie underneath an orange coloured tree, in the shade. I look up at the tree and can't help but think of Peeta. It's sunset orange this tree. His favourite colour.

"It's a shame about you and Peeta," Apple says to me whilst she examines the ground.

"Huh?…Oh, well there was never really a future for us," I comment watching what she's doing. She pulls some of the ground in her hand, crumbling the dirt in between each and every finger.

"I always found your relationship odd."

"What do you mean?"

"Just the dynamics of it. It was peculiar." I look at Apple and choose not to reply. I feel offended by what she is saying. I know she's insulting a make believe relationship so I shouldn't really care. But I do.

"What are you doing?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject.

"I'm checking the moisture of the aground. If it's damp then water must be near."

"Is it?"

"No," Apple replies rather disappointedly. I glance over at Finnick to find that he has taken his clothes off.

"What are you doing?" I exclaim, diverting my eyes.

"It's hot," he replies with a little wink. I'm sure the people back in the Capitol love this. I role my eyes and look up to the top of the trees, that's when I get an idea.

I take some of the knives that we were able to collect from the Cornucopia and lodge it into the tree.

"What are you doing?" Sam asks.

"I'm going to see if I can see Prim," I comment whilst pulling myself up the tree trunk. Finnick helps me a little by pushing the balls of feet. It takes me ten minutes but I manage to get to the top of the tree. I feel like I have used the last bit of reserved energy which I held. I breathe heavy but the air is thin. I'm not able to see much from my position due to the tree being located on a downward slope. The sun is starting to set, thank God. I don't think my body would be able to handle much more heat. I look downwards to see a group of people near what looks like blue coloured sand. As my eyes focus on the colour I realise what it really is. _Water._

"Water!" I shout as I climb down the tree. I miss my footing at the last three metres and fall.

"Are you okay?" Apple asks with caution.

"Water!" I exclaim once again, "I saw some. Further down." I feel myself gasping for breath. Maybe that fall has winded me. I get up off the ground to find that Finnick already has Mags located on his back.

"Let's go."

We begin walking at a fast pace down the slope, I trip up every so often but I don't care. You don't realise how much you need something until it's there.

"Wait. There were people by the water when I looked," I suddenly remember.

"Who?" Finnick asks whilst offering his hand to Apple so she can keep her balance.

"I don't know."

"It might be Johanna," Finnick adds. I remember Johanna; she's a Victor from District 7. From first impressions she seems to have a fiery temper. I don't think we'd get on.

As we near the water I begin to hear voices. We walk quietly to prevent being heard.

"It sounds like they're arguing," Sam whispers to me. We hide behind a purple coloured tree to prevent being seen by the people.

"I could kill both of you in a space of one minute. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't," I hear someone snarl, "It wouldn't bother me for one second if I cut the throat of the beloved Primrose of District 12. In fact, I think I'd gain a form of satisfaction from it. Introduce you to the real world."

I don't really know what I'm doing but the moment I hear the name _Primrose_ I submerge from behind of the tree, positioning my bow and arrow.

"Katniss!" I hear Prim cry. The moment I see her I drop my weapons and engulf my sister into a hug. She begins to cry. I cry too. You don't realise how much you need something until it's there.

"I'm sorry for losing you," I cry, kissing Prim multiple times on the head.

"Oh please stop before I throw up," I hear someone scoff. I look up to see Johanna standing there, a repulsed expression scrawled across her face.

"Don't you ever threaten my sister. Ever." I shout, releasing Prim from my embrace and walking towards Johanna. She simply laughs, welcoming the proposition of a fight.

"Glad to see you're still alive," Finnick calls from by the trees. Johanna's body language suddenly relaxes from the sound of his voice and walks away from me with one final scoff. I embrace Prim one more time before noticing Gale.

"Thank you for looking after her," I say to Gale, embracing him into a loving hug.

"You don't need to thank me, Catnip." I rest my forehead against his. Allowing the silence to wash over us. "I thought you were dead." I hear him whisper.

"I guess the odds were in my favour," I whisper back. I pull away from Gale. Now isn't the time for brutal intimacy. Not where it's being exposed on national television. As I pull away I notice that somebody is missing.

"Where's Peeta?"

"Lover boy? He went to try find you," Johanna interrupts.

"You let him go by himself? With no weapons?"  
"He's not my problem. I don't care if he lives or not."

I hear a cannon sound. Is that the sound to signify Peeta's passing? I feel Gale's arms wrap around me.

"I'm fine," I say.

"You're not fine," he replies.

"He won't have gone far, Katniss" Prim adds, trying to reassure me.

"I know that little duck," I smile. My attention gets drawn to the water and I suddenly realise how parched my throat really is. I crouch down next to the bank, scooping the water up in my hands. As I do so I notice the blood on them which came from when Brutus wounded me earlier. I feel the back of my head. The blood has dried. I wash my hands first before taking the first satisfying gulp of water. As if trickles down my throat I feel as if I have gained a new form of energy.

I remember last year when in the arena. Being deprived of water is one of the most excruciating sensations that there is.

"These games really make you appreciate the little things," Finnick comments as he too drinks some water.

Darkness closes in on us quickly and we decide, for one night only, to form an alliance with one another. Until we become accustom to our surroundings. Mags creates a fish hook out of some bark which she was able to pull away from the tree. She forever amazes me. She has stronger strength than 90% of the people from District 12. Finnick catches us some fish with his trident and Johanna cooks it on a small fire.

I sit with Prim, watching the water trickle by as she dips her toes into it. Gale sits with Mags, she's showing him how to make stronger snares. He seems to be enjoying himself. Finnick is sitting with Johanna, Apple and Sam.

"Where did you go when the games begun?" I ask Prim. I'm curious to know what her strategy was. She's escaped with no injuries, apart from a graze on the knee.

"I ran towards the trees. Gale has been telling me for ages that when we are in the arena I should just run towards the trees because I can hide myself in them. So that's what I did."  
"Did anyone bother you?"

"A girl did, she appeared out of nowhere with a knife. Her arm was wounded though so her aim wasn't strong. She ran off when she missed because Peeta had picked up her weapon." I know instantly who Prim is speaking of. Diamond. I brush her hair back with my fingers, wrapping each delicate strand around my index finger.

"I'm sorry for taking so long to find you," I say, "I just saw the bow and arrow and knew how much of an advantage that would be for us."

"I understand Katniss. Don't you find it odd though?"  
"What?"  
"Well they've put your iconic weapon in the arena. They've put Finnicks. I bet they've put other Victors iconic weapons in here too."

Prim is right. Maybe it isn't just coincidence that both Finnick and mine's favourite weapons have been placed in the arena. Perhaps the Game Maker's are planning something.

As I brush Prim's hair, I notice her beginning to become more and more tired.

"Sing to me Katniss," I hear Prim mutter in her dream like state. I allow her to lie down in my lap so she can fall asleep. Her big blue eyes look up at me. She mirrors the little duck from last year. She still captures the innocence which the Hunger Games takes away from you so easily. I stroke her hair, wiping specs of dirt off of her face.

_"Deep in the meadow, _

_Under the willow. _

_A bed of grass, _

_A soft green pillow."_ I feel my voice begin to choke; I haven't sung this song since I was last in the arena. Since Rue died. I shut my eyes, trying to hold back the tears.

_"Lay down your head, and close your eyes  
And when they open, the sun will rise."_

I look at Prim to find that she has fallen asleep. I think watching Prim sleep adds to my anxiety of that I may watch her die. For when she sleeps she reminds me of the dead. I pick her up and place her underneath the trees.

"She's worn herself out," Gale comments as he stands next to me. I look down at Prim; though she is my sister I often feel that I am her mother. I give her a final kiss on the forehead.

As the night grows darker, the temperature decreases rapidly. Everyone has huddled together, trying to share body temperature. The attempts are futile. Prim is still asleep though she is shivering violently.

"Mags, do you think you could make Prim a blanket?" I ask. Mags gives me a gummy smile before getting up quickly to get some resources. She returns back with an orange tree bark. She bends it slightly and places it over Prim's body. Within seconds of it touching Prim's skin, her shivering stops. I feel the inside of the bark to feel a sense of heat radiating off it. That's when I realise it is _sunset_ orange. I instruct Mags to go collect more pieces of the orange coloured bark and within minutes she returns back with a pile. Each of us wraps the bark around ourselves, as if it was a blanket. Though the texture is hard and rough, it is a small price to pay to prevent our bodies from freezing.

One by one they begin to fall asleep. Mags is the first. Followed by Apple. Then Sam. Then Johanna. Then Finnick. I refuse to sleep. I want to stay guard. I need to protect Prim. Gale insists that he will stay awake with me but I refuse his offer.

"You didn't get any sleep last night, you're mind wont be able to function properly if you don't get any sleep now."

The problem with Gale and I is that we're both as stubborn as one another. If we don't agree on something it is very hard to come to a standard solution. However, Gale must be seeing sense in the words that I have spoken as he agrees to fall asleep. But I must wake him up in an hour's time. I won't.

As the night draws on I am so thankful for the heat temperature bark which we discovered by chance. Without it I genuinely believe that I would have frozen to death. I suddenly hear a cannon shot. Perhaps we've just had our first tribute who has frozen to death after all? As I sit watching Prim, my eyes begin to fall heavy. I will not fall asleep though. Who knows who could be watching? Or what could be. I decide to stretch my legs in an attempt to keep myself awake. As I do so I hear a rustle come from the trees. I pick up my bow and arrow, loading it into place. I don't make a noise. No sudden movements. I just wait.

Another rustle comes from the trees. From the same place. It can't be the wind. There is no wind. I tighten my grip on my bow, ready to shoot as soon as I catch a glimpse of whatever it is. I'm taking no chances. My heart begins to beat fast. Another rustle comes. I'm ready to release the arrow when suddenly I see who it is.

_Peeta._ _Covered in blood._

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter :) I've got loads of ideas and I promise to update this story loads. So remember to 'follow' and please leave me a review. Thanks x**


	20. Chapter 20

Our eyes meet and I feel a sudden release of breath escape my mouth. A sudden pressure leave my chest. However, Peeta looks at me in confusion. Why is he covered in blood?  
"K-Katniss?" He stutters in disbelief.

"Peeta," I reply. I drop my bow and arrow and run to him. I wrap my arms around his neck though he seems slightly weary as to if he should hug me or not. "Peeta what's happened?"

"They told me that you had died. That they had killed you," Peeta replies. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me tightly towards him. "It really is you. Katniss I thought you were dead."

"Who told you I was dead?" I pull myself back, but still in Peeta's arms, so I am able to see his face. I place a hand delicately on his cheek. His eyes are bloodshot. Has he been crying?  
"I think they may have been from District 7. Or 9. Or 10. I don't know. But they said that they had killed you."

I feel a sense of fear as I look at Peeta. Does the blood which he wears belong to whoever has just died? I don't accept this theory. Peeta wouldn't kill someone on his own intentions. Peeta is too kind. Much too kind. He doesn't have the capability to kill someone. But maybe he has. Maybe he has when he believes that they've killed me.

"Let's wash this blood off you," I say, guiding Peeta over to the water. The blood is mostly on his face and hands.

"What happened?" I ask as I wash the blood off his hands first.

"I was trying to find you. We didn't know where you were, I saw you at the start running towards the Cornucopia. I was going to run towards you but I found Prim by herself so I ran to her. I told her to stay here with Gale when I went to find you, I didn't want her getting hurt. I was searching for hours."

"I'm sorry. It was selfish of me to get the bow and arrow," I reply. I feel nothing but guilt. The distress which I have created. The damage which I have caused. All because I wanted a stupid bow.

"Why are you bleeding?"

"I decided to return back here, so Prim wouldn't get worried, but on my way back I ran into some other tributes. They were saying that they had killed you and that I was next on their list."

" They did this to you?" I gasp. I go to search for the wound on Peeta's body but he stops me from doing so.

"No, let me finish Katniss," he speaks softly, clasping my hands, "They threw me to the ground and one of them held a knife to my throat, see?" Peeta lifts his head back slightly to reveal a slight graze from where the knife was held. I go to run my hand over it but I stop myself, allowing Peeta to continue with his story. "I didn't really care if they killed me because I thought you were already dead. Part of me wanted to stay alive; to protect Prim, but the other part of me was hoping they'd kill me. They were about too but then we heard this noise come from the bushes. It kind of sounded like a rumble."

"What was it?"

"It was an animal I had never seen before. It kind of looked like a bear but with the features of a tiger. The two tributes ran off but the animal caught one of them. I tried to escape while it attacked them but I've never been light on my feet. I tried to run but it managed pulled me down to the ground so I just played dead, hoping it'd get bored. Thankfully it did after around five minutes. I remained on the floor until I was certain that it had left the area entirely. I thought it had wounded me quite badly but that was until I saw the other tribute which it had just attacked. She was alive but barely. She had deep wounds on her chest where this animal had clawed her. I couldn't just leave her to die slowly so I took the knife and ended her life for her."

Peeta suddenly goes quiet and stares at the water with deep concentration.

"You did the right thing," I whisper, trying to reassure him. My words mean nothing. Not in a situation like this. Peeta knows he did the right thing but it still doesn't change what he had to do. Any other tribute would have left that girl to die a slow, painful death. Peeta never. He put her out of her misery. A person who was willingly going to kill him seconds before. That one action speaks a thousand words about Peeta's character. He bends slightly to wash the blood off his face but I hear him release a painful groan. I lean backwards, allowing Peeta some space. That's when I notice how badly wounded his back is. The back of his clothes has three large rips, revealing the deep wound which the claws of this animal must have created. I've never seen skin look this raw before. Even compared to the worst of injuries which would be brought back to my mother.

"Peeta... your back..." I say quietly. I feel almost afraid to acknowledge the injury, let alone touch it.

"It looks worse than it is," Peeta replies whilst looking at me. He gives me a reassuring smile. Why does he feel the need to offer me reassurance? It is he who needs the help.  
"Take your clothes off," I instruct.

"What?" Peeta laughs, slightly confused.

"We need to clean your wound before it gets infected."

Peeta does as he is told, only removing the upper half of his clothing. He only removes the upper half for my own benefit; he knows how awkward I can feel around nudity. I lower him careful into the water, having Peeta put his entire weight onto me. The moment the water touches his wound I feel a sudden grip on my shoulders where Peeta's hands are. His face screws up to what can only be because of agonising pain and he lets out a short groan.

"I know it hurts but it has to be cleaned," I say.

"I know. I trust you," Peeta replies. He tries to smile but he is in too much pain to do so. I get Peeta to hold onto the side of the bank whilst I clean his wound. It looks even worse up close. You can literally see where the skin has been shredded. I know this won't heal. Not by itself. I look up the sky, hoping that the cameras are on me.

"Please Haymitch. _Please help_." I mouth. I hope someone helps us. I take some moss and damp it slightly in the water. I sponge it around the wound, noticing how Peeta's body tenses at every slight touch. I don't dare to actually touch the wound. It would cause too much pain.

"Are you finished?" Peeta asks.

"Yes," I reply. I help lift him out of the water before he sits himself up on the bank.

"It's freezing," Peeta says, "How have you survived the temperature drop?"

"With this," I hold up the orange coloured bark which Mags had got me earlier. Peeta eyes it suspiciously whilst shivering.

"Tree bark?"

"Trust me," I smile as I kneel down in front of Peeta.

"I always do," Peeta smiles back. I place the bark gently over his shoulders, trying to avoid the wounds which are on his back. Peeta flinches slightly but I can see a sudden dawn of relief written on his face as his body temperature returns to normal.

"Wait Katniss, this is yours, you'll freeze," Peeta states after a brief moment of silence.

"I'll be fine Peeta." I'm not 100% sure if I will, I can already feel my body temperature dropping quickly, especially because I have just been in the water. Peeta outstretches his arms for me.

"What are you doing?" I laugh.

"I'm sharing my body heat with you," he replies simply. I roll my eyes and rest my body against his. Peeta wraps his arms around me and I hold onto his hands. I feel instantly warmer by Peeta's presence. Inside and out. Peeta rests his head on my shoulder.

"I like the colour of this bark," Peeta comments quietly.

"I thought you would," I reply back, "Sunset orange, you're favourite colour." I tilt my head slightly to see Peeta's eyes looking at me with such content. I can't help but feel a sense of affection for him. Peeta's love is unconditional. Even when he is severely wounded he will still put me first. I know that we will die in a couple of days but I don't want Peeta to die in pain. As stupid as that sounds. I'd rather he'd die from a quick blow to the head or something. Not through slowly bleeding to death because of that wound on his back. It's hard to think that there are cameras on me and Peeta right now. Of course there would be. It's night time, nothing else would be happening. Plus, the Capitol love Peeta and I, so the thought that me and him may be reuniting our love would be perfect entertainment. Maybe though I can use this to my advantage. I can get Peeta the medicine he needs.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Better now that I've found you," Peeta replies honestly. He doesn't even need to try.

"I didn't know what to do when I saw you weren't here. I wanted to go find you but I couldn't... I have to protect Prim. But I just felt like-"

"-Katniss, you don't need to explain yourself. I know you have priorities. Prim is your priority. She and you are mine."

"Just don't ever leave me again, Peeta," I say. Perhaps I am exaggerating my feelings for the benefit of receiving sponsors, but part of me genuinely feels like I am speaking honestly. The truth is when I saw Peeta part of me felt happy. I'm not sure if happy is the correct emotion. Relieved? I don't know. I felt at ease. I didn't realise how much tension my body was holding but the moment I saw his face it was instantly relieved.

Perhaps it is because Peeta and I were in the arena before and that has created a form of bond between us. A form of connection. Or perhaps, maybe, I do truly care for Peeta.

"I promise I'll never leave you," Peeta replies. I rest my head against his chest, feeling Peeta's arms tighten around me. I can hear his heartbeat. We sit there in each other's presence for a brief moment until we hear a beeping noise.

"Look Peeta!" I exclaim. We both look up to see a small parachute floating down towards us. The parachute lands only a metre away from us. I reach out to get it, not leaving Peeta's side.

"Who do you think it's for?" Peeta asks.

"I don't know, both of us maybe?" I hope it's for Peeta. I hope it's the medicine he needs. I unscrew the lid to reveal a note.

_'It looks like you're not the only one who doesn't want Peeta to leave you.'_

_ -H_

Underneath the note is a small tub of medicine. It's not much but it'll do.

"It's medicine, Peeta!" I choke. I feel tears filling my eyes. I hold them back though. Now isn't the time. Peeta looks at me with disbelief. I remember last year in the arena Haymitch never provided him with medicine. I genuinely believed he was going to die at one point.

Peeta allows me to rub the medicine on his wounds. He exposes his back to me and it looks much worse than it did half an hour before.

"This is going to hurt," I warn before I touch the wound. I brush my fingers gently across the gaping flesh before pressing it firmly. I hear Peeta release a noise; his knuckles turn white as he clenches them.

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."_ That's all I say as I massage the medicine in. I don't want to cause him any unnecessary pain but I have too. It's the only way they will heal. It takes fifteen minutes but I finally finish the last of the medicine. I wrap some moss around Peeta's wounds which already look better. When I look at Peeta's face it is pale. The blood drain from it. I give him a kiss before forcing him to go to sleep. I don't know how much longer this night will last. I place the orange bark over him as a blanket.

I return to my original position by Prim, where I had abandoned my bow and arrows. I look at her face. She's smiling. I wonder what she is dreaming of? I'm glad that she is happy. I glance over at Finnick who is scratching his arm violently. I remember doing that in my sleep. I still do. It's when a nightmare is so excruciating you feel that your own skin is suffocating you. He begins to thrash. I can't take it anymore.

"Finnick, it's just a dream," I say, shaking him gently. Finnick's eyes shoot open. Alert. He looks like an animal afraid of being attacked. It takes a few seconds but he registers who I am.

"Nightmares?" Finnick nods his head slowly before sitting up.

"I just can't get her out of my head. Annie. She's all I can think about." I sit next to Finnick in silence, unsure of whether I should press questions. Sometimes people say things without realising who they are talking too. They say things out loud in hope of calming one self. Sometimes I will say things out loud. It's not because I'm crazy. It's because I'm afraid that my thoughts will make me crazy.

"Sorry," Finnick says to me. From the brief encounters I have had with Finnick he often seems ashamed of showing signs of vulnerability.

"You haven't done anything wrong," I reply.

"These Games have taken away everything that I love," he whispers in a hushed tone. I feel shocked by what he is saying. Isn't he scared of how the Games Maker may punish him for speaking in such a way? But then I realise that he's already receiving the ultimate punishment. Has he accepted the possibility that he may not come out of the arena alive? Like me, he may have already accepted his death. Now he is just counting down the days until it is all over. I'm unsure of what to say to Finnick, how to reassure him, comfort him.

"These Games have brought everything I love with me," I reply. I don't mean it in a sense of pride. I'm not trying to make him feel worse. Finnick looks up at me with an unusual expression. Admiration.

"I know you never volunteered your sister. She doesn't deserve to be here."

"There's nothing I can do to change the circumstances. I just have to hope that she will win."

"Well let the best tribute win," Finnick says, reaching his hand out to me. I take the gesture though I feel sick. _Let the best tribute win_. Even now that's all it's seen as.

My sister's life. A piece in the game. The Hunger Games.

**A/N- Thanks for reading! Please leave me a review and don't forget to 'follow'. More action will happen in the next chapter!**


	21. Chapter 21

It felt like I had only closed my eyes for a few seconds but when I next open them the scorching sun is cooking my skin. It's a vast contrast to how my body felt only an hour or so ago. So deprived of warmth and body temperature that I genuinely believed that one of my limbs might fall off. I sit up to notice Prim watching Johanna in deep concentration. She is carving one of the pieces of bark with a knife, making a type of animal. If I didn't know any better I would say that Johanna was enjoying Prim's company.

"Bweakfwast?" I hear Mags mumble to me.

"Thank you," I smile politely while taking the peculiar looking meat away from her. Mags flashes me her signature gummy smile before walking off. I look at the meat closely. I don't even know what type of animal it is. I don't even know if it's edible.

"It won't bite you, Catnip," I hear Gale say. I tilt my head back to see Gale looking at me, smiling. He comes and sits down next to me on the floor.

"Did you catch this?"

"Yeah. I used the new method of snare that Mags showed me. Works a treat. Go on. Try it. It tastes like wild Turkey."

"Sounds delicious," I reply. I eat the meat slowly, but to my pleasant surprise, it does taste nice. Similar to wild Turkey but more sour.

"Do you like it?"

"It's nice," I reply. Gale pulls a smile at me but it's different to his normal one.

"What's with the smile?" I ask.

"What smile?"

"That smile! The one on your face," I laugh.

"I don't know what you're talking about Catnip," Gale replies. His smile spreads even bigger. I can't help but smile too and before we know it we are in hysterics over nothing.

"You're crazy Gale," I laugh once more, hitting him lightly on the arm. Gale catches hold of my hand and looks me in the eyes,

"Only for you."

"And that was cheesy," I reply laughing before standing up. It's ironic. Although we are in the Hunger Games it feels more like we are at a holiday camp. Everyone is far too relaxed. There seems to be no general sense of fear that we could die at any second. Or perhaps that fear is so strong that we have just accepted it as normal. I look over by the water to find Peeta in deep conversation with Finnick.

"What time did he get back last night?" Gale asks while standing next to me.

"I don't know, not until late. He was badly wounded."  
"I know, he said earlier. We need to be careful of what is lurking in those trees, Catnip."  
"I know Gale," I say rather too harshly. I don't mean too. It's just I have been in the arena before. I was the last victor of the Hunger Games. I know how the arena works. How the Game Makers can make anything and everything out of thin air. And that's when reality hits me. We are in the Hunger Games. Not a holiday camp. Somewhere in this arena are other people who are searching the trees in hope of finding someone to kill. By the end of today at least one person will have died. Someone's daughter or son. Brother or sister. Worst enemy or best friend. By the end of the day they will be dead.

I pick my bow up from off the ground along with some knives.

"What are you doing?" Gale asks.  
"We're leaving in ten," I instruct. I pick up the backpack which Finnick gave to me when at the Cornucopia. All it had in it were three flasks, which I have filled with water, and a strange looking whistle. I put the knives in the bag before flinging it onto my back. I walk over to Prim who is still transfixed by Johanna's carving.

"Katniss look! Johanna's carved Buttercup!" Prim exclaims in delight.

"That's great little duck," I smile, "You better look after it, we're leaving soon."

"What? Leaving to go where?" Johanna scoffs.

"I don't know. But we agreed that our alliance was for one night only."  
"If that was the case then why haven't I slit your throat yet?"  
"I don't know. I've been beginning to ask myself the same question." Johanna narrows her eyes into slits at me before walking away.

"Fine. Leave. You'll be dead in ten minutes!" she exclaims whilst doing so.

We say our individual goodbyes to everyone. Apple breaks down crying, giving each and everyone a hug.

"Please be careful," she whispers to me whilst hugging me tightly. I'm unsure of what to do so just pat Apple lightly on the back. Gale pulls a face at me whilst I do so; I struggle to hold back the laughter. Johanna ignores our goodbyes, however I notice a glimpse of sadness appear within her eyes when Prim speaks.

"Thank you for the Buttercup carving. I love it. I've never been given a present so lovely before," Prim says quietly while holding the carving in her hands. I feel a sense of sympathy for Johanna. I don't know much about her apart from she has no family. I remember Effie saying that was Johanna's major strength, she doesn't feel emotional attachment to anyone. Well then why is she sad to watch Prim leave?

The goodbye with Mags is short and sweet, though Gale seems genuinely upset to be leaving her. The same goes for Sam, he wishes us the best of luck and gives me a hug. We save our final goodbyes for Finnick. I feel that out of the entire group Finnick was the one I had the greatest connection with. Even if it was just for a day.

"Keep strong Finnick," I whisper to him as I hug him. He tightens the hug slightly before releasing me. He knows what I mean by keeping strong. Not allowing the Hunger Games to break him.

"You too Girl On Fire," he smirks, "Make sure you look after Prim."  
"I will," I reply.

As we leave them I feel tears fill my eyes. I don't know why. Perhaps, in a weird way, I see them as family. It's a crazy suggestion being as we had only been with them on day. But that's what an alliance is technically. A form of family. I glance at Prim as we walk; she's holding the carving which Johanna made for her tightly to her chest. It's for the best that we leave. It's not smart being in such a large group. It'll make us more prone to an attack. Also, there can only be one winner and that will be Prim. If we form an alliance with them I would not be able to have the strength to kill them when the time comes. To be the person who makes their heart stop. I may be a tribute but I am still human.

We begin to walk up a steep slope and already Prim is panting. Peeta lifts her up, placing her on his back. I notice his body tense from the contact of Prim on his wound, but not as bad as it was last night. All of a sudden I hear a loud scream echo through the trees. It sounds a lot like Apple's.

"What was that?" Prim exclaims, her breath becomes short.

"Peeta stay with Prim, Gale come with me," I instruct. No one questions. We haven't time. A cannon is shot. My stomach plummets. Was that for Apple?

Gale and I begin running back to the bank where Apple and the others would be. I trip down the slope, twisting my ankle. Gale helps me up and we carry on running. I ignore the pain. If anything the pain encourages me to run faster. We hear someone shout. I think it was Sam. The cannon is suddenly shot multiple times. I feel physically sick. I can feel the small breakfast that I have had rising up inside of me.

We run out onto the bank to find Sam lying on the floor next to Apple. I can't see their faces. Do I want too? Are they dead? I hope not. They won't be. They can't be. I hear a noise.

I turn my head quickly to the left side of me. One of the male tributes from District 9 is coming towards me with a blood covered trident. Finnick's trident. With in seconds of seeing him I send an arrow flying through his chest. He collapses. A cannon is shot. I look around to see if I can see anyone else. I can't. Gale keeps lookout while I run to Sam and Apple. To check that they're alive. I kneel down on the ground next to them. I put too much pressure on my sprained ankle making me flinch. I touch Sam's face. It's still warm. I grab his wrist to find his pulse. I can't. I know it's a futile act but I go to check whether Apple's alive.

"Katniss-!" I hear Gale shout. I turn my head quickly to find the girl from District 9 standing above me. She holds a machete in her hand. I go to reach for my arrows but the girl sends a cut across the left side of my face. I feel my skin part. I can feel the blood. I feel the pain burn through my skin. The instant swelling. Though my attention is diverted from my wound. From my killer. It's diverted to the other tribute who stands only metres behind, perhaps from District 9 too, holding Gale back.

"Not so fast," the girl smirks, she glances back to the other tribute that is holding Gale then back to me, "I hope he cries when he watches you die." The girl looks young. 19, maybe 20? Yet she holds a sinister smile on her face. How can she enjoy torture? Death? She has no innocence. _Innocence._ Prim.

The girl raises the machete high, my blood glistens on the blade underneath the sun. She holds the position for a few seconds. Perhaps trying to build anticipation for the final blow that shall be the death of me. I watch, as the blade glides down swiftly, though it is as if I watch the event unfold in slow motion. Whilst the machete is still making its way to brace my body, Gale breaks free from the other tribute's clutches. He runs at us, tackling the girl to the ground. While mid-falling the girl twists her body. I watch the machete slice Gale's chest. I don't think. It's instinct. I pull a knife out from my bag and throw it at her. It impacts with the girl's head. I missed. I was aiming for her heart. I then shoot an arrow at the boy tribute. The one who held Gale back. The one who has witnessed the whole event. He dies before he even realises I had released the arrow. Two cannons are shot.

I crawl on my knees to Gale. My beautiful Gale. I throw the tribute's body off him. Pressing the knife deeper into her whilst doing so.

"Gale..." I hear my voice choke. It's barely a sound. Gale looks up at me.

"I'm okay Catnip," Gale smiles, wiping a tear from my face. As his body moves I notice a glint of red from his torso area. I divert my gaze. I can't look. I won't acknowledge it.

"You're fine. This is fine. It's just a graze. Just a cut. You've had worse injuries from hunting," I say. He's not fine. It's not just a graze. I'm lying more to myself than anyone else. I don't dare to look properly at the wound. I haven't the strength.

"I'm sorry," I hear Gale say. He's straining himself to even speak.

"You don't need to be sorry Gale, I'm sorry-"

"-I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you as much as I wish I could have."

"You can still protect me! You're not going anywhere!" I cry. I don't want Gale to protect me. I just want him to stay. I break down crying. My tears dripping on to Gale. "I'm sorry!" I cry even more, trying to wipe the tears from his face. I can feel my heart being slowly torn out of my body.

"Katniss, stop-" Gale says, he tries to reach his left hand to my face but hasn't the strength. I hold onto it though, bringing it closely to my lips. I can see the life fading from his eyes.

"I love you Gale. I love you. You can't go. You can't. Please stay. I need you."

"I love you Catnip. So, so much," Gale whispers. I'm barely able to hear him. He stretches out the index finger on his left hand, stroking my cheek gently. His breathing becomes heavy. I give Gale one last kiss. Crying while doing so. When I pull away Gale's eyes are still closed. They never open. _A cannon is shot._


	22. Chapter 22

_I went underneath the fence separating District 12 from the meadows, from freedom. I had gotten into a habit of catching animals from the forests to feed my family. Since my father had died it was hard to cope. We received little to none compensation. No income. I couldn't bare to watch Prim's ribs become even more defined._

_I didn't catch much within the woods, maybe an odd squirrel here or there. But it was enough. It was maybe the fourth, fifth time I had been in the woods without my father. It got slightly less painful each time. I was trying to find some game but it was coming into the winter months and it was much harder to be quiet. I remember seeing it though. A deer. The last time I had seen one was with my father, almost a year ago. I had my bow. My proper bow that my father had made me. I remember aiming it. Ready to shoot. ready to release the arrow. Until I heard someone shout at me,_

_"That's mine." The deer's ears pricked up, leading to the animal to run away quickly._

_"It's no ones now!" I scoffed, lowering my bow. As I did so the deer suddenly got pulled up into the air by a snare. _

_"Nope, still mine," I heard the person say. I turned around to be greeted by a pair of slate grey eyes. Those distinctive eyes. I think he was about fifteen when we first met. I was only thirteen. He seemed wary of me at first. I remember recognising him from the ceremony they held after the mine explosion. He collected his father's medal as his mother was too emotionally unstable to do so herself. _

_I didn't see him again until about a week later. I had shot a squirrel right in the eye. My aim was getting better._

_"Nice shot," I heard someone say. I looked up to find him sitting on a branch in the trees, setting up a snare._

_"Thanks," I replied before collecting the squirrel. For the next month incidents like that kept occurring. We would run into each other whilst in the woods. I didn't even know his name. I remember watching him through the trees, his snare had broken and a wild turkey broke free. I shot an arrow at it, killing the turkey. He looked at the direction where the arrow had come from but I hid behind a tree. I was embarrassed. I didn't want to seem like I was following him._

_"Are you going to show yourself?" He shouted._

_"No."_

_"Well how am I going to share this game with you?" he replied back. I walked over to him slowly. He handed me the arrow from the wild turkey, smiling._

_"I'm Gale," he said whilst plucking the feathers out of the turkey._

_"I'm Katniss," I replied._

_"Catnip? I haven't heard someone called that before," he questioned in interest. I began laughing. It was the first time I had laughed since my father died._

_"No, Katniss."_

_"I prefer Catnip," Gale smirked._

_From there on we formed a style of alliance. Helped each other with hunting. Shared game. We didn't become friends until after two months. Best friends after six. The woods were our sanctuary. A place of safety. We could say whatever we wanted without fear of punishment._

Agonising pain is all I feel. Numb. The cannon shot five minutes ago but I refuse to leave Gale's side. I cry into his chest, clinging onto his body with my hands.

"I love you Gale. I love you," I scream into his clothing. I'm crying hysterically. Practically screaming. I lift my face up from Gale's chest and feel his blood on my face. I feel physically sick and cry even more. I kiss his face and lips multiple times hoping that he'll come back. His eyes will open and he'll gasp for breath. That he's playing some sick joke. People die and come back to life. I've heard about it. Sometimes the heart stops for a minute or so. I look at Gale's once more. He looks happy. A smile drawn on his lips. I pull at my hair, screaming.

"I need you! I need you!" I can't breathe properly. My breath is short. I feel a new flow of tears fill my eyes and I place my face back onto Gale's chest. He's dead because of me.

"Katniss-" I hear someone say.

"I knew you weren't dead!" I exclaim, shooting my head up instantly to look at Gale. Though when I look at him his eyes are still closed. I know it was an irrational thought to believe that it was he who had said my name but my heart still sinks at the reality. He's dead.

"Katniss," I hear someone repeat. I turn round to find Peeta kneeling down next to me, his eyes filled with tears. He opens his arms, offering me a hug. Pitying me.

"Leave us alone," I shout at Peeta, pushing him, "_You've done this!_"

"Done what?"

"This! Gale is dead. If I had never have saved your life he wouldn't be here, would he? Prim wouldn't be here! I wouldn't be here! We'd be at home, hunting in the forests. Everyone would have been fine."

"Katniss-"

"I wouldn't have questioned my love for Gale like I did because of you. I would have known how much I truly love and need him and I would have embraced it. We could have got married and spent the rest of our lives together. This is your fault Peeta!" I scream. Once I release the first scream I can't stop. I begin pulling at my hair one more. Tears stream down my face but when they land on the ground they are red. My face must be covered with blood. I see the tears as a symbol of my heart. Torn apart. Bleeding. I can literally feel the blood dripping in my chest from where my heart should be. I feel Peeta's arms enclose around me, he pulls me into his torso.

"Get off me! Leave us alone!" I begin screaming, hitting his body. I have no energy though. No strength is in my punches. I am tired. So tired. My body is numb.

"No," Peeta replies firmly.

"Why?! Why won't you just leave me to be with Gale?!" I scream, still trying to push myself out of his grasps.

"Because Gale can't give you the support which you need right now," Peeta whispers. I begin crying hysterically, releasing a high pitch screech. He's right. Gale is dead. I want to be with him but I can't.

"I begged him to stay," I cry, "I watched him die. I witnessed his final breath. It should have been me who died!" Peeta simply strokes my hair with one hand whilst holding me with the other. His touch sickens me.

I hate Peeta. In my mind he's killed Gale. But in reality I know he hasn't. I have. My mind drifts to the face of Hazelle. How will she cope with her eldest son dying? Gale was the only support for that family. He was the only person who provided money and food. Who kept his brothers and sister from starving. His brothers and sister. How will they cope with watching their eldest brother die on national television? I begin to cry even more. I feel sick. Physically sick. I can smell Gale's blood on me. I push myself away from Peeta and run to the trees, I trip over due to my sprained ankle. I hunch over and throw up repeatedly until nothing can physically come out. I feel worn. Broken. I hear Peeta running towards me and I go to get up to run away. I collapse again. I pass out.

Images of Gale's death flash before my eyes. His final words.

_"I love you Catnip. So, so much."_

These are the only words I hear in my head. His voice. His face. His voice. His face. The machete. I'm prone to gaining nightmares but this isn't a nightmare. This is a memory. My own screams make me wake from the visions I was having. My eyes shoot open to find Peeta's staring back down at me. He's carrying me in his arms. I look around to find Finnick and Johanna walking slightly ahead. They're alive? How? I notice Prim sitting on Johanna's shoulders. She's turned her head to look at me with pure distress. Her eyes are bloodshot. She's been crying. I look at Prim and I remember why I need to be strong. For Prim. I can't shut myself out like Mother did. I feel empty on the inside. Hollow. If you were to cut me with a knife no blood would come out. I am dead. I turn my head from Prim. I don't want her to see me in this state. I feel regret for the harsh treatment I've showed my mother due to how she acted when father died. Only now can I understand to some extent the pain she must have felt. Still does.

"You can put me down," I say to Peeta. I say it harshly. I don't want him near me.

"You can barely walk on that ankle," Peeta replies not looking at me.

"I'd rather crawl than have you carry me."

"That'll just make us travel even slower," Peeta states.

"Put me down!" I scream, hitting Peeta's torso multiple times, I begin crying. Both Finnick and Johanna stop and turn around.

"Fine!" Peeta shouts, putting me on the ground. I stand up but my ankle gives in from the strain. "I told you! You can't stand on it!"

"I don't care. I don't want you anywhere near me, Peeta," I exclaim. I push him away from me and I begin hopping, trying to keep my balance. I look over to Finnick who has his trident.

"Can I use that?"

"What?"

"Your trident. I can use it to support my ankle."

"No."

"Why?"

"I need it to protect us in case there's an attack."

"Because you were so good at that before," I snarl. Finnick's eyes flash with a sense of anger which I have never seen before.

"Johanna, Peeta, go on ahead. We'll catch up in a minute," Finnick instructs. Johanna and Peeta do as they are told without asking questions. Peeta doesn't even look at me as he walks past me. However, I notice Prim keeping glance back at me as Johanna walks away. Tears escaping her eyes.

"You're not the only person who just lost someone, Katniss," Finnick says the moment they are out of earshot. I look at Finnick properly in the face. His right eye is swollen, his lip and forehead cut. Part of me wonders how he's still alive. I was certain that he and Johanna were dead.

"I watched Gale die, do you even know what pain I am going through?!" I exclaim. I can feel anger rising up inside of me. It's the only emotion which takes the pain away for a few brief seconds. Anger.

"I don't know what you're going through? I witnessed my brother die, I think I have some idea what you are going through," Finnick replies bitterly. I feel my eyes widen in realisation. The pure ignorance which I have shown to Finnick. I make myself feel sick. I begin to lose balance from standing on one leg and fall to the ground. Finnick looks at me. Not with anger. With pity. "There's nothing more I want to do right now than release my anger on anything and everyone. But I can't. I have people who rely on me. Prim relies on you." The sound of Prim's name emphasises how selfish I truly am being. Yes the pain caused by the mourning which I am feeling is excruciating. But what has happened cannot be changed. I can relieve the memory a thousand times within my mind. Thinking of the possible outcomes which could have occurred if I had reacted differently. But the outcome will not change. Gale is dead. And he's never coming back.

"Finnick, I'm so sorry, I forgot-"

"You knew this was going to be an outcome if you wanted Prim to win. People are going to have to die. Gale had to die."

"I just love him so much," I say under my breath.  
"I know it's hard, Sam was my best friend too."

"No, I loved Gale more than a best friend, Finnick." Finnick simply pulls me a sympathetic expression. He doesn't believe me. He doesn't think I'm old enough to know what true love is. Just because Gale isn't his precious _'Annie' _or whatever her name is. He believes that he's the only person to ever have experienced love. That obviously no one can feel it too. I feel anger rising in me once more. But I know that my irrational emotions aren't because of Finnick. It's due to mourning. Finnick offers me his trident and we begin walking to catch up with Johanna and Peeta.

Finnick tells me how the tributes from District 9 had been watching us since the early morning. They waited until the moment which we left until they attacked. They attacked Apple first, being the cause for the scream which I had heard. Sam attacked that tribute though, killing them. They were the first cannon shot. Sam then ran to protect Apple whilst the male victor from District 9 attacked Finnick and Johanna. He stabbed Johanna in the ribs which lead for Finnick to lose concentration. He wasn't sure if the wound was fatal or not. It was in this split second that the victor kicked Finnick in the ribs, winding him. The victor then pulled the trident from Finnick's grasp, hitting it against his face before shooting it through Sam and Apple.

"Me and Gale must have arrived literally seconds after you had escaped," I say. Saying his name out loud makes my chest tighten, my eyes burn with emotion. But I need to stay strong. I _have_ to stay strong. If things go right, I'll be back with him by the end of the week.

The ground is soft and the trident keeps getting stuck into the ground.

"Has it rained?" I say while pulling the trident out the ground with both hands. I stumble slightly, putting too much pressure on my ankle. I let out a small yelp. I'm not even sure if it is sprained anymore, broken more like.

"I'm not sure, I don't think so," Finnick replies. He looks over at me to see how much I am struggling to keep balance, let alone walk. "Come here," he says before carrying me on his shoulders like he did with Mags. Mags…

"What's happened to Mags?" I say while wrapping my arms around Finnick's neck.

"I'm not sure, we lost her," Finnick says quietly.  
"How come she's in the arena? Was she the only female victor from your District?" I question. I feel Finnick's body tense slightly.

"No, it's because of Annie." I hear the guilt, pain, in Finnick's voice. The same pain I feel when I mention Gale. Gale. I try blocking his image away from my mind. I need to be strong.

"Who is Annie?" I ask. I've been wondering this for weeks. When you listen to Finnick, to what he says, he often mentions a girl named Annie. Though I've never seen time right to ask who she actually is.

"She's a girl," Finnick replies bluntly. Perhaps now isn't the right time. A silence develops between us for a brief minute. "She's the most perfect girl in the world, Annie is. She's from my District, won the Hunger Games."

"I've never seen her mentor at previous Hunger Games?"  
"She can't. She has a conscious. I remember meeting her in the Victor Village, I heard her screaming one night. She was having nightmares. I broke down the door to her house, it was horrible. I had to throw water at her to wake her up; her eyes were like a wild animal." I can imagine. I remember the nightmares which I would have; the only way they would stop was when Peeta would hold me. He'd make me feel safe.

"I began visiting her more often, keeping her company. She had shut herself off from the district, she barely ate. I like to believe she felt safer around me; I began to see her personality. Her laugh is beautiful. When she laughs her eyes sparkle, she's just beautiful. We became inseparable quickly. She stopped having nightmares and I became less disgusted in myself. Less disgusted in my actions. We needed each other. Mags volunteered to go into the arena so Annie wouldn't have too."

Though I hear the pain in Finnick's voice, I hear the joy over being able to reminisce over Annie. To think of her. Memories are our greatest tools against evil, for they remind us that everything has a silver lining. The Hunger Games is a horrible, vindictive event promoted by the Capitol but through it Finnick met Annie. The love of his life.

"It's the vulnerable people who experience the most honest love," Finnick comments, "They don't care for looks or money; they only care for honesty and support." Finnick is right. Gale and I, we never needed money, we didn't care for looks either… we only cared for each other. Supporting each other. If one of us were injured or ill, the other would hunt to provide for the family.

Gale was my Finnick and I was his Annie.

**A/N- I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) The next one will be more interesting! Please leave me a review x**


	23. Chapter 23

We finally catch up with Johanna, Prim and Peeta who are resting near a tree. I notice that Peeta glances at me for only a brief second before looking away. Good. I don't want him looking at me.

"Has the drama queen finally had a reality check?" Johanna glowers when she sees us. I go to spit venomous words at Johanna. It's like a natural instinct which your mind and heart does when it tries to heal after a loss. It releases hate filled words. I want to shout at Johanna. Scream how she doesn't know what love is, that she doesn't have a family and that she would never know what pain I am going through. That I don't need a reality check, it's she who needs it. That she hasn't got anything or anyone to lose and that I don't know why she is even with us. That I hate her and wish she was dead, not Gale.

"Yeah I have," I simply reply. Perhaps Johanna can sense the pain in my voice, the bottled anger, for she drops the conversation. Finnick puts me on the ground and Prim comes running over to me, hugging me tightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I hear Prim screech; "He's dead because of me!" She begins crying hysterically. I begin crying hysterically.

"No, he's not Prim. Of course he's not. It's my fault. Misjudgement of the situation. It was my fault," I cry. Both Prim and I begin crying to one another, saying how it was our fault that Gale died. I love Prim. So much. Her tears give me a reason to cry. As we hug I feel more arms embrace around us. I look up slightly to find Finnick hugging me, he's crying too, though not loudly. Prim and I cry even louder, I feel more a need to be loud to allow Finnick a chance to secretly release his emotions without being branded as weak. I notice Johanna too, she's hugging Prim. Why? She loves no one so why does she care so much for Prim?

When we finally pull away I look up to find Peeta is missing. Where has he gone? He could get hurt… but I don't care if he does. Gale is dead because of him.

"Guys, look what I've found!" we hear Peeta shout.

"Is he trying to draw attention to us?" Johanna remarks. We begin walking in his direction. I place an arm around Prim who offers me support. I need to rest my ankle, I'm a disadvantage otherwise. Useless. That's what I am. I can't walk, let alone run on this ankle. I'm just baggage. We find Peeta a few yards away.

"It's a cave!" Peeta exclaims in delight, "Katniss needs to rest her ankle. We can stay here the night, keep hidden."

"Good job Peeta," Finnick smiles while patting him on the back. Finnick goes into the cave, along with Johanna and Prim. Prim looks back at me excitedly, she's never seen a cave before. Yes, we learnt about them back at school but many people from the Seam never actually get to see one in person.

"Are you coming Katniss?" Prim asks.

"I'll stay here for now," I reply back. Prim smiles before walking into the cave. I sit on the ground due to the pressure on my ankle, giving it a chance to rest. Peeta stands awkwardly a few metres away. Neither of us makes eye contact.

I can't help but think back to last year in the arena, how Peeta and I shared a cave with one another for days. That's where our 'relationship' truly began. Now look at us. One year later and I cannot stand the sight of him. I guarantee the entire audience of the Capitol have their fingers crossed that Peeta and I's love shall be rekindled. I'm sorry that I'll disappoint them.

Night draws in quickly, the day seems shorter to that of yesterday. We sit inside the cave; Johanna has lit a fire to keep us warm.

"If only Mags were here, I could do with some of that bark," Finnick laughs softly whilst warming his hands over the fire. Peeta picks up a knife.

"I'll go fetch some. How much do we need? 5?"

"Are you stupid? You don't know who or what is out there. It's dark," I comment.

"Why do you care?" Peeta replies.

"I-I don't," I answer, realising that I am supposed to hate Peeta. Peeta leaves the cave without saying another word.

"How much longer is this going to last?" Johanna scoffs while throwing some dried leaves into the fire.

"What?"

"You 'hating' Peeta. I get it, you're sad that your bit on the side is dead. Boo, the Girl on Fire has lost some extra attention. I just don't understand what Peeta has done."

"How dare you!" I shout. I jump up off the floor, ready to hit Johanna. Johanna rises from the ground too, welcoming the fight.

"Katniss-!" Prim exclaims in distress.

"He wasn't my 'bit on the side'. Gale is the love of my life. How dare you speak about him in such a way, he hasn't even been dead a day!" I shout.

"Katniss be quiet," Finnick hisses, trying to pull me to the ground.

"Get off me!" I exclaim, pushing Finnick off me. I can feel the anger rising inside of me once again. I can feel all self-control being lost.

"You're nothing but a little girl who doesn't know what she's got," Johanna scoffs in my face.

"I know what I've got. At least I've got someone. Who have you got Johanna? Who have you got?! No one! Because no one wants you! No one loves you!" I shout once more. Johanna doesn't reply. Her facial expression doesn't change. I simply feel an impact of force hit the right side of my face. A sharp pain. I can't see but I can imagine that a red mark has instantly appeared. She then walks out of the cave without saying a word. I place my hand over where Johanna slapped me, slightly shocked. In a way, I feel as if Johanna has slapped some sense into me.  
"Why did you say that, Katniss?!" I hear Prim cry. I look over to my little sister and see my reflection within her tear filled blue eyes. The fire illuminates me. I look like the Girl on Fire but for all the wrong reasons. In her eyes is the first time I have seen my overall reflection since being in the arena. My left cheek is swollen due to the cut from the machete, my right cheek red from Johanna. My eyes are puffy from all the tears I have cried. My hair is untamed due to the amount of times I have been pulling at it. Though someone has cleaned the blood from my face, there is still red stains from where it once was. Who's blood is it? Mine? Gales?

As I look at Prim I feel pure disgust fill inside of me. I have turned into a savage beast.

"I'm sorry," I comment quietly. I go to brush a strand of hair from Prim's face but she pulls away. I feel crushed. She looks at me as if I am a stranger. Perhaps I am. I look at Finnick who simply shakes his head at me before staring into the fire.

Johanna and Peeta return back with the orange bark an hour later. We sit around the fire once more, wearing the bark as an extra form of insulation. There's conversation, though it is forced. I remain isolated from it though. Uninvolved. I stare at the ground, thinking of Gale. Thinking about how much I miss him. Need him. He'd be able to keep me under control. I regret what I said to Johanna though I am too stubborn to apologise. She insulted me first; in my view her words were harsher. Prim falls asleep in Johanna's lap as she strokes her hair. I feel sad. Prim is my baby sister, not Johanna's. It should be comforting Prim, not Johanna. It should be me that Prim wants to be comforted by, not Johanna. I can't stand to look at them.

It isn't long until Prim has fallen asleep.

"You guys may as well go to sleep, I'll keep watch," I say.

"I don't think that's a good idea. You're not in the right state of mind," Finnick says.

"I am. I won't be able to sleep anyway," I comment. Finnick raises an eyebrow before allowing me to keep guard. I sit at the edge of the cave, staring out at the trees. I hear the others in the background rustling, before falling silent. Falling asleep. I can hear the fire crackling slowly in the background, dying down. I take the orange bark away from me, allowing the icy temperatures to wash over my skin. It makes my body feel numb, the lack of body heat. It not only makes my body numb, but my heart too.

Before my eyes, the night sky becomes a projection board, showing the faces of the fallen. None from District 1 or 2. A volunteered girl tribute from 3. Sam and Apple's face then appear in the sky for District 4, but no Mags. That means she is still alive. None from District 5, the other Morphling from District 6 flashes on the screen. I think back to the first Morphling to die from yesterday. Stuck in quicksand. Though he wouldn't struggle. Perhaps hoping someone would save him. There is no humanity in this arena. All the tributes from District 9 flash on the screen, I feel sickened by the sight of them all. Especially the one girl, who name was Charmaine, the holder of the machete. She is the one death I shall not feel mercy for. The projections then go straight to District 12, straight after that girl. Gale's face is projected on the sky. His face. His beautiful face. I reach up to grab it. But before I can the image disappears. I begin crying, resting my face in my laps. Trying to muffle the sounds.

"Are you okay?" I hear someone say. I look up to find Peeta sitting next to me. I wipe a tear from my face.

"I'm fine," I answer. We sit there in silence. Not speaking.

"I'm sorry," I hear Peeta say. I look up at him to see him looking at me desperately, "I'm sorry that you've lost Gale. I wish it was me who had died so you wouldn't be feeling this pain. I'm so sorry Katniss." I look at Peeta. I look at the tears in his eyes. The pure pain and distress etched on every inch of his face and I realise. He never killed Gale.

I didn't kill Gale. Prim never killed Gale. That girl didn't even kill Gale. It was the Games which killed him, the Game Makers. It should be them that I hate. Not Peeta. Not the one person who has been constantly trying to support me.

"Peeta-"

"I regret you not killing me last year in the arena when you could have. I know you wouldn't be here Katniss. Prim wouldn't. You're right, I did kill Gale. This is all my fault. Apple and Sam have died because of me too. All of this is my doing. I'm so sorry Katniss!" Peeta begins to break down crying. He covers his face in his hands.

I know that the cameras have cut away from us. They wouldn't air what Peeta has just said. I watch him. I feel disgusted in myself. People are right about me. I am selfish. My heart aches to the core over the loss of Gale but Finnick is right, people have to die. Prim is the winner. We all have to die. I'm releasing my angers, my despair of Gale's death onto Peeta. But why? Because I know he will take it. He wouldn't shut me out like other people. I could push him away a thousand times but he would come back to me a thousand times more. His love for me is unconditional.

I wrap my arms around Peeta, pulling him into my chest. I can sense confusion in his movements before he wraps his arms around me. I embrace him tightly, kissing the top of his head. I've forgotten how cold I am until I feel the radiation of heat off Peeta.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to Peeta whilst resting my head on his hair. We tighten our embrace; I run my fingers through his delicate hair. I need him just as much as he needs me.

I hear the words form on my lips. _I love you._ Though I don't say it audible. I love you. I love you. I love you. I could say it a thousand times but it'd never be audible. As I gain the strength to say it loud enough for Peeta to hear my voice becomes muted.

_A cannon shot deafens my voice. Our embrace is suddenly released._

**A/N- Don't forget to 'follow' this story and please could you leave me a review. It lets me know if you guys actually like this story**


	24. Chapter 24

"Peeta!" I exclaim, grasping his face in my hands. Peeta also grasps my face in his hands, analysing every inch of it with his alert blue eyes. I dare not release my breath. I slowly slide my hand down his face towards his torso. I imagine seeing the wound which Gale held. I imagine seeing blood seeping through the thin material, to then look at Peeta and see the life fade from his eyes. But I see nothing.

Peeta is also checking my body for wounding. He finds none.

"Peeta!" I cry once again, this time out of pure relief. I begin sobbing into his shoulder. I really believed that I had lost him for a brief second. I am barely able to live without Gale, how would I survive without Peeta? I know I am selfish. I know I am weak. But I am only human. My mentality cannot physically take anymore grief, anymore sorrow.

My mind then begins to wonder who that cannon was shot for. A previous victor? A tribute? How did they die? Was it a knife? A hammer? Or brutal contact? I try to take my mind away from these thoughts.

"How's your wound?" I ask Peeta, already pulling the bandages away from his back.

"Better I think, Prim's tended to it a little," he comments. Peeta is right. The wound only looks like a scratch, no longer the fatal injury which it was yesterday. I run my fingers over it. Peeta flinches but not out of pain.

"Your hands feel like ice," Peeta says. I sit back in front of him, pulling my orange bark over myself. "Are you okay?" When Peeta asks me this, I simply look at him. What does he mean? As in mentally or? I think my look of puzzlement is recognised by Peeta as he expands his questions, "Your left cheek is the size of a rock bun."

"You're comparing my face to a baked good?"  
"I'm a baker's boy at heart," Peeta smiles innocently. I laugh lightly at his comment. Though the sound is alien to me. Laughter. I feel as if I am insulting Gale's memory through my laughter. My life should only endure horrendous misery. Sorrow should be the only emotion which I express. Not laughter.

Silence falls between us once more and I return to staring at the trees. I wish I was back in District 12. I wish I was able to hunt, to just run free. In the meadows of District 12 I did not feel restricted. I knew that the reality would always be I'd return back to District 12. But when in the woods you had the opportunity to run. To run for a chance of freedom. Your chances of actually achieving were very little, but still there was a chance. However within this arena there is no opportunity. If I was to run now with Prim, we would just be restricted by the Games Makers. They would prevent our escape. Create a tidal wave to wash us away. They'd rather kill us than allow us to escape. Of course they would. It's even stupid considering that we could run away. But my mind still wonders…what if?

I feel Peeta's hand reach towards mine and I am brought back to reality. Our fingers intertwine and we sit just there. Watching the world pass us by. We sit in silence for a further ten minutes; listening to the leaves rustle in the wind. The calling of birds from one to another. We let this form of tranquillity wash over us. We then hear a peculiar noise. It's from an animal; a human wouldn't be able to create this. It sounds almost like a high pitch screech combined with the backing sound of a motorbike engine. I think nothing of it; it is probably some genetically altered animal which the Capitol has created. However I notice that Peeta's body tenses all together.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Shh," Peeta replies back, "Get into the cave. Now." I do as I am instructed, Peeta follows closely behind. He covers the simmering ashes of the fire with his piece of bark.

"Lie down," Peeta whispers to me. I do as I am told. I can see the sense of urgency within in his eyes, even when we are almost in pitch black. Peeta lies down next to me quietly; his breath becomes sharp, uneasy. I hear that noise once more, the high screech, it sounds closer. I think I know why Peeta is so afraid. I look over at him, his wounds are still exposed. Is that the sound of the beast which attacked him? I reach for Peeta's hand, which he squeezes tightly. His palms are sweaty. If I was closer to him I would be able to hear his heartbeat. We wait. I hear the noise again. It's even closer. That's when I see it. The beast which Peeta described to me.

It stands near the entrance of the cave, though it doesn't look inside. Its eyes are bright yellow with red pupils. It looks ill, infected with some disease. I wouldn't put it past the Game Makers to have it actually infected with a disease. Make our deaths even worse. The beast is around 6ft tall; it's hard to tell in the dark. It has the snout which would belong to a bear, though teeth which would belong to a tiger. Its claws are about 5inches long. Jagged. Black. No wonder Peeta's skin was so badly shredded. I can't see the fur properly, though I can make out distinctive silver stripes throughout. This animal is not a natural creation. It has been genetically manufactured.

The beast glances into the cave. I hold my breath, tightening my grip on Peeta's hand. I notice its eyes narrow, though it doesn't seem to be able to recognise anything. It moves away from the entrances ready to leave this section of the arena. I feel relief wash over me. I'm about to release my breath. Until I hear Prim scream. She must have woken up. Seen this animal. Not understand. Perhaps she thinks she is still dreaming? She won't stop screaming. Prim stop screaming! I want to scream that at her but I can't. It'll provoke the beast even more. Everyone is awake. Johanna has covered Prim's mouth with her hand. I've been so focussed on Prim I've forgotten about the beast. I look at Peeta to see the pure fear in his eyes. Do I dare look? I turn my head slowly towards the entrance of the cave. The moon casting a new form of light. Guarantee the Games Makers have made the light brighter to make us more visible. The beast has passed through the entrance, its yellow eyes illuminating my vision. It walks slowly towards us, its teeth on show. Blood dripping on them. Fresh blood. I sit up, and grab my bow and arrow. I release an arrow but it simply bounces off the beast. Breaking on impact. This provokes the beast, making it release an even more ear deafening sound. I cover my ears, afraid that the beast may actually be able to deafen them. Prim begins to cry. The beast is only meters away. It looks at Prim. Its eyes weighing her up. I can't take it. My sister. My little duck. I shoot another arrow, hitting the beast directing in its yellow eye. It turns its attention to me. Blood seeping from its right eye. It charges towards me, throwing me against the stone wall. I hit my head, reopening the wound which Brutus created with his hammer at the Cornucopia. The smell of blood drifts towards the beast. His left eye changes colour to a dark purple.

"Katniss get out of there!" I hear Peeta shout. I look over at him. He's blurred. I think I have a concussion. I look for Prim. She has escaped out the cave with Finnick and Johanna. I look back towards the beast and feel its claw impact my body. I scream. I try to crawl away but it pulls me back towards it. This is how I will die.

I try to reach towards my bow, my fingers stretching towards it for dear life. I finally grasp it. I intertwine my fingers around it, pulling the arrow towards me. I can feel the beast lifting me up in the air. I feel my hair fall forwards. The blood rushing to my head. I try to grasp the bow firmly in my hand. I try to reach for an arrow from my shaft. The beast slings me forward. I shield my face with my arms; the impact of the stone floor is piercing. Perhaps I am in shock, or it is my concussion, but the pain does not distract me. I barely feel it, though I know I should have. I pull an arrow from my shaft, feeling myself being pulled into the air once more. The beast pulls me up, dangling me over its mouth. Its breath makes my eyes burn, as if it was acid. I see its teeth up close. They look unnatural. The creature's tongue is a dark silver colour, its saliva glows in an unnatural manner. I position my bow and without thinking release my arrow. It glides down the beast's throat. I'm unsure of where the arrow landed, due to it being internally, but the beast throws me to the ground out of pain. It releases a roar, making the very foundations of the cave shake.

Whilst the beast is distracted I go to crawl away. I am only metres away from safety until I feel claws wrap around my wounded ankle. I scream out. The pain is excruciating. The beast once again dangles me in the air, putting all my weight onto my ankle. I am positive it is broken. If it wasn't before, it defiantly is now. I can barely see through the tears which have formed in my eyes. The pain is unbearable.

"Katniss!" I hear Peeta shout. I look up to see him standing in the cave entrance. The moonlight bouncing off his body. Perhaps it is because of the pure pain I am enduring, or maybe I have actually gone insane, but it looks as if Peeta is shining. Physically shining. My eyes meet his; I feel my body get hit against the side of the cave wall. I feel blood trickle down my face. I no longer care. I simply am this beast's toy. I want to die. I can no longer endure this pain. Prim will be safe with Johanna and Finnick. My eyes lock with Peeta's.

"Keep Prim safe," I mouth. Peeta shakes his head at me. I feel a tear escape.I am barely conscious; the beast's grip on my ankle tightens even more. It is as if I can feel the bone shattering underneath my skin. I stare at Peeta though. He will witness my death. Soon I will be with Gale. As I watch Peeta I notice him pulling a silver object to his mouth. A whistle. The same whistle which came with the backpack which Finnick gave me. He blows into it, creating such an intense high pitch sound which I am barely able to hear.

The beast instantly releases my leg, dropping me to the ground. I hear it scream in pain, covering its ears. Peeta blows harder. The beast begins to cower in the corner as Peeta nears it. Unable to attack. Peeta increases the intensity of the noise of the whistle whilst sliding a knife out of the bag which he is wearing. I try to keep my eyes open. Hoping to witness the fatal blow which the beast shall endure. But I am unable too. My eyes are so heavy. They fall closed. My pain stops.

_I think I am dead._ My dreams are distorted. They range from me going hunting with father for the first time. To singing at a school assembly. To the day when we found out father had died. To me starving. Peeta giving me bread. Me going hunting. Meeting Gale. Prim's face when I first brought Gale home. Mother's face when I first brought Gale home. Hazelle's face when Gale first brought me home. Prim's name being called out at reaping. The instinct which came over me, _"I volunteer. I volunteer as tribute!" _The Capitol. The Hunger Games. Training. Peeta. Rue. Losing Rue. Almost losing Peeta. Saving Peeta. Winning the Games. Losing my freedom. The Quarter Quell. Prim being forced to volunteer. _"Katniss." _Prim crying because of Buttercup. Kissing Gale. Giving Peeta a makeover. _"Katniss."_ Arguing with Effie. Arguing with Haymitch. Arguing with everyone. Cinna. _"Katniss, please wake up…"_

My eyes delicately open, though shut instantly to the brightness of light.

"She's awake!" I hear Prim cry. Prim! My eyes shoot open instantly. Prim looks at me, her eyes are so bloodshot. She's holding onto my hand. How long have I been asleep? I hear footsteps run towards me. Next thing I see Peeta, Finnick, and even Johanna, looking down at me. I go to sit up but they don't allow me too.

"You've been badly wounded," Finnick says. I force myself up so I am able to assess the damage. My left ankle isn't the colour it should be. It's mostly blue and black. I feel like Octavia with her tattooed green skin.

"Is it broken?" I ask.

"Yes," Prim squeaks, "I'll be able to mend it temporarily so you can walk on it lightly." I smile at Prim, grateful for her help, before looking at the rest of my body. My clothing has tares throughout, though the gaps are filled by deep wounds. My ribs ache; I think one may be broken. I don't want to comment on this though; we haven't got time to be playing healers. Various parts of my body are swollen, my right hand being the worst. Blisters and scabs cover the entire hand.

"It's not that bad," I smile.

"You can handle quite a beating," Johanna says.

"Once you've taken a slap from Johanna, nothing else can compare," I reply. We all laugh by my comment. My ribs hurt from laughing but I try to ignore it.

"Katniss, I'm afraid I've got bad news," Peeta comments.

"Don't tell me you've befriended that beast and decided it's the love of your life and not me?" I question. Again we burst out laughing. After what has just happened, I think laughter is the only medicine. Peeta pulls from behind his back my bow. Or what remains of it.

I gasp at the site of it. I don't know how to survive without my bow; it is my strongest form of defence. Peeta places the bow in my hands. I run my fingers over the broken pieces of wood, touching slightly the splintered pieces. I feel saddened by the loss of my beloved bow. Though I will survive.

"Looks like you're going to have to give me your trident from now on," I say to Finnick.

"Just because you've destroyed your weapon doesn't mean you can destroy mine," he remarks. I simply pull a grin at Finnick before sitting up properly off the ground.

I feel happier after that attack. A strange emotion to be feeling, I know. It's just, Finnick and Johanna, they didn't leave me and Prim to die. They saved Prim. Peeta came back for me. We all knew that would happen, but I saw how terrified he was of that beast. I had accepted the fact I was going to die. Peeta saved me. And he will always save me. Perhaps, I am wrong. I feel guilty for even thinking this thought, but I think I understand why Finnick was reluctant to accept my statement that Gale was the love of my life. I do love Gale, but was I in love with him? Perhaps that is why I pushed Peeta away so harshly. Because he makes me question my love for Gale. Finnick didn't accept my statement of me being in love with Gale because he sees I am in love with Peeta. Perhaps everyone can see it but me? I think back to Prim, she had said regularly that I was different around Peeta. I was relaxed around Gale but happier with Peeta.

Then I think back to Finnick. How he described the love which he and Annie held. When he told me, I forced Gale into the role of Finnick. Reality is Gale never did half the things for me which Finnick did for Annie. I wouldn't allow him too. I wouldn't allow myself to be that vulnerable with Gale, to allow him to know about my nightmares. But I did with Peeta. Peeta would hold me when my nightmares were excruciating. Not forcing me to sleep alone. Peeta doesn't just love me for me. He loves all the traits which I possess. My singing, my smile, my eyes, my hair, my laugh. I only know this because Peeta says in passing comments, though I tend to overlook them. I feel as if I am insulting Gale's memory to even be thinking in such a way, but perhaps Gale always knew too?

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks, breaking me free from my thoughts. I look up at him, seeing Peeta in a new light.

"Never better," I say before leaning up and giving Peeta a kiss on the cheek. He's surprised by my action before placing his hand over where I had kissed him. I glance over at Finnick who simply smiles in an approving way.

**A/N- Thanks for reading my story. Please leave a review and don't forget to 'follow'. I thought i'd make the ending of this chapter a bit happier, due to the all the intensity of the previous ones **


	25. Chapter 25

I'm not sure where Prim gets her initiative from. There is barely anything useful resources within this arena, however, Prim is still able to mend my ankle temporarily. She's tied a long stick on the inside of it, wrapping moss around it multiple times. She's also rubbed some flower pollen into my skin.

"It'll stop the swelling," Prim states as she notices my questioning eyes. It's weird watching my sister mend my ankle. I'm supposed to be looking after her, but it's she who is looking after me. When healing, Prim's face changes, like how mine does when I hunt. Pure concentration, 100% focus, no distractions. I admire Prim. My little duck. I know she will be fine returning to mother after the Games. I know she will be able to handle it.

Johanna and Finnick have left Peeta, Prim and I by ourselves whilst they go to try find food. I wanted to go with them; I hate feeling like I'm just baggage to this group. We sit under a tree, in the shade, in a futile attempt to try keep out of the sun. However, it seems that the sun's rays are able to find you, regardless of where you are. You could be 100m under water and the sun rays would still be able to make it feel as if your skin is boiling.

"You need to rest," Prim states, noticing that I am fidgeting with an arrow in my hand.

"How are you going to shoot it anyway?" Peeta asks.

"I'll find a way," I reply. I look up at Peeta and smile, he smiles back at me. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder, as he wraps his arm around me. Prim looks at us and smiles to herself before drawing patterns in the ground with a stick. I look around at the colourful trees, thinking of the vibrant painting which Peeta painted in Art at the beginning of the school year.

"Do you remember that painting?" I ask Peeta.

"Which one?" He replies whilst watching Prim draw.

"The one you did at school. Of us in the Capitol."

"Oh yeah," Peeta replies, registering the memory in his mind, "They thought I was having some break down."  
"You must have been spending too much time with me."  
"I could never spend too much time with you," Peeta replies passively. I feel my cheeks burn slightly from his comments, though I don't know why. Peeta always says stuff like this, so why am I blushing? Unless my cheeks are just genuinely burning from the intensity of the sun's heat.

I stare at the colourful trees once again, the colours flickering from Orange, Green, Red, Silver, Pink, Purple, Blue.

"Hmm," I say under my breath.

"What's up?"

"I'm just thinking…"

"About what?" Peeta asks with interest. He brushes a strand of hair from my face so he is able to see my eyes better.

"Well you know that orange bark creates heat? What do you think the other colours create?" Peeta looks at me as if I have just found the cure for the common cold.

"You're a genius!" Peeta exclaims before standing up. He picks up a knife before carving a piece of bark from the tree which we are leaning on. It's green.

It takes Peeta ten minutes to carve a reasonable piece of bark away from the tree. Ironic how Mags, an 80year old woman, would be able to have ripped the bark away from the tree within ten seconds. I wonder where she is. I hope she is okay and safe.

Peeta places the green bark in my lap, revealing a slushy green substance within it.

"What is it?" Prim asks, prodding the slush with her stick. I place a finger in it, raising it towards my nose.

"It smells like…_vegetables_," I say slightly surprised.

"Vegetables?" Prim says in disappointment. It's nice to know that although we may be starving to death Prim is still a child who hates her vegetables. I try a little bit of the slush and the taste of salad fills my mouth. It's almost refreshing.

"It's tasty," I say, "Try some." I offer the bark towards Peeta who tastes his portion cautiously. I watch as his facial expression changes from uncertainty to delight. He goes for a second portion.  
"Go on Prim," I say, wafting the bark in front of her face. Prim screws up her face, giving a defiant no.

We discover that red bark holds the substance of strawberries. Prim has only tried them once whilst making our way to the Capitol. She loved them then and she loves them now.

"Peeta, please can you cut me another bark?" she asks, fluttering her eyelashes.

"You'll make yourself sick, little duck," I reply. Prim looks at me disappointedly, though she knows I am right. I remember the first night on the train, making our way to the Capitol, Prim threw up twice. She ate too much food, obviously her stomach was not used to that much. It was very rare for anybody within District 12 to have a full stomach.

The purple bark contains grape liquid. I made Peeta cut down five pieces of purple bark, allowing each of us to parch our thirsts. Prim found the silver bark most useful, it contains a form of medicine. Nothing like the sort which was sent to Peeta and I to help heal his wound. More like a cosmetic form of medicine. Prim dabs some of the silver goo onto my right hand. I watch as the cuts seem to vanish within seconds, along with the swelling.

"It's like magic!" I exclaim, admiring my hand from every angle. It looks brand new. Not like the hand which I had only seconds before.

"I don't think it would work on deep cuts," Prim states. We test out whether it does on a cut near my wounded ankle. Prim does it lightly, trying to avoid any unnecessary pain. A lot like how I was when trying to clean Peeta's wounds. Prim is right though. The silver goo makes little to none impact on my wound, apart from making it sting more.

However, the most important piece of bark, in my view, is that of the blue. Like the orange bark, it works as a form of protection from the weather. Thankfully it protects us from the sun. I place the blue coloured bark over my skin, instantly feeling a sense of coolness relieve my skin.

It isn't until another hour until Johanna and Finnick return.

"We only caught two birds, I don't know if they're edible though," Finnick says. He looks absolutely exhausted. I feel guilty. I've been sat here under a tree, not lifting a finger, whilst Johanna and Finnick have been trying to provide for us.

"We've found grape juice," I state, trying to raise their spirits. I notice Johanna's eyes widen in delight.

"Where?"

"Inside the purple tree bark," Prim chirps. She hands Johanna and Finnick who gratefully gulp it down. I can tell that they are instantly refreshed.

"We've found some type of strawberry substance in the red bark too," Peeta adds. He gets up and cuts five pieces. One for each of us. Prim has finished her portion within seconds and is already asking for more.

"No Prim," I reply as she looks at mine. I look away for a split second to then find that Peeta has given Prim his portion. "Peeta. She'll get sick."

"How can you say no to that face?" Peeta questions whilst pointing at Prim. I look over at her to find her pulling the most pitiful puppy dog eyes ever. I simply roll my eyes. We decide to feast on the substances which the bark provides for dinner. Simply because we are unsure of whether the meat is edible or not. You can never be too careful in the Hunger Games.

As night rolls in, Peeta carves us out more orange bark to wear. We decide that we shouldn't stay in one place for the night. I raise myself off the ground, sheepishly putting weight on my wounded ankle. I flinch, but it isn't as painful as I expected it to be.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks me as we begin to walk.

"Yeah, it just hurts a little," I reply. Somehow Peeta's hand finds mine and our fingers intertwine. We begin walking, having Finnick lead the group. I feel somewhat scared walking around this arena in the night. Not due to the other tributes. Them I could take on. However, if another creature was to attack us like the beast from last night, I don't know if I would be able too. The ground once again begins to become muddier. More force is needed to pull my feet free from its clasps. I feel Peeta slide in the mud, pulling me down with him. We burst into laughter, until Johanna hisses at us in a sinister way. We try to stifle our laughs, though that fails when we look at one another. We begin giggling like children. Half of Peeta's face is casted in mud, I'm pretty certain that mine is no better. Prim laughs along with us and I even notice Finnick smiling slightly.

"If you want to get us all killed, please, carry on laughing," Johanna glowers once more. We all stop laughing instantly; even Finnick's smile is washed from his face. Peeta and I get up off the ground and begin walking once more.

We don't really know where we're walking too. All we know is that we cannot stay in one place for a certain amount of time. The Game Makers wont allow it. They will smoke you out of your area, towards the direction of other tributes. I look up at the sky, seeing the trees over casting my view. Even in the dark you are still able to see the vibrant colours of the trees etched. It's almost like being in a wonderland. I run my hand over one of the trees, embracing each rigid indent. It reminds me of the bow which father had made for me. It wasn't perfect, but it was the imperfections that made it so. Each indent, each splinter, it made my bow unique.

We walk for a further ten minutes; I can sense dehydration coming over each and everyone of us. I still have the flasks of water in my bag but they are only for emergencies.

"We could use one of the tree barks," Finnick suggests whilst holding a tree branch back to allow us to walk easier on the path. I look to Johanna to see whether this action would please her. Judging on her facial expression it does. Both Peeta and Finnick take a knife to carve some purple bark.

"Carve some of the strawberry one too!" Prim interrupts.

"No little duck," I laugh. Me and Johanna watch patiently as the boys carve the bark. I can feel my need for liquid overcoming my body. I wait eagerly. Almost anxiously. We agreed that none of us should drink until all the bark has been cut.

"Prim, you'll be happy, I've cut you some strawberry!" Peeta comments whilst pulling the last piece of bark off the tree. I smile to myself though Prim doesn't reply.

"Didn't you hear Peeta, Prim?" I ask. Still no reply. I turn around to find that Prim has disappeared. "Prim? PRIM?!" I exclaim. Urgency over comes my body. Peeta drops the bark to the ground.

"She's gone?!"

"I don't know where she is Peeta!" I scream. I start crying. "PRIM!"

"She can't have gone far, she was just here!" Finnick adds.  
"We're wasting time," Johanna barks. My thoughts start swimming within my head. My small sense of control has broke down. I can't function. "Prim!" I scream once more. What good will this do? None. None at all. I need my sister.

I hear Johanna talk. Giving instructions. I don't listen. I look at the ground, hoping to see some clue. And I do. The ground is muddy. I see footprints heading north. They might not be Prim's but it's the only thing I have to go on. I begin running. Running as fast as I can.

"Are you mad? You have no weapons!" Finnick shouts after me. I hear footsteps closing in behind me. Those belonging to that of my allies. I keep running. I just keep running north. Every second counts in this arena. I haven't heard the cannon shot. Not yet. There's still time.

"Katniss!" I hear someone call out. Not just someone. A little duck.

"Prim!" I scream. I turn my head urgently. Trying to find the direction which the sound came from. Being a hunter I find this easier to do compared to other people. I begin running in that direction. I can see the outline of two people. I pull an arrow out of my shaft, reaching for my bow…. I don't have a bow. I technically have no weapons. Only that distinctive, natural protection which overcomes me every time Prim is in danger. And that is good enough.

I push myself through the tree leaves, holding the arrow in my hand, ready to stab it into whoever has taken my sister from me.

"Katniss, he's hurt," I hear Prim say. It takes my brain a few seconds to register what is going on. I lower my arrow, returning it back to my shaft. I look to find a young girl, around my age, sitting on the ground, crying, next to an older boy. Prim is crouched down next to the boy. I hear Peeta, Johanna and Finnick nearing. I need to warn them before they attack.

"It's okay! It's okay! Prim's safe," I call. Finnick lowers his trident, though Johanna still holds a knife tightly in her hand. They make their way through the trees and I notice the same look of puzzlement register on their faces.

"I'm sorry," the girl calls, "I'm sorry for taking your sister."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't cut your throat out right now," Johanna snarls. Prim's eyes widen in alarm.

"She wasn't trying to hurt me!"

"How do you know?!"

"I needed _help_. I still do!" The girl interrupts, teary eyed. I look to the boy on the floor; he looks the same age as the girl. He's badly wounded.

"What happened?" I ask.

"This creature attacked us. Cloward shielded me so I-", the girl cuts off mid sentence, bursting into further tears.

I recognise the girl. Her name is Jade from District 8. She holds the darkest brown eyes I have ever seen on a person. I remember watching her interview with Caesar Flickerman. She was so charismatic, so genuine. She didn't need to try winning over the audience of the Capitol like I did. It's no surprise that Cloward would sacrifice his life to save her. Cloward is another volunteered tribute form District 8, though he never really stood out to me. I wouldn't have known his name unless Jade hadn't have said.

"Is there anything you can do?" Jade asks Prim hoarsely. I watch as Prim pulls open a deep wound on Cloward's chest with her fingers delicately. My first instinct is to gag. Not only from the sight of the exposed fleshed but due to the sickly aroma which has developed. I notice Peeta turning his back on the scene, unable to handle the graphic images. Johanna doesn't flinch in the slightest though.

"Is there anything?" Jade repeats. I can sense the desperation in her voice. My hatred for this girl soon fades away. She wasn't trying to harm my sister. Not in the slightest. Was this Cloward her Gale? Or maybe just a friend. All she wants to do is save his life.

"I'm sorry," Prim squeaks. I see tears fill her eyes as she reaches a supportive hand out to Jade. Jade begins crying hysterically, clasping the hand of Cloward in her's.

"This is my fault!" Jade screams. Tears trickling down her face, "Please God, keep him safe! Please!" I feel my throat choke. Tears fill my eyes. It's like witnessing myself lose Gale all over again. I crouch down next to Jade, pulling an arm around her.

"I'm sorry for taking your sister. I-I just knew what a good healer she is. I heard her voice. I- I just wanted to save him!" Jade screams. I hug her tightly, stroking her hair. My eyes travel to the body which is lying on the floor. The cannon hasn't shot. Cloward must be in agonising pain.

"It's not your fault," I whisper. Looking at Jade with such intensity. I can see her hanging onto every word I say. My eyes flicker back down to Cloward. His body is mangled. It can barely even be described as a body. Just scraps.

"Do you want me to end his life?" I ask quietly.

"What?" Jade asks in confusion. She pulls away from me slightly.

"He's in pain Jade. Look at him, he's just experiencing unnecessary pain." Jade looks to Cloward, stroking his face with her index finger. I can barely watch.

"I'll do it," Jade replies quietly.

"Are you sure?" Jade simply nods her head. I get Peeta to hand me his knife. His hands are trembling as he hands it to me. Tears in his eyes. I look at Prim. Tears are flowing down her face.

"You don't have to witness this," I whisper to Prim. She simply shakes her head, stroking the hair of Cloward out of his face.

I watch the struggle which Jade faces when trying to force herself to end Cloward's life. The struggle between the head and heart. Jade knows that taking Cloward's life is the best decision, though her heart isn't willing to let go. I admire Jade. Her struggle. Her determination to save Cloward. I reflect on my final moments with Gale. How I just sat there. Helpless. I had already accepted his fate. I didn't try to save him.

"I love you Cloward. I'll see you soon. We'll be eating jam sandwiches in the sun. Your favourite," Jade whispers. I don't think she wanted anyone to hear this as she kisses Cloward gently on the cheek. I feel guilty for hearing those final words. As if I have invaded her privacy. But then I remember we're in the Hunger Games. This is being televised live right now. I take a deep breath.

Jade raises the knife in the air and pushes it into Cloward's chest. A cannon shot is sounded instantly. Jade releases a high pitch cry which kills me inside. It is the sound of the heart dying. I burst into tears, along with Prim, Finnick and Peeta. Johanna still remains strong, though I know there are tears in her eyes. Jade begins screeching, her words are barely understandable. All I can hear is _'Please God, have mercy on his soul. Oh God.'_

I then watch as the knife rises once again. I feel the words form on my lips. _'Don't do it.' _I can feel my body moving. Trying to prevent the action from happening. Though I fail. Jade pushes the knife into her chest, directly where her heart is. Unable to live in the world which has just been created for her. Her eyes meet mine. I don't see pain or sadness though. I see happiness. Virtue. Jade collapses on top of Cloward. A smile spreading across her beautiful face. Her brown eyes glowing in a form of perfection which could only be captured through art. A cannon is shot. Prim screams at the witness of suicide. Though I don't see it as suicide. I see it as self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice of love.


	26. Chapter 26

We walk in silence. Leaving the scene behind us, but unfortunately not the memories. Prim cries silently to herself and I don't stop her. I feel detached from my body. The feeling of numbness conquers me once more. Images of Jade's death flashes in my mind. Combined by the images of Gale's death. There is no humanity in these games. Every tribute has somebody or something to lose. They are all fighting for something. Some are just fighting for the gift of life; others are fighting for the protection of others.

Finnick has completely shut himself off from the group. Johanna tried speaking to him but he simply ignored her. I wish I knew what was going on inside of his head. The thoughts, the images. Is he thinking of Annie? How she would react if he were to die? I reach my hand out, grasping Finnick's tightly. The touch of human flash seems to snap him back into reality. He looks at my hand in confusion, his eyes look glazed.

"We'll be okay," I say under my breath to Finnick. He squeezes my hand tightly and doesn't let go. People often overlook Finnick, due to how famous he is. I remember Effie commenting on how the entire Capitol loves him due to his looks. He is beautiful. But there is more to Finnick than that meets the eye. He is broken, damaged. And no one seems to give a damn. All these years when I would watch Finnick on the television, he has just been forced to perform to the audiences. Only now can I see the real Finnick. Tired. Anxious. Unstable. He has been treated as the Capitol's sex toy for far too long.

We set camp in a cluster of trees for the night. I strap the backpack around Prim and the branch, which she is on, for safety because I haven't any rope.

"What if I fall?" Prim says anxiously.

"You won't fall," I reply. I look at Prim's eyes; they are so big, so alert. I kiss her gently on the forehead before climbing to my branch and falling asleep. I am so exhausted. The moment which I close my eyes, I drift off into a deep sleep.

I am woken up by something hitting my face. I open my eyes slightly to see Johanna looking up at me from the ground, holding a rock.

"Did you just throw a rock at me?" I question in confusion.

"I'll throw another if you don't hurry up," Johanna calls. I rub my forehead, feeling a small bump which is slowly rising on my temple. I look around to find that all the others are still asleep. I climb down the tree quickly, jumping at the last 1 metre.

"You'll end up breaking your ankle if you keep doing that," Johanna comments.

"I forgot about my ankle," I reply. I feel stupid. How could I forget that my ankle, is technically, broken? Prim has only fixed it temporarily. I should be much more careful.

"Follow me," Johanna instructs, walking off in front of me. I pause for a second, still in confusion, before following Johanna.

"I couldn't sleep so I went out exploring," Johanna calls from in front, she looks over her shoulder to see if I am following.

"Did you find anything?" I reply.

"You're going to love it," Johanna answers. Our short chat is over. We remain walking in silence for the rest of the journey. The further we walk, the thicker the trees begin to go. The trunks becoming wider. The air feels fresher. Johanna seems almost giddy with excitement as we near whatever she has found. As we near it I hear a sort of crashing sound constantly in the background. I begin to feel nervous. What has Johanna found? Our concepts on what a good thing is are both rather different.

Johanna suddenly stops, making me stumble slightly. She turns round, looking at me, a wide smile spread across her face. It's scary how happy Johanna looks.

"Are you ready to see it?" Johanna asks me.

"I think so…" I reply sheepishly. Johanna simply rolls her eyes before pulling back the vast leaves which are covering whatever it is she has found. As the leaves are pulled away, my eyes widen in disbelief.

This is where the crashing noise was created from. From the sound of water crashing. I stare at the crystal blue water falling from the cliff, into the blue lagoon at the bottom. I have never seen a waterfall like this before. It looks like paradise. I take a deep breath, inhaling the pure fresh air. A new form of energy seems to be created from within me. I don't know how large the waterfall is. 30ft? 40ft? However big it is, it is simply breath taking.

"I wonder what is on top of the cliff?"

"Nothing," Johanna mutters, "It's just a cliff. A dead end."

"Then where does the water come from?" Johanna shrugs her shoulders. I suppose nothing needs to make logical sense in this arena. Especially when it has all been specially designed by the Games Makers.

I walk over to the water, seeing my reflection crystal clear for the first time since the games have begun. I look like a savage. I dunk my face into the water, which is also refreshing. I spend five minutes scrubbing the mud and blood away from my face, trying to get into every pore. I wash my hair too, ridding it of the smell of dried blood and dirt. I tie it back whilst wet into my signature braid.

"I could never braid my hair," Johanna comments passively.

"My Mother taught me," I reply. I look over at Johanna who is sitting metres away from me, cross legged by the water, staring at her reflection, poking it every few seconds. "Can I ask you something?"

"Depends what it is," Johanna comments.

"It's about Prim." Johanna looks up at me, her eyes narrowing defensively.

"What about her?" I pause for a second, thinking of a way to word my question without offending her.

"It's just you like Prim, I didn't think you liked anyone?"

"I don't."

"Then why were you sad the first time Prim left? Why have you always been there to protect her?"

"Because-"

"-Because what?" I question, pressing further on the topic.

"Because Snow is doing exactly to Prim as he did to my sister!" Johanna screams. I fall silent. I wasn't pressing on a topic. I was pressing on an emotional wound. The cameras are not on us. Never would they air the negative words against Snow. Johanna begins to breath heavily. I can literally see the wall which she has built around herself crumbling.

"I was fourteen when I was reaped for the Hunger Games. No one thought that someone from District 7 would win, especially not a girl like me. I portrayed myself to be weak, almost starving to death. This allowed me to trick people easier. I wasn't so vulnerable," Johanna replies, smiling to herself at the thought, "I won the Games. Snow wasn't happy. According to him I had cheated by tricking the other tributes. So, he killed my mom as a form of punishment. To try keep me in line. That didn't work so he tortured my little sister, Pansy, she was only eleven. I remember being allowed to visit her. It was like watching someone literally fade away. She was so thin. Every bone defined…" Johanna pauses for a brief second. I watch as she relieves the meeting within her head. Her facial expression changes to one of despair. I think this is a memory which she has kept blocked for so many years. Johanna begins to speak once again, though she doesn't look at me, "She barely knew who I was. She was terrified of me. They had tampered with her mind, made Pansy believe I was some monster. Some murderer. That I had killed our mom. She didn't want to look at me. Begged the guards to take me away… it was the last time I saw Pansy. She died a few weeks later. Probably because of the lack of food she had received. Snow didn't even allow me to have a funeral for her…When I look at Prim, I see Pansy. My sister. I see the situation which Pansy could have been in. The alternative. I couldn't protect Pansy but I'm going to protect Prim with my life," Johanna replies. A silence develops between us. I feel tears in my eyes, both from Johanna's story and her dedication to protect Prim. Yet, when I look at Johanna there's not a single tear in her eye. Only anger. Hatred. Hatred towards Snow.

"I'm sorry," I say. My voice is hoarse, breaks slightly at the end. Johanna's eyes shoot up at me like daggers, but soften slightly.

"Look, if you tell anybody what I've just told you, especially lover boy, I'll cut your throat out and force feed it you for dinner," Johanna states.

"Deal," I reply. And just like that, Johanna rebuilds her wall. Shutting anyone and everyone out.

We return back to the others, who are still asleep. I look up at them, slightly envious. If Johanna had never thrown that rock at me I could still be sleeping… though a nightmare probably would have woken me up.

"Peeta," I call. Peeta's eyes open, looking around in confusion.

"Katniss?" He says.

"Down here," I reply. Peeta looks down, noticing how much cleaner I am, "Get the others up. Johanna's found something brilliant." Within five minutes we are repeating our journey back to the waterfall.

"What time were you up?"Peeta asks.

"I'm not sure, Johanna threw a rock at me."

"Get over it," Johanna states. I notice her counting on her fingers; I wonder what she is calculating. By looking at the position of the sun, I think it is mid afternoon. Night should come soon. Peeta carries Prim on his back. She is completely exhausted. I brush Prim's hair slightly whilst walking next to Peeta. She has fallen asleep.

"I wonder what she's dreaming about," Peeta comments.

"Probably Buttercup," I answer. Peeta laughs, we both know that the actual probability of Prim dreaming about Buttercup is strong. I wonder what Buttercup is doing right now. Probably sculling around District 12, missing Prim. If Mother wont be there emotionally for Prim, I'm positive that Buttercup will.

Finnick is still slightly hostile to the rest of the group, though I notice a certain sparkle return to his eyes when he sees the waterfall.

"Is it safe?" He asks.

"Well I've washed my hair and it hasn't fallen out yet, so I think so," I reply. Finnick grins widely before jumping head first into the lagoon. I wake Prim up from her sleep. She looks at the waterfall in confusion, not understanding if it's actually there or if she's dreaming or not.

"It's real Prim," I smile. Prim's eyes widen in delight, running over to look at the water. She's never seen a waterfall before. Finnick keeps diving into the water, pulling up types of herbs from the bottom.

"I wish I could swim," I hear Prim mutter.

"You're a little duck. I can teach you how to swim," I smile. Prim looks up at me, her eyes as crystal as the water next to us.

I learn that Peeta is also unable to swim, so Finnick and I decide to give them a training course in swimming. Johanna sits on the side, laughing at Peeta's failing attempts to keep afloat.

"Peeta, listen to what I am saying! Push the water away with your arms like this," I do the action mid air, "and then kick your legs. You're just making splashes."

"You're making it hard to learn," Peeta scoffs as more water goes into his mouth.

"Well Prim has picked it up," Finnick replies. I look over at Prim, who is doing her fourth length of the lagoon. I grab Peeta's hands whilst Finnick grabs his feet, guiding his limbs to perform the correct movement. Johanna bursts into hysterics though when Peeta kicks Finnick in the face by accident.

"Sorry! So-" Peeta shouts whilst being submerged by water. I can't help but laugh too, Finnick's face is priceless. I can feel Peeta floundering under the water; he has yet to reappear above water. Finnick shakes his head before pulling Peeta up from under water by the scruff of his clothing around his neck.

"I-almost-drowned-!" Peeta gasps.

"How can you drown? The water is only waist deep!" Finnick asks. Peeta looks at us in confusion before noticing that both I and Finnick are standing in the water. Peeta stands up too, embarrassment masking his face. Johanna bursts into further laughter. This is the best entertainment we've had in a while.

"Does anyone else smell that?" Prim calls.

"Smell what?" I ask. Our laughter stops.

"It smells like smoke," Prim answers. I take a deep breath of the air, inhaling the smell of smoke. Where there's smoke there must be a fire.

"We'll be safe here. We're in water," Prim reassures. Prim's words fail to reassure us though. Peeta, Finnick, Johanna and I are all previous victors. And when there's a fire in the Hunger Games, there can only be one reason for why._ To smoke out the tributes._

"What should we do?" I say quietly, I don't want to alarm Prim.

"They're obviously going to go to where water is," Finnick replies. I see pure concentration written on Peeta's face. Trying to think of a solution.

"Take Prim to the top of the cliff," he says.

"What?" I reply.

"If you take Prim to the top of the cliff, we can stop anyone from attacking her. We won't give people the chance to climb the cliff to attack her."

"That could work," Finnick adds.

"But what about you guys?" I say.

"Take Prim. You don't know how much time we have," Johanna instructs. I look around at the group. Afraid of what may await them. I give Peeta a last kiss before taking Prim out of the lagoon.

"Where are we going?" she asks me.

"They want us to climb the cliff, she how far away the fire is," I reply. Prim nods her head, accepting my lies. I feel guilty for lying but telling Prim the truth will only panic her. She wouldn't want to leave the others behind. I don't want to leave the others behind.

A lot of energy is needed to climb up the cliff, though we manage. The view from the top is breathtaking. I am able to see almost the entire arena from this position. As I look though, I notice a raging forest fire circling around the waterfall. This is defiantly a smoke out.

"The sun must have caused it," Prim comments, looking at the true size of the fire. I envy her naivety. Within seconds of literally reaching the top of the cliff, a tribute emerges from out of the forests. We are high up, though we are still able to witness what occurs. Finnick releases his trident as soon as the first tribute emerges, a cannon is shot. Peeta runs over quickly to take the weapon from the tribute's hand, giving it to Johanna. I watch Johanna throw the weapon in the air before catching it again with the same hand.

"What is it?" Prim asks, squinting her eyes.

"I think it's an…_axe_?" I reply, uncertain. It must be. It is the only weapon, other than a knife, that Johanna views as decent. An axe is her iconic weapon. Three more tributes appear. One throws a blade which misses Peeta only by inches. I feel my nails digging into my skin. I feel helpless. Pathetic. I need to do something. Someone is going to get killed.

"Stay here," I instruct Prim.

"But Katniss-"

"-Stay here. No matter what. Just stay here. Promise."

"I promise," Prim replies.

I decide that the quickest way to get down to the bottom is by jumping into the lagoon. I stand near the edge of the waterfall, feeling the spray of water hitting me in the face. I turn my shaft around the front, so I am able to cling onto my arrows as I fall. I hear a cannon shot. I look up instantly to see Johanna pulling her axe out from someone. I look back down to the bottom of the lagoon. I've never been great with heights.

"Peeta look out!" I hear Finnick shout. I haven't got time to waste.

_"1…2…3"_ I whisper before forcing myself to jump. As I glide down in the air, ready to the hit the surface of the lagoon, a form of adrenaline rushes through my body. My vision becomes cloudy. It is as if time has slowed down. Reality is that within seconds I have been submerged by the water. It pierces my skin from the impact, damaging my wounded rib even more. I feel myself gasping for air. I kick myself up from under the water, embracing the first few precious gasps of air which I have. I look to find that more tributes have emerged. Though Finnick and Johanna are doing fine, Peeta seems to be struggling.

I dive under the water, pulling up some of the goopy herbs which Finnick had found earlier. I stay hidden within the water. Not yet discovered. I feel like I am hunting. Stalking my prey. Ready to strike in any second. A cannon is shot. Another tribute dies. I pull myself out of the water, throw the herbs into the vision of a tribute who is about to strike Peeta with a club. The herbs temporarily tampers with their vision. In this time I pull a knife out from the bag which Peeta wears and throw it at the tribute. They drop dead. A cannon is shot.

"Katniss, what are you doing?!" Peeta says in alarm.

"You were struggling," I comment whilst pulling the knife out of the tribute along with their club. I look around to see Johanna throwing her bloody axe at the final tribute. A cannon is shot. A sinister smile scrawled across her face.

From the left I hear another noise, another tribute emerging. Finnick doesn't think. He reacts by instinct of sound, releasing the trident instantly. It hits the tribute, sounding the cannon shot instantly.

"No!" Finnick screams, running over to the tribute. He pulls the trident out from them, throwing it to the side. He begins crying hysterically, "I'm sorry! I didn't know!" I walk over to Finnick with Johanna, whilst Peeta goes to fetch Prim.

Finnick kneels on the ground, pulling at his hair. Tears dripping down his face. I look over his shoulder to see the gummy smile which I have been missing. I look over and see Mags.

**A/N- Please don't forget to 'follow' this story and please could you leave me a review. I really love reading what you guys think, it really motivates me **


	27. Chapter 27

"Finnick," I whisper, placing my hand lightly on his arm. Finnick looks up at me, his eyes bloodshot. A single tear trickling off his cheek. I look at him, trying to find some strong words of support to offer him. But I can't. I look at Finnick and cry. We hold each other in one another arms, crying. I can't help but think of Gale, how fond he was of Mags. I remember noticing how sad Gale just to say goodbye.

"We have to go," Johanna says whilst walking towards us. I look up at Johanna, my vision slightly blurry from my tears. I was expecting to see the usual scowl which Johanna has written on her face, however what I do see is sympathy.

"She had sacrificed her life the minute she volunteered for Annie, Finnick. It was better that you ended her life instead of someone who didn't even care for her," Johanna adds. Finnick stands up, rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

"You're right. She knew I wouldn't have purposely done this," Finnick replies. He gives a heavy sigh. I can still see the strain on his face. The grief. The regret. He picks up his trident, barely looking at it, before washing the blood off in the water.

I look up off the ground, away from Mags, to see Peeta and Prim walking towards me. I greet Prim with a hug, telling her how much she means to me. The loss of Mags has shown me how valuable the last few hours we have with one another are.

"I love you too," Prim squeaks whilst I suffocate her with my affection. I kiss her multiple times on the head, running my fingers through her delicate hair. Once I release Prim she walks over to Johanna. I watch my sister, half expecting to see a little ducktail as she walks away. Like I did at the reaping last year.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks me quietly.

"I will be…but I'm not sure about Finnick," I reply. Peeta glances over at Finnick, the expression of concern written in his eyes.

"What did you two talk about the other day?"

Peeta looks at me in confusion, "When?"

"The second day, when we were all still here," I reply, "You were sitting next to Finnick by the water. It looked like you two were in deep conversation."

"Oh!" Peeta states in realisation, "He was just telling me about Annie."

"What was he saying?"  
"He said that he didn't originally like Annie, he found her quite odd in fact. Then one day she just 'crept' up on him and he couldn't get her out of his head. And I said that I felt the exact same way about you." I look at Peeta, I can feel a small smile spreading across my lips.

"And what did Finnick say to that?"

"That I should never let you go."

"Would you ever let me go?"

"Only if you wanted me too," Peeta replies sweetly, holding onto my hand, "I'll always love you but I'd never force you to love me."

"Well it's lucky that you don't have to force me then," I say. I stand on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around Peeta's neck. I stare deeply into his eyes before giving him a kiss. Peeta tightens his embrace around me, not wanting the moment to end. But it has to end.

By dusk we have already begun walking once again, away from the waterfall, away from Mags. Finnick talks to us, though his voice is hollow. There isn't that spark in his eyes which I have grown accustom too. The games have broken him. I want to put Finnick out his misery. Send an arrow through his head, if only I had a bow. He's suffered too much already. We'd be able to cope by ourselves. We'd survive. I just don't want Finnick to suffer anymore.

The air is thin due to the smoke from the forest fire. Prim still believes that the reason for the fire is because of the intensity of the sun, I haven't got the strength to take away her innocence. To explain that it was the Game Makers who created that fire for their own entertainment. I look over at Johanna to see her counting on her fingers once more.

"What are you doing?" I ask. Johanna looks up at me, losing concentration.

"I'm counting!" she replies in frustration.

"Counting what?"

"The amount of tributes dead." Prim trips up slightly when Johanna says this, not watching where she's going. Peeta picks her up with one arm, placing Prim on top of his shoulders.

"How many are dead?" I ask with curiosity.

"36 I think," Johanna replies, "They're really getting through us this year."

"Well there's more of us," Finnick states hoarsely.

"So that leaves 12 tributes?" Prim questions.

"7 if you take away us five," Peeta adds. I feel a sense of hope ignite within myself. There are only seven tributes left. Seven more people need to die then Prim has won. Officially won.

"Who are the seven tributes left?" Peeta questions.

"_The Careers_," Johanna replies grimly. That sense of hope slowly fades. There are seven brutal, trained killers in this arena. Hunting us down. And if I know how the Hunger Games works, we shall be crossing paths very soon.

"If we're going to beat them I'm going to need a bow," I state. Projecting a form of confidence that I wasn't even aware I held. Finnick glances up at me, a small smile spreading across his lips. I continue to speak, hoping to motivate the others, "I'm not going to let us come all this way to fall down at the last hurdle. I'm not going to allow Gale, Sam, Mags and Apple to die in vain."

"Katniss is right," Finnick states, he sounds like his old self, "There is only seven left. We can do this."

"Yes we can do this, I get the point. Can we stop with all this cheery, soppy motivational stuff? We're killing people, not trying out for the school play," Johanna scoffs. Finnick laughs at Johanna's comment, which makes her break into a smile. I often wonder what their relationship is. I know that Finnick's heart belongs to Annie but how did his and Johanna's friendship develop?

"So how are we getting you a bow?" Finnick asks me.

"Well it would be great if Haymitch could sort something out," I say loudly, turning my head to the sky, giving a wink. I wait a few seconds though no parachute arrives. I'm not surprised.

"What's plan B?" Peeta laughs.

"I could try making one… I know how. It won't be very good though, I've never been good at carving."

"I can do it," Johanna offers. I think back to the carving of Buttercup in my bag that Johanna did for Prim. The intricate detail. She'd do a better job than I.

"Would you know how?" Finnick asks, burrowing his eyebrows. Johanna rolls her eyes, slightly insulted. She doesn't need to give a worded response. The simple look in her eyes is a defiant yes.

We agree that Johanna shall make my bow. I go off to find resources that could be used for the bow's string. I insisted on going by myself, not wanting anyone to get injured if I was too be ambushed, but Peeta is reluctant to leave my side.

"I almost lost you once, Katniss" Peeta states, looking at me with such a burning intensity. My mind flashes images of when the beast attacked me. The helpless look on Peeta's face as he witnessed the attack. I know I wouldn't allow Peeta to wander the woods by himself. Especially not in this arena. I allow him to come with me. Finnick wants to come as well, though I instruct him to rest. He has been through too much today. If Finnick isn't physically drained, well then he certainly is emotionally.

Night begins to draw in quickly as Peeta and I walk away from the group. I feel an unease overcome my body. As if something is going to happen. The pain in my ribs reoccurs once more, making me flinch with every step. Somehow Peeta's hand finds mine through the darkness and our fingers intertwine. After everything that has happened, after all the foul venomous words that I have spat at him, Peeta is still able to love me. He's seen me at my worse and accepted me with open arms.

As the darkness grows, I find it harder and harder to be able to see my surroundings. I know Peeta is struggling too as he stumbles every so often.

"Are you okay?" I ask him as he trips up for the seventh time.

"Yeah, I've never been light on my feet," Peeta replies. I laugh lightly at his comment, agreeing entirely. I remember last year in the Hunger Games, yes Peeta's leg was injured, but I have never heard somebody walk so loud. Perhaps it is because I am use to the stealth which both Gale and I posses, needed in a quality hunter. And Peeta is not a hunter. He is a baker. He trips up once again and I feel his hand slide from mine.

"Peeta?" I call. No reply. "Peeta?!" I call once again, a clear sense of urgency in my voice. I squint my eyes, trying to see through the darkness. I can't see Peeta. Where is he? Where has he gone? I feel my breath shortening. My heart rate increasing. My eyes darting around the darkness, hoping to see a shadow. I walk slightly, losing my footing and fall.

I don't hit the ground for a brief time; I simply roll down a hill, damaging my ribs even further. Due to the darkness I am unable to see where I actually am. My body becomes disoriented. Suddenly I feel myself impact with water, losing my breath quickly. I push myself up out the shallow water, though a disgusting taste fills my mouth. My gag reflex reacts naturally, though nothing comes out my mouth. I physically have nothing in my stomach.

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta call. Frantic splashing of water follows his voice.

"Peeta?" I reply, crawling my way through the water, hoping to find him.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know, I'm in water," I reply. Not very useful. But I am unable to see. I am in complete blackness.

After ten minutes of searching Peeta and I finally collide into one another. The first thing we do is embrace each other tightly, not wanting to let go.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks me, resting his forehead against mine. I try to see his eyes through the darkness but I can't. I need his eyes to reassure me.

"I – Think- My- Ribs- Are properly broke-" I say in between gasps. Peeta lifts me up in his arms and, slowly, walks out of the water. Once properly out of the water, the ice of the weather begins to freeze the dampness on my clothes. I begin shivering violently, burying my face into Peeta's body. I feel how tense Peeta is due to the severe weather drop we are facing.

"It's not normally this cold," Peeta comments through gritted teeth. I don't reply. I'm focussing too hard on trying to prevent my organs from freezing. Peeta places me lightly on the ground before I hear his footprints leaving me.

"Where are you going?" I croak.

"To try find some orange bark," Peeta replies. I allow him to go. Though I don't want him too. I begin shivering violently. My breath becoming more rapid.

As the minutes increase I begin to accept the fate that this weather shall likely kill me. The more I shiver the colder I become. My clothes are turning into ice due to the pure moisture within them. I can feel ice forming in my damp hair too. My fingers slowly become numb; the only sensation I feel is the piercing coldness on my flesh. As I lie on the ground I hear footsteps nearing me once more.

"Did you find the bark?" I ask. Peeta doesn't reply. He must be too cold to reply. He kneels down in front of me, his cold hands grasping my face. I wish I could see his face but the darkness covers us completely. I place my hand over that of Peeta's, rubbing my cheek into it. As I do so, I feel Peeta lift my chin up with a sharp point. I feel it pierce into my skin, a trickle of blood escaping from the small wound.

"Peeta-!"I exclaim, though his hand tightens around my throat.

That's when realisation washes over my body. This isn't Peeta. This must be a Career. I feel the weapon that was on my chin move down to my neck. I feel the iciness of the blade press against my neck. I'm ready for the final slit that shall end my life. I choke slightly.

"PEETA-!" I scream at the top of my lungs. Whoever it is who is holding my neck tightens their grip. I feel my vocal cords tightening. I lose my voice. I feel the blade cut into my throat. The pain seeping through my system. Initiating the natural response of the brain for me to scream out silently in pain.

A cannon is shot.

**A/N- Don't forget to 'follow' this story, favourite it as well if you want too! And please could you leave me a review? I love reading what you have to say! Thanks for reading**


	28. Chapter 28

The pressure on my neck is released suddenly and I gasp for air frantically. I feel like a fish out of water, the lack of oxygen which I am receiving is not substantial for my needs. I hear a body collapse to the floor.

"Katniss?!" I hear Peeta call.

"Peeta?" I croak. It hurts to speak. I can feel blood running down my neck. I feel hands clasp my face once more, though these are gentle. Not rough like the previous. I begin crying, wrapping my arms around Peeta's neck. He kisses my face multiple times. Whispering the word _'sorry' _underneath his breath. I begin hyperventilating. Unable to cope with what has just happened. Am I going to die? Like Gale, is the life slowly fading out my eyes? Who will protect Prim? I begin to cry once more. Peeta tightens his embrace around me before letting go.

"Don't leave me-!" I scream, my voice is broken. My vocal cords feel damaged. I choke on my last word.

"I won't. I won't. I'm right here," Peeta replies soothingly. He finds my hand in the darkness and holds on tightly. I hear his other hand search the ground for something. The rustling of leaves fill the silence between us. The next thing I know Peeta places some bark around me, heat instantly impacting my skin. It brings a sense of relief to my body, though I am still in shock over what has just happened.

How did that tribute know where I was? We're in utter, pitch-black darkness. How would they be able to see where I am? What if we are being watched right now? Peeta and I might not make it to morning.

"You're safe with me," Peeta whispers, kissing me on the forehead.

"I wish I could see you," I reply, resting my head against, what I think is, his chest. Peeta wraps his arms around me, brushing the loose strands of hair that he can feel away from my face. My neck hurts so much, though the cold freeze seems to be soothing it. I don't dare to touch it, afraid of the true damage which has been done. I don't think the blade was pushed in far, though my vocal cords feel damaged. But perhaps that was due to be strangled.

I must have fallen asleep because when I next open my eyes I find Peeta carrying me up the steep bank.

"Peeta?" I croak.

"Don't speak, I don't want you to hurt yourself," Peeta replies. The last time Peeta carried me, I was pushing him off me, screaming that I didn't want him near me. The last time he carried me was the day Gale died. I can feel tears pierce my eyes. The loss of grief which I feel for Gale comes and goes. The pain isn't as bad as time goes on. Perhaps it's because I know that soon I shall be back with him. I can feel Peeta's heart beat as I rest my head against his chest. Rapid. Broken.

"I can carry myself," I whisper, trying to conserve my voice. It still hurts regardless of how loud I speak.

"No," Peeta says whilst trying to catch his breath, "It's fine. We're almost at the top." We're not. I look up and see that we're barely half way up the steep hill. How long has Peeta been carrying me?

"We'll get to the top faster if you just put me down, Peeta" I state.

"What is your problem with me carrying you?" Peeta smiles. I laugh slightly before allowing Peeta to put me on the ground.

The first step I take, a piercing sensation hits my ribs. Of course. I've properly broken them. I wince slightly, though I try to cover the pain. I don't want to give Peeta a valid reason to carry me. It takes us around an hour, but we finally reach the top of the hill. Ironic. It only took us ten seconds to fall down it. When I reach the top of the hill, I lean against a tree instantly. Breathing heavily, clasping onto my ribs. Peeta takes a rest as well, slouching on the ground, resting his head between his knees.

"How much sleep did you get last night?" I ask. Peeta looks up at me,

"None. I wanted to protect you."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know." The only thing I hear for the next few minutes is the heavy breathing which both Peeta and I posses.

I look around, in the section of the arena which we are in, it's not as scary in the light. Last night, walking around in darkness, was terrifying. Not knowing what is around the corner. I suppose it's a lot like the journey of life, we never know what will be around the corner. We simply walk around in the darkness, sometimes seeing a glimmer, a flame, which signals whether our decisions are right or wrong.

I run my hand over my neck gently, feeling the dried blood on my skin. It feels sore, though not as bad as it did last night.

"Thank you for pretty much saving my life last night," I comment quietly. Peeta looks over at me.

"You know I'd always put your life before mine," Peeta replies. I do know that. I've known that from the start. If I was to have died last night I think Peeta would have sacrificed his life, like Jade did for Cloward. I look at Peeta, to find that he is wearing my backpack. He looks at my eyes, noticing before they are focussing.

"I know how that tribute was able to find us in the dark," he states.

"How?"

"With these," Peeta replies, pulling out a pair of weird shaped binoculars. I take them from his hands and put them on. The vibrant trees become a contrast green when I put these binoculars on, hurting my eyes from the sheer brightness. I take them off instantly, feeling a headache coming on.

"What are they?"

"Night vision goggles," Peeta answers, "I wore them last night as you slept. Really effective for seeing in the dark."

"I bet a sponsor paid a good amount to get those sent," I say, handing them back to Peeta.

After a further five minutes, Peeta and I begin walking back to where Prim, Finnick and Johanna should be.

"I think I've broken my ribs," I admit to Peeta after an agonising walk.

"Why didn't you say something?" Peeta exclaims, clasping my face in his hands.

"I didn't want to worry you." His eyes drop from my face to my ribs. There is a tear on my clothing from when the beast attacked me over one of my ribs.

"It does look swollen," Peeta comments. He goes to touch it though resists. It reminds me of when I saw Peeta's wounds on his back. How I wanted to help him, though I felt helpless to do so. Not wanting to hurt him further.

"Katniss!" I hear Prim exclaim the moment Peeta and I reveal ourselves. Prim runs over to me, embracing me the moment our bodies' impact. I let out a small yelp from the pressure put on my ribs. I ignore this pain though, hugging my sister, not wanting to be the first to let go. Prim cries into my chest.

"I thought you had died. I thought that cannon shot was for you!"

"We got lost and it was too dark to find our way back," I reply, tightening my grip around Prim. She cries silently into my chest even more whilst I stroke her hair. Trying to calm her.

"On the plus side, there's only six more careers left," Johanna butts in. Prim releases me, noticing the swelling of my ribs.

"What happened?"

"I think they're broken," I reply.

Prim hurries off, collecting some moss and further plants. She returns two minutes later, forcing me to lie down on the ground. Like my ankle, it's only a temporary fix, though I can't complain. She reduces the swelling with some of the substance from the silver bark before tying moss around my ribs, which have been soaked in some type of flower. I still feel a stingy pain, though nothing to what it was previously. She also applies some of the substance to my neck, which helps sooth the pain in my vocal cords too.

"It's lucky you're still alive, I would have been annoyed if I had to make this bow for nothing," Johanna says to me as Peeta helps me off the ground. She holds out a bow, a lot like the one which my father had made for me. I take it away from Johanna, feeling the bow in my hand. I feel tears in my eyes. It's beautiful. Pure beautiful. Indentmens on the handle, perfect fitting for my fingers. Smooth. No splinters. The smell of the forest covers every inch of it. I say no words. I simply embrace Johanna into a hug. I feel her body tense instantly. She does not return the gesture, she simply pushes me away. I don't care though. This is the greatest thing I have ever received.

"Thank you so much," I say, wiping a tear away from my eye. Johanna simply rolls her eyes, though she seems touched by how much I appreciate the bow.

"Are you going to practice?" Finnick asks, handing me my shaft. I feel each arrow individually, rolling them in between my fingers. I pull out the first arrow, aiming it at the purple tree in front of me. The moment I position my bow a sense of enlightenment over comes me. I release it, watching as it impacts the tree with one quick, swift glide. Purple substance seeps out of the entry point, it's only then I realise how thirsty and hungry I am.

Finnick and Peeta leave to go get some lunch for us whilst I work on my aim. Prim watches in awe.

"Do you want to have ago?" I ask.

"I won't be any good," Prim comments quietly.

"Don't be silly!" I exclaim. I force Prim to have ago, flashbacks of me as a child enter my mind. When father allowed me to use his bow for the first time. How scared I was. Prim holds the bow in her hands, shaking violently. Johanna is watching from the side, under the shade. I align Prim's hands into the correct way to hold the bow before giving her the arrow. With one quick release, the arrow vanishes from our vision into the bushes.

"I'm useless!" Prim cries.

"No you're not! I was no good the first time I shot an arrow." I remember thinking I had missed completely, when by accident I had shot myself a deer.

"KATNISS!" I hear someone shout in anger. I look up away from Prim to see Finnick limping into my vision with an arrow in his leg.

Prim drops the bow instantly. The colour draining from her face. However, Johanna simply bursts into hysterics.

"Well done Prim, you've caught yourself a Finnick Odair."

"Did you do this?" Finnick asks Prim. She nods her head slowly, tears escaping her eyes.

"She didn't mean too, Finnick. It was an accident. It was my fault-"

"-It's fine Katniss," Finnick replies softly. I look at the arrow in his leg. It's not in deep. No real damage. I can't help but feel a smile spread across my face as Johanna bursts into further laughter when she sees the sight of Peeta.

I look up at him to find the red and purple substance running down his face. He looks like a creature from the Capitol.

"Peeta what happened?" I ask.

"Well when the arrow hit Finnick, he threw all the bark in the air and it landed on me," he replies. I burst into laughter. The very thought makes my sides hurt. Even Prim laughs slightly at the thought. However, Finnick simply stands there, arrow poking out of his leg. I know he wants to smile.

"Let's get that arrow out then," Johanna states, grabbing Finnick's arm.

"I don't want you doing it!" Finnick exclaims, pulling his arm from Johanna, "You're not the most gentle."

"We can't be fussy Finnick," Johanna scoffs.

"I'll do it," Prim chips in, "I am a healer."

"Prim is the logical decision, Johanna," Peeta adds.

"Shut it Lover Boy. Can't have any fun in this arena," Johanna moans before walking off.

We lay Finnick on the ground, I feel as if we are about to operate. His screws his face up in pain as Prim touches the arrow slightly.

"It's not in that deep," I comment.

"You try having an arrow poking out your leg!" Finnick winces.

"I'm going to have to pull it out in one go," Prim reassures Finnick. Peeta is crouched down next to Finnick, wiping the sweat from his face with a piece of moss. The scene almost reminds me like the women who would come to my mother when they were giving birth. The only difference that the pregnant woman is Finnick and the baby is an arrow.

"1…2…-"

"Just do it!" Finnick exclaims once more.

"-3!" Prim shouts, pulling the arrow out in one go. Finnick jumps up in pain. Shouting every word under the sun. Prim sits on the ground, arrow in her hand, stunned at Finnick's reaction. She has seen people endure extreme, agonising pain, and they have reacted to treatment better than Finnick is right now.

"Finnick, calm down" I say. Finnick simply hops from one leg to another before grabbing the arrow from Prim. He snaps it over his knee before throwing it to the ground. It's lucky that I have several more arrows remaining in my shaft.

"Have you calmed down now?" Peeta asks after Finnick's face slowly returns to its natural colour.

"I hate arrows," Finnick mutters.

"Really? I could never have guessed," I smile. Finnick looks at me and glares, though his eyes soften.

We hear a rustle come from the trees and I align my bow into position, arrow ready. But what I see shocks me. My legs become weak. I hear Prim scream. A scream of pure pain. I feel the tears release from my eyes. I feel my stomach plummet, emptiness soon follows.

Johanna emerges from the trees, choking up blood. Her face is bloody. A deep wound cut down diagonally across her body. She goes to speak but as she opens her mouth, a puddle of blood escapes her mouth. Johanna collapses to her knees, at the mercy of the Hunger Games. We run over to her. Prim hugs Johanna tightly. Johanna hugs her back. Tears escape Prim's eyes. Johanna doesn't cry. She never cries.

"Make them remember who we are," Johanna says, looking directly at me. I look back at Johanna. Blinking back the tears. I nod my head. I simply nod my head. I can't find any words. What can I say? Johanna looks up at Finnick, a smile spreading across her face.

"Thanks for looking after me all these years," she says. Her voice holds the tone of vulnerability. Johanna coughs once more, more blood escaping her mouth. She begins to choke. I cover Prim's eyes. Johanna's lungs much be corrupted with blood. With one final cough, Johanna collapses completely to the ground. The traditional cannon is shot.

Johanna Mason. District 7. The bravest person who I have ever met. A woman who had no one yet would still sacrifice her life for a child. An inspiration. A hero. A friend.

**A/N- Don't forget to 'follow' the story if you haven't already. Also, could you please leave me a review? :) I love reading what you guys have to say. I've also made myself a Tumblr, so if anyone on here has it here's my blog:**

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	29. Chapter 29

Speechless. That's all I am. Utterly speechless. No one says a word. Prim cries silently. But apart from that, there is no sound. Johanna's body remains on the ground. Lifeless. Only minutes before she was laughing at Finnick being shot with an arrow. You never know what is going to happen in this arena.

"So there's ten tributes left," Finnick says, breaking the silence. I look at him in confusion. How is he able to be so strong? I thought he'd be the one to struggle most with this. Perhaps it's because he knows that the end is near for him. For all of us. All except Prim.

"Only nine more to go," Peeta adds. The short statement makes me feel sick. Only nine more people need to die. I being one of these digits. I've barely lived a life to miss it. Though the genuine concept of death terrifies me. What waits for you after you take that final breath? We leave the area; the sight of Johanna is too distressing.

As we walk I feel my stomach rumble. We still haven't eaten. I feel disgusted in myself to think of food when Johanna has just died. Though it is just a natural response. My stomach rumbles for a second time and Peeta hears.

"Do you want me to get you something to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry," I reply. My stomach objects by releasing an aggressive roar.

"It's not smart to walk on an empty stomach," Finnick adds before pulling a knife out. He begins carving a red tree, collecting bark for each of us. Peeta helps, knowing how much strength is needed to pull the bark from the tree. I look at Prim who hasn't spoken a word since Johanna died. I look at her face. It's more pale than normal. No colour within it.

"Are you okay?" I whisper, kneeling down to Prim's height. She simply nods her head. My eyes trace down to her hands which are grasping something tightly. Not just something. The wooden carving which Johanna had given her.

"She really captured Buttercup's beauty," I comment. Prim looks up at me, a small smile spreading across her face.

"Johanna said she always wanted a cat."

I don't know what to reply. I know that Johanna felt a bond with Prim, due to what happened to her sister. But I wouldn't have expected for Johanna to say such things to my sister, to discuss a life that she wished she could have had. Yes it's a trivial thing, as in stating she wanted a cat. But Johanna was a very self-enclosed individual. Prim had managed to breakdown the wall that Johanna had built around herself.

Before I can reply, Finnick hands Prim and I a piece of red bark each.

"Look Prim, strawberry!" I exclaim in an overly false tone. I remind myself of the times when Gale and I would mimic Effie's Capitol accent in the woods. Prim simply gives a halfhearted smile before eating the food slowly. I feel sick watching my sister. I think the death of Johanna has damaged her beyond repair.

That night we sleep within the trees. We don't feel that there is any need for someone to keep guard. It's unlikely for any of us to get a full eight hours sleep tonight. There will always be at least one of us awake throughout the night. As I secure myself to the branch, I stare up at the sky, counting every star which I can see. I am unsure whether these stars are real or not. Probably not. Though still I count them. There's 38 stars all together. Coincidence that there are 38 tributes dead? Probably not. This thought, however, brings a form of comfort to my mind. Last year, the Games Makers turned the tributes into those mutts which attacked Peeta and I, along with killing Cato. It's a much more reassuring thought that this year, the tributes have simply become stars. Fallen stars, the majority of them. For half of the tributes are previous Hunger Games victors. Stars, heroes of their districts. They shall be forever mourned. Some victors have even had holidays passed in their name. I know that in District 4, the day which Finnick won the Hunger Games has become a national holiday.

I stare back up at the sky, watching the stars sparkle in the night sky. One star sparkles in a peculiar way to all others, almost in an aggressive manner. I feel a small smile spread across my face. That must be Johanna's star. I look at the other stars, each having their own traits, one could say, similar to that of their owner. One star which catches my eye is that positioned in the very centre of the night sky. Its brightness is such an intense frequency that if you look too long, you have to shut your eyes. However, I can't seem to pull my eyes away from this star. It draws my attention. Captures my thoughts. The longer I stare, the more the rest of the world seems to disappear.

_"I love you Catnip. So, so much."_

My body freezes. I hear his voice. I begin to shake violently.

"G-Gale?" I whisper. Suddenly I hear my voice echoing around the arena.

_"You're crazy."_

_"Only for you."_

"Gale?!" I repeat, my voice becoming hysterical. I start to shake. Trying to release myself from the branch. Wanting to find the source of Gale's voice.

"Catnip-"

"-Stop!-"

"-I love you-"

"-Please-" I'm crying hysterically.

"So, so much."

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I scream. I feel myself fall from the branch which I am on. Hitting the ground at vast impact. I still hear Gale's voice. Though I can't see his face. I stare up at the night sky. The star is even brighter now. I shut my eyes and begin hitting my head with my hands, hoping to deafen his voice.

"Katniss-"

"You're not alive. You're dead. _You're dead!_-" I scream.

"It's Peeta."

I open my eyes to find those of Peeta. He's crouched down on the ground next to me, concern scrawled across his face. I launch into a hug, burying my face into Peeta's chest. His voice has stopped. All I can hear is Peeta's heart beating against his chest rapidly.

"I heard him. He was speaking to me," I cry. My voice is shaky.

"No you didn't. They just need entertainment and are trying to break you," Peeta whispers softly. He strokes my hair, holding me closely to his heart. I glance up at him to see strain on his face. Pain.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

We remain in silence for a further few minutes. I glance up at the trees. Finnick and Prim are still sound asleep.

"How come they haven't woken up from my screaming?"

"You weren't really screaming. You might have been in your head but in reality you were just thrashing about."

"Then how come I was able to wake you up?"

"I hardly ever sleep. I was keeping watch over you," Peeta answers.

"Thank you," I reply. I lean up and give Peeta a small kiss on the cheek. He wraps his arms around me.

We simply sit there. Embracing one another's company. Peeta tightens his arms around my waist, placing his hands gently on my torso. I place my hands over them, afraid to let go. Afraid for Peeta to let go. Afraid that Gale's voice shall return if Peeta was to leave. I feel a tear fall down my face. I try to blink it away but it's too late. It's escaped. Falling onto Peeta's exposed hand. Yet he doesn't react. He allows my tears to fall. To allow me to be vulnerable. To protect me from the night.

I cry silently. Releasing the grief I have been bottling in for too long. I'm so worn from this arena. The loss of Gale has broken my heart but the loss of Mag's and Johanna has broken my soul. My spirit. I need to go on for Prim. I have too.

"Who do you think will be next?" I ask Peeta.

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it," Peeta replies, focussing his attention on the ground. I look at the ground as well, to see his vision transfixed on that of a glowing insect. "Hopefully a career," he adds. Another glowing insect appears.

"I don't know what I'll do if I lose you first," I say. Peeta's eyes pull away from the insects completely.

"What?"

"I don't know what I'd do," I repeat. I feel slightly uncomfortable with this pure sense of vulnerability. I suppose me and Johanna weren't that different, perhaps that's why we couldn't see eye to eye.

"You'll be fine, you always are."

"Because I have you to pick me up."

"That's not true. You survived after your father."

"Barely Peeta. Think about it, you saved me. It was you. It's always been you. That gift of kindness, which you gave me, provided more than food for my family. It rekindled my spirit. Made me stronger."

"I love you Katniss," Peeta replies.

"I love you too."

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

Peeta leans in and kisses me, wiping my mind free from all negative thoughts. The simple embrace of his lips on mine makes me smile. Actually smile. A sense of relief, happiness overcomes my body. It's moments like these that we live for in life. The reality, everyone will die, my death shall be sooner than expected. But I've experienced the love of my life sooner than expected as well. To be only 17 and to have found an individual where complete vulnerability may be accompanied with. That's unknown, especially in District 12. I don't believe in the ideology of soul mates, because Peeta and I aren't that. We don't have much in common. We don't share common interests, tastes in food or enjoyment in music. However, there is one thing that we do both share, and that is an undying love for one another. Perhaps Peeta loves me more, that is a statement I wouldn't argue against. But there is the fact that I love Peeta, and although it may not be as intense as his love is for me, it is still a strength of emotion that I have never felt for someone who wasn't part of my immediate family before.

Our fingers intertwine and as I stare at Peeta, in the background I can see Gale's star shining with its bright intensity. Though the longer I stare into Peeta's eyes, the weaker the brightness becomes. Peeta is my strength. Without him where would I be? I would be dead. The Careers would have killed me in the arena last year straight away if it wasn't for Peeta. I owe my life to him unconditionally, yet here he is willing to give his life up for my sister. I will never be able to pay him back.

I look at the ground to find Peeta and I surrounded my the glowing insects. Multiple colours they are. Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Somewhat like the trees.

"Do you think they're poisonous?" Peeta whispers. I pick one up delicately off the ground, in between my finger and thumb. I recognise these insects. Genetically altered by the Capitol._ Glowers._ Not a clever name, I agree, but the people who created them weren't very clever themselves.

"Only the red ones," I reply, placing the insect back on the ground, "They only attack if you attack first. Such as by treading on one accidentally or something."

"Well looks like we're stuck down here for the night," Peeta comments. I laugh, looking at the flickering bugs that seem to have circled us. In the darkness they look almost romantic. Probably a technique of the Games Makers to try 'set the mood' for Peeta and I. I know how much the Capitol adores our relationship.

Truth is I don't really want to fall asleep. Not on my own accords that is. I'd rather just lie in Peeta's arms, even if it's in silence, and allow sleep to take over my body. I'm afraid of what torments may overcome my body if I force myself to fall asleep. Whose faces shall I see, voices shall I hear, deaths shall I witness? I can't bare that pain. So Peeta and I remain on the ground. Not making a noise. The bugs are somewhat a form of comfort to us. Provide a style night-light, allowing us to see what terrors are lurking in the darkness. The temperature isn't as cold as other nights. Perhaps my body is becoming accustomed to the temperature? Unlikely reason. The Games Makers probably don't want us to freeze to death, not so close to the end. They need us for the grand finale.

When I next open my eyes, it is to the glistening sun reaching me through the branches of the trees. I look to find that the insects are no longer surroundings us. In fact there is no trace at all to suggest that such thing existed. I look up to find Peeta fast asleep. I pull myself slowly away from his grasps, not wanting him to wake. He needs his energy. I look up to find Prim still fast asleep in the tree yet Finnick is missing. I circle the tree, looking up, to see if Finnick has switched branches in the night. He hasn't. His trident is placed carefully against the tree. Where is he? I begin to become worried. Worried that he has done something stupid. Sacrificed his life like Jade did for Cloward. I look at the ground. Hoping to see any signs of Finnick. I see nothing. He can't have gone far. He wouldn't have. He wouldn't have just left us. Would he? Would Finnick do that? Of course he wouldn't. I rest my head against the tree, trying to sort the thoughts within my mind. Trying to calm myself down. I take a deep breath. Look back to the ground. And that's when I see it. Pieces of wood chippings. I pick up one of the delicate flakes off the ground. Smooth. Glided swiftly off a tree bark. I stare at the ground, noticing that the pieces of wood chippings seem to be leading a path. Barely visible to the naked eye.

I follow the path, going deeper and deeper into the forests. I don't know how long I've walked for. Probably only ten minutes, though the isolation which impacts me seems to make the time duration even longer. However, as I am ready to return back to Prim and Peeta I hear him. Finnick. Crying. I walk carefully towards the sound to found Finnick hunched over a small stream which he has found.

"F-Finnick?" I stutter. Finnick glances up quickly at me. Embarrassed that I have found him in such a state. He turns his face from me.

"What are you doing here?" Finnick asks with his back to me.

"I was wondering where you had got too. I got worried. I'm sorry, I can go back-"

"Do you love him?"

"What?" I say in confusion. Finnick turns to me, his eyes bloodshot, he walks over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Peeta. Do you love him?"

"Yeah, I do," I reply cautiously. I'm confused. Why is Finnick crying?

"I woke up this morning and found you two asleep on the ground," Finnick says, turning away from me once more. I hear his voice choke as he speaks, "It reminded me so much of how Annie and I used to sleep." Of course. Annie.

"I just had a rough night last night," I say.

"You don't need to explain yourself, Katniss. Annie would always get nightmares, she'd only feel safe when I was around. I'm afraid how she will cope when I'm not there. I don't know if she will."

I stare at Finnick's back, I can sense he feels embarrassed, though I don't know why. It breaks my heart to witness how choked his voice is. Barely able to keep his composer.

"She'll be okay. Prim will look after her. And Haymitch."

"Will they? For certain?" Finnick asks, he turns to me, his eyes like that of an animal. He looks at me with pure desperation.

"Yes." I don't know if they will.

"Promise me."

"I promise." I'm lying. I can't promise what circumstances will occur once I am dead. I can simply give my word, in hope it will provide a form of support and strength to Finnick. Keep him steady long enough until he can finally be at peace. Perhaps it is better than Haymitch and Prim do not look after Annie. It's a cruel thought, but if Annie was to take her own life, she would be with Finnick sooner in the after life. She would not have to live in an empty world, where everywhere she looks she shall be reminded of her lost love. I feel pain for Annie, remorse. If I had never had done that trick with the berries last year, Finnick wouldn't be in this arena. None of these victors would be. They'd be at home. With their loved ones. Not dying because of me.

Finnick wipes his eyes and drops a piece of wood to the ground before walking over to me.

"Let's go then," Finnick says before walking back to Prim and Peeta. I go to follow, though I look back at the wood which Finnick has dropped. It holds none of the detail which Johanna was able to capture, though I am still able to recognise the features of a woman smiling. Perhaps he was carving Annie? I pick up the piece of wood and place it in the stream, allowing it to float away with the current. Not allowing anyone else to find this evidence of Finnick's weakness.

**A/N- I'm so sorry for how long it's took to update the story. I've been busy and went aboard etc so havent been able too. So sorry. I'm also sorry if you have found this chapter boring, I promise lots more will happen in the next chapter. Will be much more exciting. And it will be published sooner! Please leave me a review and thanks for reading**


	30. Chapter 30

When we return back to Prim and Peeta, Peeta still remains fast asleep on the ground.

"Should we wake him?" Finnick asks me. I shake my head. I know how tired Peeta is. I look up to see that Prim is still fast asleep on her branch as well. I rest my back against the tree before slumping down to the ground. Resting my head against my hunched knees. The sunrays, once again, impact onto my skin through the leaves, leading to my body temperature rising.

"What time do you think it is?" I ask as I try to cool myself down. It's a failed attempt. All I am doing is waving my hand in the air like a floundering fish.

"I'm not sure, noon maybe?"

"I just want this to be over already," I sigh. I run my fingers through my tangled hair. I glance up to see Finnick looking at me slightly surprised. "What?"

"I think I'm finally seeing weakness," Finnick comments, slumping down next to me.

"What do you mean?"

"This. Everything. It's finally wearing you down. Both emotionally and physically. You're the strongest in the arena, let alone group, if you're feeling like this then the Careers must be too." I feel slightly took back by Finnick's comment. Is he actually suggesting that I have the same morality as the Careers? That I have the same mental capacity as a group of people who have been trained to murder children from the minute they could stand? Probably not. I'm probably being irrational. The heat is probably getting too me and I'm tired…but what if it's not that… what if Finnick did imply that I am no better than a Career?

My thoughts are pulled away from this as I see Peeta begins to stir within his sleep. His arm reaches out, perhaps trying to grab me, but when his hand clasps on nothing his eyes shoot open.

"Katniss-" Peeta exclaims in a short, sharp breath.

"I'm here Peeta," I comment. Peeta's eyes fall to me and suddenly relax. He catches his breath before lying back down on the ground.

"You scared me. I didn't know where you had gone."

"Sorry about that," I reply, smiling slightly.

As I sit by the tree I practice using the bow that Johanna had crafted for me. I run the bow in between my fingers, feeling the individual ridges.

"Are you going to actually use it or just admire it?" Finnick asks me.

"Don't you remember what happened last time when I used it?" I ask, indicating to Finnick's leg. He flinches slightly, physically wincing at the thought.

"Well that was Prim, I think it's okay if you use it."

I laugh at his comment before standing up off the ground. I position the bow and arrow in my hand, aiming it towards the trees. Who knows, maybe I could catch us some actual meat to eat. I'm getting sick off that tree substance stuff. Positioning the bow feels so natural, I inline the arrow, creating the perfect angle. And then I release it. I watch the arrow glide through the air, majestic in a way like a bird. Submerging itself with the leaves within the trees. Not to be seen again. Finnick gives me a small applause; I take a small bow, "Thank you, for your consideration." The moment I say the words, the memories of last year come hurdling through my mind. Training. Having to perform to those of the Capitol. The purse ignorance they showed me. The bitterness, anger that I felt.

I look back towards the trees to see that the leaves are still moving from where my arrow impacted it. There isn't any breeze so it can't be the wind. Finnick's eyes trail mine, he too notices the movement of the leaves.

"Maybe you hit a bird?"

"Must be a pretty big bird," I reply. I pull an arrow from my shaft and begin walking towards the tree. Finnick follows behind with his trident.

"Katniss, leave it," Peeta calls. I ignore him. He stays place though, we can't leave Prim by herself.

As we begin to near the tree I can hear a faint moan. I turn to Finnick, raising a finger to my lips, indicating that we must be quiet. Finnick nods his head and begins to tread lightly. Lucky Peeta isn't with us; he never was the quietest of people. On the ground there are a few specs of blood. Fresh blood. Perhaps it is a wounded animal. I look up into the tree, unable to see anything but leaves. I want to call out but I know that is a stupid idea. The Hunger Games isn't the place to draw attention to yourself. Instead, I release another arrow into the tree where the moaning and rustling comes from. The moment that the arrow vanishes the moaning stops. The rustling stops. Silence occurs. I go to turn away, thinking that I had killed whatever creature was in the tree. But as I turn, a knife comes flying down, catching me off guard, hitting me in the back. It impacts with my skin; I feel it go into my flesh. I fall to the ground, onto my stomach, gasping for air, my heart rate increases rapidly. I am unable to think straight. All I think about is the searing pain that has been created within my back. I go to stand up, but I cant, the pain is too much. I reach my hand over my back, feeling the leather handle of the weapon near the right side of my shoulder, just slightly lower. I go to pull it out in one quick movement but I haven't the strength. I bite into my arm, crying.

"Katniss_, run_!" I hear Finnick shout. I can't see him. I can't get up off the ground. All I can see is dirt. I have to do it. I have to remove the blade now or else I'll be dead. I tighten my hand around the handle once again; the pressure makes me cry out. I take a deep breath though, trying to build up a temporary form of confidence.

_'1…2…3'_ I pull the blade out, ripping some of my skin in the process. The pain erupts even further and I begin to scream. I think I've damaged a nerve.

I push myself off the ground, my body numb, my eyes filled with tears. I can barely see. I can barely think straight. I can feel the blood running down my back. The knife still in my hand. I turn around to see Finnick fighting off the two females from District 2, Enobaria and Diamond. I think my arrow must have hit Enobaria because I notice that she seems to be winded on the one side. Finnick is trying his hardest to fight the two off, but he is struggling. He's also bleeding heavily. I notice a club which Enobaria is holding in her hand, she raises it up in the air, reading to strike Finnick across the face with it. I throw the knife away from me and shakily pull an arrow from my shaft, it hurts to move my arms, and position my arrow. I don't have time to make the angle perfect, to make it a perfect shot, I react by instinct and release the arrow. Hitting Enobaria through the back. The club falls to the ground; Enobaria is the next to the fall. A cannon is shot.

Diamond twists her head; looking at me in a savage way, before a sinister smile spreads across her face. I remember Diamond, she tried to attack Finnick and I at the very start of these Games.

"See your arms healed," I call out, referring to when I had shot her with an arrow when we were at the Cornucopia. Diamond's smile falls from her face.

"I see that your little lover boy has died," Diamond sneers, "Shame. I was hoping to be the one to kill him. What was his name again? _Hail_?" I feel my hands tighten around my bow. The smile returns back on Diamond's face. Some Careers I feel a sense of pity for them, like Cato last year, he was socialised into believing that the Hunger Games was the only way which he could make his District proud. The reality was he knew what he was doing was wrong. But Diamond? No. She is pure evil. The smiles which she gives. The looks. The enjoyments which she gains from killing innocent people. It makes me physically sick.

Finnick raises his trident in the air, going to hit Diamond in the back of the head with it, however Diamond twists quickly, grabbing onto the end of the trident. Finnick doesn't expect it and Diamond pushes him to the ground. She pulls the trident free from his grasp, a high pitch laugh escaping her lips. This can't end well. The last time Finnick had his trident taken from him Sam, Apple and Gale died. I feel helpless because I already know what is going to happen. I think Finnick knows too as he looks away from Diamond to me.

_"Keep Prim alive,"_ he mouths. Tears fill my eyes. I hear Diamond's sinister laugh. I turn away, not wanting to witness Finnick's final moments.

I hear a cannon shot and a body collapse to the floor. My mouth goes dry. My throat closes it on itself. I feel as if I am suffocating. I turn back around; ready to brace myself with the dead body of Finnick Odair.

As I turn around though I am met by the eyes of Finnick, pulling his trident free from the clasp of Diamond's stiff hands. He looks at me, smiling.

"Maybe I was a bit harsh about Prim's aim," Finnick says. I look down at Diamond, seeing a knife lodged in her head. The same knife that impacted my back. I'm confused. I don't understand what is going on. I braced myself for the worst possible outcome but this is the best. Diamond is dead.

"Katniss," I hear a familiar voice squeak. I turn around to see Prim standing behind me, tears magnifying her blue eyes. Shaking.

"Prim!" I exclaim, pulling my sister into a suffocating hug. I can hear her trying to speak though my body muffles her words. She's trying to push away from my body but I won't let her go. I was supposed to protect my sister, yet I've let her down. She was the one who had to save me. To save Finnick. At the same time she has also had to take someone's life. To Finnick, Peeta and I that would not have been a problem, for we are victors of the Hunger Games. We are use to death. But Prim. Prim is a child. She is innocent. She is too young to even witness a death let alone cause one.

Still Prim pushes against my body, her movements become more restless. I finally release my sister and she begins crying hysterically.

"Katniss-"

"-Prim you don't need to be sad. She was going to kill me," Finnick adds, wrapping an arm around Prim. Prim shakes her head, more tears flowing from her eyes.

"Prim, what's wrong?" I ask.

"-Peeta-" Prim chokes through her tears.

I begin running. I don't give Prim time to explain what she means. I just run back to the tree where I left Peeta. All possible outcomes are forming in my head of what may greet me on my arrival. Though I don't think of the worst possible outcome. I can't. I hear Finnick running behind me.

I push through the leaves and am finally greeted to a sight that makes my body scream out in physical pain.

"Katniss-" Peeta chokes through split lips. Blood running down his pale face. I throw my arrow to the ground and kneel next to Peeta. He's slumped down next to the tree where I was resting earlier. I grab his right hand, holding it tightly in both of mine. Peeta coughs slightly, spluttering a bit of blood. I wipe some of the blood from his chin. It's a futile attempt. His face is completely smeared in it. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm sorry. This is my fault. I shouldn't have left you. I should have stayed with you," I reply. Peeta must be in agonising pain yet he's still putting my feelings first. I can't stand this. _I can't._ I can't lose the only thing that is giving me the strength to go on. I begin crying, trying to hide my tears.

"Katniss, don't cry-"

"I'm not crying," I lie. I'm such a bad liar. I look into Peeta's eyes. His beautiful eyes. They're in so much pain, yet Peeta hasn't even released a single tear. Prim comes and kneels down next to me and begins to cry.

"I'm so sorry Peeta." Peeta raises his left hand, wiping a tear from Prim's face,

"Why are you crying?" he lifts himself up slightly, straining himself in the process, "My main priority is to protect you Prim. I'm sorry that you were put in those circumstances."

I feel a lump form in my throat. I try not to cry. If Peeta isn't crying I shall not cry. I stare at him as he speaks to Prim. Trying to comfort her. What happened? Why is he so badly injured? But now isn't the time to ask. Later. When this is all over. That's when I shall find out. Finnick takes Prim away, allowing Peeta and I to have 'private' time. It's not really private, it's being broadcasted right now to the millions of people within Panem.

"Maybe we could get some medicine," I say optimistically, "Where about you is injured."

"I don't think medicine-"

"Where are you injured?" I repeat. Peeta stares into my eyes for a few seconds before diverting his eyes to his torso. I peel the thin clothing away from Peeta delicately. As I do I see the exposure of pure raw skin. I heave at the sight of the deep wound that has removed his belly button.

"It was Othello, the male from District 2," Peeta groans as I pull away the last remaining piece of clothing, "He tried to attack Prim when you and Finnick had left so I tackled him to the ground, allowing Prim a chance to escape to you."

"This is all my fault," I whisper under my breath.

"It's not," Peeta replies, whispering too. He pushes a strand of hair out of my face, leaving his hand to rest gently on my cheek. My hand still holds tightly onto his right one, though I can feel his grip loosening.

"I'll see you soon," Peeta reassures me. I blink back to the tears, not saying anything. I physically can't because I know that if I speak all that will come out is a scream. Denial. Refusal to allow Peeta to leave this world. "Remember when we were on the rooftops that day in the Capitol?" I think back to the memory, the only day where Peeta and I truly relaxed. I nod my head. "That's where I'm going. To the meadows to lie in the sun. I'll wait for you."

"Peeta-" I begin to cry. I can't hold back to the tears, "I won't be able to live without you."

"I'm not expecting you to live, Katniss. I'm expecting you to survive," Peeta replies. His grip on my hand loosens once more. "There's only four Careers left, Othello is badly wounded. You can do this."

"Not without you," I state.

"You can."

I notice Peeta's eyes trail from my face to that of the sky. I look up to see the sun setting behind me. Sun set orange. His favourite colour. A small smile spreads across Peeta's delicate, wounded face. His eyes turn back to me.

"Thank you," he whispers. Barely any strength in his words.

"For what?" I ask. It's my fault he's in the Hunger Games. My fault he's this badly wounded. My fault that he's about to…

"For giving my life a purpose." I stare into Peeta's eyes. The sparkle slowly fading. I take a deep breath. I lean in and kiss Peeta gently on his lips, the taste and smell of blood invaliding my body. I pull away and rest my head against Peeta's forehead. His eyes never lose contact with mine.

"I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too," Peeta whispers, a smile spreading across his face. Finally he allows a tear to escape his eyes before closing them forever. He releases the grip on my hand entirely. A cannon is shot.

I do not move. I simply close my eyes too and fall asleep. Resting my head against Peeta's chest. Hoping to hear the beat of his heart that forever provides me with the comfort that everything is going to be okay. But I do not hear his heartbeat. I do not receive that comfort. I simply lay there. Emotionless. For I have just lost the one thing in this world that was providing me with strength, other that Prim. I have just lost my world. I'm alone. All alone. Just waiting for the cannon shot that will end my life.

**A/N- So sorry about the delays. Been really busy one again! Please leave me a review and don't forget to 'follow' x**


	31. Chapter 31

"We have to leave," Finnick repeats to me for the tenth time. Though his words are simply noise to me. I look at where Peeta lies, waiting for him to wake up.

"We can't leave Peeta behind."

"We can't bring him with us," Finnick states.

"Then we're not leaving," I reply. I've washed some of the blood away from Peeta's face, making him look more like his old self. His body has turned cold but that's understandable. The temperature within the arena always drops in the nighttime. I feel Finnick's arm hook around my waist, lifting me into the air. My legs and arms begin kicking out. I begin to scream before Finnick covers my mouth with his hand. I scream hysterically into his hand, though the noise is muffled. I feel like a savage animal, I do not feel human. All sense of emotion that was keeping me sane has left. I am truly broken.

Finnick drags me away from Peeta and I can feel the tears running down my eyes once more. Prim is walking next to us, carrying my bow. She looks at the ground but she never looks at me. Not once. I begin clawing at Finnick's arms, hoping that he will release me onto the ground so I am able to run back to Peeta.

'PUT ME DOWN' I scream into Finnick's hand, though I am not sure if he was able to make out what I said.

After half an hour, Finnick finally removes his hand from my mouth and I begin to cry hysterically.

'We have to go back, Finnick.'

'We can't go back.'

'You'd go back if it was Annie.' Finnick drops me onto the floor and runs a hand through his tangled hair. He turns to look at me, grief written over his face.

'Peeta's dead Katniss. We have to accept this as fact. What will you achieve if you go back there?'

'I can't leave him alone.'

'He's not alone. He'll be with Johanna, Mags, Gale, Sam, Apple.' I begin shaking on the ground, perhaps from lack of heat or just pure mental instability. I dig my nails into the dry ground, hoping to find some sense of reality to grip onto. But I am unable too. I cannot cope. I cannot live. I begin crying hysterically once more, my tears forming a small puddle on the ground.

'Katniss, please don't cry,' Prim squeaks, pushing some hair out of my face, we don't make eye contact. I know that I need to be strong for my sister. My baby sister. But I am physically unable too. I have no strength at all. My body feels numb; the only feeling that I can recognise is pain. My heart rate is rapid, my breath is short. I just want to die already. I want this to be over. I cannot endure this pain any longer. It's not even physical pain anymore but pure psychological. And a psychological wound is one that can never be repaired. As I try to compose myself I hear a cannon shot and I begin shaking violently once again.

'Katniss it's okay. It's okay. We're all okay,' Finnick whispers, kneeling down in front of me. He places his hands on my shoulders and pulls me into a hug. I burry my face into Finnick's chest, hiding my face from Prim. I'm so ashamed of myself but I can't control my emotions.

'We may as well make camp here, Katniss needs her rest,' Finnick says to Prim quietly whilst he strokes my head. I wish that I could just disappear from the earth. That I could find some place, some area where I would be totally alone. Somewhere where I held no responsibility for anyone, not even myself. Somewhere where I could cry for hours on end and no one would stop or judge me. But I can't. I know that right now the cameras are all focused on me, on this moment of vulnerability. The Capitol must be in grieving over their beloved Peeta and obviously need to know how the other half is doing.

I start crying hysterically at the thought. That I, Katniss Everdeen, will be known as Peeta's other half. And that's exactly what I am, half of the person I used too be. Broken. I don't want to live anymore.

I bury my head even further into Finnick's chest, drowning my tears, my silent screams, into his body. The more I press my face into his body, the more hidden I feel from Prim. The less shame I feel for my weakness. I close my eyes briefly, in hope of stopping the tears, but instead I fall asleep.

'_Katniss,' Peeta whispers to me lightly, brushing his thumb across my cheek. I open my eyes to find myself looking into his beautiful eyes, 'Don't give up.'_

'_What are you talking about?' I ask, half dazed, half asleep._

'_There's only three Careers left. Katniss, there's only three left then Prim has won.' I pull myself up from the ground and find myself sitting in a meadow. Not just any meadow, those of District 12. I can hear laughter, actual laughter, coming from the trees. The flowers are in bloom. I'm surrounded by daffodils._

'_I'm just so tired,' I reply._

'_I know but there's not long left now. You can do it, I know you can.'_

'_Why did you have to leave me?'_

'_We all know that you're the survivor Katniss, not me.'_

_I can see shadows emerging from the trees. I squint my eyes trying to see who they are._

'_You have to go,' Peeta comments, resting his head against my forehead._

'_I don't want too.'_

'_You have too.' I take a deep breath, staring into Peeta's eyes one final time. 'I'll wait for you,' he smiles. I shut my eyes tightly._

'Thank God, I thought we had lost you for a minute!' Finnick exclaims when I next open my eyes.

'…What?' I reply, my mind foggy.

'You fell asleep but weren't responding to anything. Prim, she's awake!'

Next thing I know I am submerged within a hug with my baby sister, crying hysterically into my shoulder.

'I- Thought- You- Were- Gone,' Prim cries. I stroke my sister's hair; it's my time to comfort her.

'I'm fine little duck, just tired.' Prim pulls her face from my shoulder and it is the first time our eyes connect since Peeta's death. And that's when I realise that I must go on. For sitting in front of me is my sister, Primrose Everdeen. A girl who was forced into this arena, not put in by choice. A girl who is simply a piece in the game that Snow is using to make my life hell. A girl who doesn't deserve to die.

Sometimes you need a kick to remind yourself what you are fighting for. I'm not in this arena to keep Gale alive or Peeta alive. It's to keep Prim alive. People have to die. Regardless of how much pain you feel during the process, it has to happen. It cannot be prevented. In life we will always be faced with obstacles that will knock us down but we have to stand up. We have to stand up and go on, not just for ourselves, but for everyone around us. My name is Katniss Everdeen, District 12, and I shall not go down without a fight.

I stand up off the ground and my legs are a little shaky, but I ignore it. I collect my bow from the ground, pulling the shaft over my shoulder. I look up at the sky to see the glorious moment of the sun rising.

'Today is a new day,' I declare. Not just to Finnick and Prim but to all of Panem who are watching. I am declaring it to myself.

'Where are we going to go?' Prim asks me.

'Back to where it all started,' I answer. Prim looks at me in confusion.

'The Cornucopia,' Finnick adds, standing next to me, 'That's where the Careers will be. Of course they will be.'

'It's time to bring these games to an end. Prim, listen to me, when I tell you to run you run. When I tell you to jump you jump. Do not question a single instruction that Finnick and I give you, okay?' I kneel down to Prim's height so I am able to make direct eye contact with her. We look at each other which such intensity; I need Prim to know that I will not let her down. That I will not break down mid process. That I am here. That I am actually, mentally, here and I am ready to fight. Prim nods her head, fear written on her face. I kiss my little duck on the forehead before standing up again.

We have food before leaving, to try restoring our energy. I feel like I am a new person; that I am not the Katniss Everdeen that so many know. I look around though and the people I look at are not the same either. Finnick is more tired; I can see the strain written on his face. Though he is trying to hide it. Not just from Prim and I but from himself. Prim no longer looks like the little sister that I know either. She looks so much more mature, perhaps because she has witnessed things that no child should have too. I wish I could tell my sister that she is going to be okay, that she will be fine. But I cannot promise that. I cannot look into the future and guide my sister's actions; I am not going to be the person who shall give her false belief. I wish I could. But I can't. I cannot betray my sister's trust.

We eat in silence, taking in, perhaps, the last food that we shall ever have. I try to savour every bite, the flavours that run on my tongue. You appreciate the beauty of life a lot more when you are aware that this could be your final hours. Even the arena I see in a new light, although it is my imprisonment. The trees flash vibrant colours, but my eyes keep being drawn to the orange. The sunset orange. Peeta's favourite colour. I blink back the tears; I can't afford to think of him. Not now. Not when I am so close to the finish line. I cannot break down.

I throw my bow over my shoulder alongside my shaft.

'Have you got a knife?' I ask Prim.

'No,' she squeaks.

'Here,' I say handing Prim one from the backpack, 'only use this if you _need_ too. Keep it hidden. Just like yourself.' Prim sheepishly takes the blade from my hand; she almost looks scared of the weapon. Perhaps she is scared. Not of the weapon but of the future. Of what shall happen within the next few hours.

'What direction is the Cornucopia?' Finnick asks whilst examining his trident. I look around me, hoping to see some indication of where to go, but I do not. All I see is the vibrant colours of the trees. It's like being lost in a jungle… but then I remember. I remember what I did when I tried to find where Prim was when the Games had just begun. I take the final knife out of the bag and look for the tallest tree. As I glance up though all I can see is leaves, with glimpses of sunlight.

I decide to choose the tree that is closest to me as it allows me to conserve some energy. I stroke the bark of the orange tree gently before pressing the blade into it. I mustn't have noticed last time, but as soon as the blade emerges within the bark a weird substance oozes out of the slit, running over my hand lightly. I can feel the heat escaping from the slit.

It takes me ten minutes before I finally reach the top of the tree. I pull my body up to the highest branch and use the knife to cut away some of the leaves that are blocking my view. The air seems thinner so I must be quite high. As I look out the view is almost breath taking, but perhaps I am actually out of breath. I scan around the arena, my eyes fixing on the places where I have previously been. It is almost like we have travelled the full radius of this arena. I can see the waterfall where we lost Mags. I can partially see the cave where we almost lost me. And I can see the lake where we lost Gale, Apple and Sam. My eyes remain upon the lake for a minute as the memories flash through my mind. I blink back the tears before pulling my attention back to where the Cornucopia is.

It doesn't take long for me to find it. The sunlight bounces off the metal panels, making the Cornucopia shine from a mile away. The good news is that we are not far away so that means it won't take long to travel. The bad news is that the Careers are prepared. It's like last year; they have all the weapons that the Cornucopia offers. I wonder if they are waiting for us.

'So what direction?' Finnick calls as I lower myself down from the tree.

'That way,' I say, pointing North West. I go to pull the knife out the tree but the blade breaks in the bark. Our last knife. Great.

'You can have my knife, Katniss,' Prim offers.

'It's fine Prim, I have a bow and arrow,' I smile, kissing her gently on top of the head. I look to Finnick who looks more alert than he has for the past couple of days.

'Are you ready?' I ask.

'Might as well get this show on the road,' Finnick smiles. I smile back, though it takes a lot of energy for me to actually get those muscles to work. I take a deep breathe, tightening my hands into a fist before I begin to walk.

We walk in silence, as if marching to our deaths. No one looks at each other. We just keep walking forward, not taking our eyes off the path. I can feel the tension in the air, the fear. I can feel my heart rate increasing, my body beginning to tremble the closer we get towards the Cornucopia. My hands find both that of Prim and Finnick, though I don't look at them. They, too, must be just as terrified as me for they take my offer of support with gratitude. I squeeze each hand tightly, feeling that it may stop me from trembling. It doesn't. But it doesn't matter because they're trembling too. I am not weak. I am only human.

We release each other's hands simultaneously the second we hear the sound of talking. I look to Prim and raise a finger to my lips, she nods her head slightly. I walk slightly ahead, keeping myself shadowed behind the trees. I look through the cluttered tree branches to see the Careers walking around the Cornucopia in a circle. There is never just one person in one place at one time. It is forever changing. I quietly take my bow off my shoulder, pulling an arrow out of the shaft too. My hands are still trembling as I try to place the arrow into the correct position. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my body. It works, but only slightly. I try to imagine that I am hunting.

I allow myself to become familiar with the Careers before I shoot. I recognise them instantly though from the minute I seen them. Only District 1 remains, the two Victors, Cashmere and Gloss, then the male tribute, Alvon. That cannon shot earlier must have been for Othello, probably at his failure to kill us.

I release the arrow the moment I see Alvon reappear, but it just misses his head, impacting the metal surface of the Cornucopia. Alvon's head suddenly darts towards my direction but before he has a moment to retaliate, I release another arrow that does hit him. He looks shocked for a second by the arrow, before falling against the Cornucopia. The impact of his body echoing on the metal panels, before sliding to the floor. A cannon is shot.

'Run!' I exclaim to Prim and Finnick. When I turn my attention back to the Cornucopia I can already see Cashmere and Gloss running in our direction, 'RUN!'

**A/N- Sorry once again for the really long update! Please leave me a review and 'follow' the story if you haven't already. The next chapter will be the last chapter! (boo). So i'll take extra long to update if you don't leave me a review! (just joking)**


	32. Chapter 32

'RUN!' I scream, racing towards Prim and Finnick. Prim simply stares at me, not registering the words that I am saying. I grab her arm, dragging her behind me. It's too late though, I can hear the heckles of Cashmere and Gloss from behind us. Finnick suddenly stops running, standing in one place.

'Go on without me, I'll hold them off,' Finnick calls.

'Katniss we can't-' Prim cries. I don't have a chance to look Finnick in the eyes, to thank him for his sacrifice. I have to keep running, dragging Prim behind me. She finally begins to run with me so I let go of her wrist, as she'll run faster.

I run for about a minute and though I can hear my heavy breath, I can't hear Prim's. I look over my shoulder to see how she is coping but when I look I see I am alone. I feel my stomach plummet. My mouth goes dry. I want to scream Prim's name but I can't draw attention to myself. She must have gone back for Finnick. She must have. That's the only logical explanation. I begin running back to where I left Finnick, my feet pounding against the dry ground. I pull out another arrow from my shaft, positioning it in the bow. Ready, just in case.

I can hear the voices of Cashmere and Gloss, though I can't see them. I hide myself behind a tree. Nearing myself towards the voices.

'Oh Finnick, you always have to play the hero don't you?' I hear Cashmere say. I look around the tree to see Finnick hunched on the ground, blood dripping from his wounded face. They're torturing him. Gloss shoots Finnick's trident into his left arm. I shut my eyes before I see the impact, though I can't shut out the agonising scream which Finnick releases.

'You're pathetic. Just like that nut case, Annie, of yours,' Gloss sneers before spitting at him. I wish I could jump out from the trees, shoot Gloss dead. But I know I wouldn't have the chance. Gloss and Cashmere, they're Careers. They're Victors. They're famous for their brutality. The moment I would emerge from the trees I would be killed. Then Prim would be by herself.

Prim. She's not here. I feel a sigh of relief to know that she has not been captured either, but if she's not here, where is she? My attention gets drawn back to Finnick as I hear another scream. There isn't any opportunity to shoot either Cashmere or Gloss, not without revealing myself.

'Any last words?' Gloss asks before Cashmere cuts a slit down Finnick's cheek.

'You won't win,' Finnick replies, blood spluttering out of his mouth. I can't see Finnick properly, but I can hear the defiance in his voice. He is not just speaking to Cashmere and Gloss. He's speaking to the whole of Panem. He is speaking to Snow.

Cashmere releases a sinister laugh, wiping some of the blood off of Finnick's face.

'I could bottle this and sell it to all your heart ridden fans the moment I win these Games.'

'At least I have fans,' Finnick remarks. With one quick swipe, I watch as the body of Finnick Odair collapses to the ground. The cannon shot echoing around the arena. I look away, running my fingers through my hair.

'He's dead. He's dead.' I whisper under my breath hysterically. I can already hear the mourning of Panem over their beloved Finnick. I can feel the tears in my eyes, though I know he's in a better place. I take a deep breath before hearing another cannon shot. The second I hear the cannon I examine my body, certain that the Careers must have noticed me. But I see nothing. I am fine. I am 100% fine.

I look back around the tree to find two bodies collapsed on the floor. Finnick and Cashmere's. And that's when I notice the knife that I gave Prim lodged in Cashmere's skull. I don't know why but I begin running. Running away from Finnick and Cashmere. Hoping that my sister sees me, that she will follow me. I want to scream her name. But I can't. I need my sister here with me. As I run, hundreds of thoughts run through my head. But one thought dominates them all. _There is only Gloss left._ Kill him and Prim has won. She'll have actually won.

I watch as a trident glides past my shoulder, impacting the red tree in front of me. Red substance splutters out onto my face. The smell of strawberries fills my nostrils. I look over my shoulder to see Gloss running after me. Our eyes connect and I can feel the pure hate radiate from them.

'Hey Gloss, catch me if you can,' I shout back before increasing my speed. I'm changing my tactic. I don't want Prim to follow me. I want Gloss to. Keep him as far away as possible from Prim as I can.

I hear my feet hitting against the dry ground once again, I can also hear Gloss's. I feel my heart rate increasing, both from the lack of oxygen I am receiving and due to the vast amount of fear. I am literally running for my life.

'I'm catching you, Girl on Fire,' I hear Gloss shout at me. I begin swerving in and out of the trees, trying to slow down Gloss's speed. Trying to catch him off guard. Maybe I can lose him. I doubt it. But maybe.

I take my fifth right, hoping that I have finally lost him. I take a quick glance over my shoulder to see that Gloss is not there. I feel a sense of relief but as I turn my attention back to where I am running, I feel myself impact with the tree. For a second I am dazed. Confused. As I raise myself up from the ground I hear footsteps racing towards me. I look up to see Gloss running towards me, a sinister smile spread across his face.

'Looks like someone needs to put out the fire,' Gloss says, slowing his pace. He stops running. Certain that he has caught me. He takes a gentle stroll towards me. I look around me, hoping to see somewhere to run too. But there is no escape. This is where I die.

Gloss positions Finnick's trident, aiming it to go directly through my head.

'I want you to look at me when I throw it,' Gloss sneers.

'Why?'

'It'll give me great satisfaction,' Gloss laughs. I feel sick by his presence. I take a deep breath, to calm my nerves, before locking eyes with Gloss. It's the first time I have seen Gloss up close. His eyes are dark brown, though they look almost black. He's smiling, though I see no light in his eyes. No happiness. He is already dead. A scar runs across his forehead, hidden by the deep wrinkles that frame his face.

'Any last words?' I ask. Gloss looks at me in slight confusion before bursting into laughter.

'You would have made a great Career,' Gloss states. Just as Gloss is about to release the trident I suddenly begin to tremble violently. I am unable to control myself. I try to grip onto the ground to stable myself, but the ground seems to be moving too. I look back to Gloss to find him shaking, the trident falling from his grasp. And that's when I realise it. I'm not trembling. It's an earthquake.

I watch as the trees begin to shake violently, birds flying out of the sky. Their screeches echoing around the arena. Gloss falls to the ground, unable to steady himself, and that's when I see my moment. I pull myself up from the ground and begin to run. My eyes are unable to focus on one area and I am unable to keep my balance. I stumble multiple times but I pull myself back up each time. I look over my shoulder and see no Gloss. I feel a sense of relief.

After five minutes the earthquake finally stops and I am able to regain my sense of stability. I begin running, running back to the Cornucopia. I know that it is located in the centre of the arena so I begin running south. The ground is no longer a dusty beige colour because of the dry ground. It is splattered with vibrant colours from the leaves of the trees. As I run I can hear the leaves crunching underneath my feet. One of my most favourite sounds.

After five minutes of running I can see glimpses of the Cornucopia shinning through the space where the trees fail to cover. I don't know what I will do once at the Cornucopia, but for now it is my goal.

'Katniss!' I hear Prim scream.

'Prim?' I shout. My heart rate intensifies. 'Prim?!' My voice physically breaks.

'Help me Katniss!' Prim screams once again. I run to the source of my sister's voice. It's almost like instinct. Whenever a loved one is in danger, your senses are able to perform better. Maybe, though, it's also because I am a natural hunter. So perhaps my senses are more in tune than other peoples.

'Katniss!' I hear Prim exclaim. As I push myself through the leaves I find my sister on the ground, a large branch crushing her leg, 'I can't move it!'

'Prim, what happened?' I cry whilst kneeling down next to my sister. I examine the branch; it's practically a tree trunk.

'I was hiding in the trees but then there was an earthquake and I fell,' Prim explains. Of course. The earthquake didn't happen to save me from Gloss. It happened to try kill Prim. I feel sick. The rules are forever changing in these Games.

'You're going to be okay Prim,' I say, 'I'm going to have to roll it off you.'

'That'll crush my leg!'

'It's better than being a sitting duck, Prim!' I exclaim. I look at my sister, tears filling her eyes. She is a sitting a duck. A little duck. '_Trust me_', I whisper.

'Okay,' Prim replies, her voice barely above a whisper. I notice her holding the blade that she had thrown at Cashmere earlier in her hand.

I roll the branch slowly down Prim's leg, I don't look at my sister, but I can hear her cry out in pain. It kills me.

'Just a little bit more,' I comment. I hear Prim crying in the background, though she tries to cover the sound. My brave sister. When Prim's leg is finally free I turn to my sister, embracing her in a tight hug.

'Can you move your leg?' I ask.

'Kind of,' Prim replies.

I try to lift Prim off the ground, though I can see she is weak on her leg. I turn to face my sister,

'Remember when I broke my ankle? I was able to go on, though the pain was excruciating. If you want to scream out in pain just squeeze my hand, okay?'

'Okay,' Prim replies. I kiss her gently on top of the head.

'KATNISS!' I hear Prim scream, her eyes widening in pure distress. Her voice piercing through my ears.

I turn around to see that Gloss has emerged. I don't think. I just react. I release an arrow directly into Gloss's chest. He smiles at me, pulling the arrow out and snapping it over his leg. I snatch the blade out of Prim's hand, feeling it piercing into my skin. I watch as Gloss's trident is released from his hand, I release the blade from mine. I watch as the two weapons pass each other mid air. I watch as the knife impacts with Gloss's chest, hitting him directly in the heart. He looks at me in shock, before collapsing to the ground. A cannon is shot.

'Katniss-' I hear Prim cry. I don't dare look at my sister. I feel the breath escape my lungs. I've let my sister down at the final hurdle. Flashes of Rue fill my mind. How it was my fault that she died. If I hadn't of moved out the way then the spear wouldn't have hit Rue. 'Katniss, look at me,' I hear Prim cry. I take a deep breath. Turning to face my sister. Ready to trident piercing through her body.

As I turn to face her, I am met by the blue tear filled eyes of my baby sister. My eyes trail down her body to where the trident should have impacted with her. But I see nothing. Prim's trembling hands rise to her mouth as she looks at me. Releasing a gasp. And that's when I realise.

I look down to see the trident has, in fact, impacted me. I begin to laugh at the sight of it. Uncontrollable laughter. I must look like I have lost my mind. My legs collapse from under me, forcing me to fall to the ground.

'Katniss,' Prim exclaims.

'I'm fine Prim,' I reply, trying to lift myself up, though I'm unable too.

'You can't go Katniss, you can't. You can't,' Prim whispers to me, her voice pleading. As I look at my sister, I see myself. The times when I begged Gale and Peeta to stay. The desperation. The feeling that your whole world is being torn away.

'Remember when I first started calling you Little Duck?' I say.

'Katniss, don't-'

'Dad had taken us to that pond in the woods, remember?' Prim nods her head slightly, tears running down her face, 'and you wouldn't go in the water because you were scared. So you sat on the bank and just watched us. Then Dad finally put you in the water and you were kicking about, not able to keep a float. But within five minutes you were swimming like a pro. Like a-'

'-A little duck,' Prim whispers.

'I am so proud of you, Prim. You're no longer a little duck. You've grown into a beautiful swan.'

Prim releases a high pitch scream that makes me break down into tears. I can feel the little energy which I have fading. The trident still remains in me, though I am so tired that I do not even notice it.

'I love you so much Prim.'

'I love you Katniss,' Prim whispers. She rests her forehead against mine, her tears dropping onto my face.

'Tell Buttercup I say hi,' I say. Prim wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly. She lowers me slowly to the ground.

'I love you,' Prim mouths at me. I cannot hear her voice.

'I love you,' I reply. I take one last deep breath before shutting my eyes. The cannon shot being the last noise I hear.

When I next open my eyes the blinding sunlight forces me to shut them again. I look down to find myself dressed in my normal clothes from the District. I take a deep breath, inhaling the smell of forest trees. I run my hand through the long grass that I am lying on before noticing my left hand holding something. I turn to the left of me to see Peeta lying on the ground next to me, holding my hand tightly.

'I told you I'd wait for you,' Peeta smiles before kissing me gently on the lips.

'Where are we?' I ask.

'The meadows but we can go wherever you want.'

'I don't understand… I'm dead. I just died Peeta.'

'Your body may have but your soul hasn't.'

'What about Prim? Has she won? Is she safe?'

'Yes. She's won. The moment she came out of that arena the rebels took her, Snow wont be able to hurt her.'

'The rebels?'

'I'll explain later. All you need to know is that Prim is safe.' I feel tears of happiness fill my eyes. I wrap my arms around Peeta tightly, knowing that he will never leave me again. That he is here forever.

I hear familiar voices call my name so I raise myself up off the ground, turning my head to the direction of the noise. And that's when I see them. Finnick. Apple. Sam. Johanna. Gale. Jade. Cloward. Mags. I even see Rue. I feel myself running towards them, my feet gliding across the soft ground. Happiness swelling from inside of me.

I run into Gale's open arms, submerging myself into a hug that I never want to end. We look each other in the eyes and all the words that need to be said are spoken.

'You put on quite a show, Catnip,' Gale smiles.

'I didn't want to go down without a fight,' I reply. I give everyone a hug, thanking each of them for the sacrifices that they have given. When I reach Rue though, I feel myself choke.

'I'm sorry,' I whisper to her.

'Don't be,' Rue replies. Her brown eyes looking at me with such intensity, 'Here is better than my District. I don't starve here and I can climb around in the trees.' I laugh at Rue's comment, kissing her gently on top of her head, like I did with Prim…

'_Katniss_,' I hear one final voice call. Gale and everyone else move out the way, revealing the final person to greet me to my eternal bliss. And that's when I see him. Standing there. Exactly how I remember him. His signature smile spread across his face. Whistling a faint tune underneath his breath. Standing there in his hunting gear, his leather jacket on. I stare at him in utter disbelief. Tears filling my eyes. His name escaping my lips,

'_Dad.'_

**A/N- Waaahh it's all over! Thank you so much for reading this story from start to finish. I've really enjoyed writing it and am so sad it's all over. Sorry if you didn't enjoy the ending :( If any of you have any ideas what my next story could be, i'd love to know! I don't know what to do with myself since this is finished. Hahaa! Please could you leave me a review telling me what you thought of the whole story overall? Thank you so much for reading xox**


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